Threatened with Court for Child Maintenance Payments.

Quiet_Life_2

Jox wrote: »

Could you buy him a driving lesson to see if he actually wants to learn to drive rather than just giving him the money?

In theory yes I could, but if I'm honest I don't see the point as he can not afford to run, tax and insure a car. he doesn't need a car. He lives in a town where buses come every 5 mins. His lack of car is not hampering him at all. I am concerned that he would be driving uninsured, high on drugs...etc. He has no where he has to be - no job, and the college (if he is indeed going) is walking distance. If I thought getting a driving license would assist then I would consider it but I think it will just increase his options to break the law.

I am happy to help support him with a course at college but with him threatening court (even after I have told him to put an application in to the CMS) I am unsure how to proceed.

Jox

I learned to drive when I was 17 cos my granny gave me the money but I didn't get a car til I was 25, maybe the driving lessons will teach him to focus and stick to something and maybe the driving instructor will have some life lessons to teach him! I remember my driving instructor from more than 20 years ago. You never know, it might show him that you believe in him and are willing to support him in this mature thing to do. One step at a time.

Quiet_Life_2

Jox wrote: »

I learned to drive when I was 17 cos my granny gave me the money but I didn't get a car til I was 25, maybe the driving lessons will teach him to focus and stick to something and maybe the driving instructor will have some life lessons to teach him! I remember my driving instructor from more than 20 years ago. You never know, it might show him that you believe in him and are willing to support him in this mature thing to do. One step at a time.

I take your point and I would love to buy into your theory. However just this morning I was talking to my ex wife and she was moaning that a 40+ year old 'junkie' that has just been released from prison for stabbing a police officer, was banging on her door yesterday asking for my son (and it was something to do with drugs) so I don't think he is ready to turn the corner yet and I am uninclined to assist him with driving lessons so that he can deal drugs to a wider area. The company he is keeping is not telling me that he is ready to turn his life around. I am willing to support his education in the hope that he will meet new 'friends' at college and better his prospects and realise he wants out of the life he currently has, but until I see evidence of that I am uninclined to pay out for 'extras'.

Socajam

Quiet_Life wrote: »

In theory yes I could, but if I'm honest I don't see the point as he can not afford to run, tax and insure a car. he doesn't need a car. He lives in a town where buses come every 5 mins. His lack of car is not hampering him at all. I am concerned that he would be driving uninsured, high on drugs...etc. He has no where he has to be - no job, and the college (if he is indeed going) is walking distance. If I thought getting a driving license would assist then I would consider it but I think it will just increase his options to break the law.

I am happy to help support him with a course at college but with him threatening court (even after I have told him to put an application in to the CMS) I am unsure how to proceed.

I totally agree with you about not giving him money for driving lessons with his history which hen needs to clean up before getting behind any vehicle.
I wonder if he were to get behind a vehicle and kill a relative/friend of those who are encouraging you to give this irresponsible person driving lessons, would they blame you? You bet.
What folks don't seem to understand is that driving is a privilege, not a right. Your son needs to earn that privilege, something he does not understand.
Also think of your conscience if he were to drive and kill something - could you live with that?
I would let him take me to court, present my case before the judge and what is decided go with that.

Quiet_Life_2

For those of you kind enough to post your views / suggestions on my problem back in April I thought I would post a quick update.....


My Son has just entered his 3rd month of a 4 month sentence in a Young Offenders institute. He still has a number of court cases pending coming up in the next few months (as the police build a case) including Possession of Drugs with intent to supply, Breaking and entering and carrying an offensive weapon.


I think it's safe to say that I am glad I did not give him money for driving lessons and it looks like he has lost any college place he may or may not have had so the chances of me being sued for money to support his education are slim.


I am still 'here' for him when he is ready to turn his life around but I am comfortable in the decision I made back in April as he obviously wasn't ready back then.