Planning for Children

Serialdieter

Hi

I think you are right to consider how much children cost and agree there is probably never a "good" time. One thing I would add is that friends and family will buy things and babies don't need much, particularly in the early days. Also consider if you are going to be at home for 9 months will you still use the car as much? probably not, so you may save on petrol. Also what I found is that at home you have more time to prepare and cook old style which may save a bit on your shopping. The obvious moneysavers imo were breastfeeding and cloth nappies, saving me I've calculated that the nappies over 3 years, yes my ds was 37 months before he potty trained, cost £77 plus a bit for 2 extra loads of washing per week - a lot less than disposables. Definately join all the baby clubs going for freebies etc.

Hope you have some good news soon.

jx

Dumb_Blonde_3

pollyanna24 wrote: »

I have started on the folic acid already, not sure what it does though. Maybe I should have read up on that.

I am worried about the financial side of things when I have a baby. Think I would be silly not to. At the moment, I earn more than my bf (not a huge amount more), so it is a huge drop in wages. We bought our house at what people think is the peak, near London, so our wages are pretty much taken up. However, we bought in a nice area, have a ready made 3bed family home, so don't plan to move soon.

We are very sensible with money and have never really been in debt (I know we have a loan, but hmm, that was the bf again, he's not as sensible as me).

We are saving like mad with the two lodgers we have (they are friends and family, so if they don't mind, maybe one (defo not two) can live with us when we have a kid). Currently have £8,500 in savings which is a nice safety net. Only had that much money before when we were saving for a deposit. I will use this if necessary, just don't want to and hopefully it will be more by the time I have to give up work.

Plan to go back to work after a year (or when maternity is over), but I don't want to work in London (travel will be too much if I have a child to look after as well). My mum is an option. She has her own debt to worry about, but after 2 years, she reckons she will be paid up and then maybe I can pay her to look after the child. I know this all sounds rather vague, but is something I have to look into further.

PS I've been with bf 9 years, people are starting to think there's something wrong with us for not having kids (although I know it's none of their business).

Folic Acid - helps prevent Spina Biffida (sp?) - the bones

You say that you plan to go back to work after a year - but can you afford not to? I ask this because I always planned to go back but when it came to it I couldn't face it - I just didn't 'trust' anyone else with my son you may feel like you want to stay at home with your child and do things with them and go to all the groups etc - not hear about it second hand from other people.

I really don't mean to harsh but these are all things you do have to consider. There are so many things to consider - are you emotionally ready - not just financially ready?

Oh one final thing - go to your ante-natel classes at the girls that you go there with - you will have such a good bond with them as you are all going through the same stages together and when the babes are born - again you can talk to them re: the first tooth etc - you go through things together - now 2 years on I still see the 'ant-natal' girls around 2-3-4 times a week we all take out little ones to the various groups and Mondays we take it in turns to host the 'party' - its great - they have been a lifeline. Ante-natal classes are so important

pollyanna24

Having a baby is definitely a joint decision, but he just doesn't have much clue about money. I've pretty much taken over (controlling I think is the word he uses!). Up to now, as long as he has "pocket money" out of his wages, he's fine. It's just trying to cut that pocket money is what the problem is.

At the moment, our budget also includes gym for him which I took out cos I don't think we can afford it when we have a kid. I also took out my highlights because I think that is a luxury.

He will learn, I know people will say he needs to learn for himself, but I would rather it this way than he be in debt which I think he would be if he had all his money to himself. He used to be quite bad with stuff like car insurance when he didn't have the money up front. Now I deal with it all. It feels a little like treating him like a child himself, but it works, so we've stuck with it.

pollyanna24

Serialdieter wrote: »

Hi

I think you are right to consider how much children cost and agree there is probably never a "good" time. One thing I would add is that friends and family will buy things and babies don't need much, particularly in the early days. Also consider if you are going to be at home for 9 months will you still use the car as much? probably not, so you may save on petrol. Also what I found is that at home you have more time to prepare and cook old style which may save a bit on your shopping. The obvious moneysavers imo were breastfeeding and cloth nappies, saving me I've calculated that the nappies over 3 years, yes my ds was 37 months before he potty trained, cost £77 plus a bit for 2 extra loads of washing per week - a lot less than disposables. Definately join all the baby clubs going for freebies etc.

Hope you have some good news soon.

jx

Hi, thanks for the above. I don't use the car at all. At the moment, I have a London underground travel card.

Dumb_Blonde_3

chevalier wrote: »

folic acid helps prevent against neural tube defects like spina bifida I think.

chev

Chev - you are right - I thought it was the bones - just checked the 'Pregnancy Book' page ten

You need to take a 400mg tablet regardless of what you eat containing folic acid.

Dumb_Blonde_3

pollyanna24 wrote: »

Having a baby is definitely a joint decision, but he just doesn't have much clue about money. I've pretty much taken over (controlling I think is the word he uses!). Up to now, as long as he has "pocket money" out of his wages, he's fine. It's just trying to cut that pocket money is what the problem is.

At the moment, our budget also includes gym for him which I took out cos I don't think we can afford it when we have a kid. I also took out my highlights because I think that is a luxury.

He will learn, I know people will say he needs to learn for himself, but I would rather it this way than he be in debt which I think he would be if he had all his money to himself. He used to be quite bad with stuff like car insurance when he didn't have the money up front. Now I deal with it all. It feels a little like treating him like a child himself, but it works, so we've stuck with it.

Oh and I am called the 'financial controller' - we both have an allowance which we take out of the bank every Friday on payday - it works for us too - if we don't do that we just seem to spend spend spend

pollyanna24

Dumb_Blonde wrote: »

Oh and I am called the 'financial controller' - we both have an allowance which we take out of the bank every Friday on payday - it works for us too - if we don't do that we just seem to spend spend spend

Thanks for that. I was expecting comments like "If you can't manage your money, how can you manage a child?" Teehee.

We know we are ready in our heads for a bubba, but I have always been a worrier about money, maybe from seeing my parents struggle when we were young.

carolt

Think that as from April, maternity benefits will last for 1 year instead of 9 months and are about £110 a month - also, if you've been working, your employer will pay the statuary maternity pay which will include 90% of your current pay for the first 6 weeks (if you've nly been working on and off, you can qualify for Maternity Allowance, which is the same weekly amount as SMP but without the first 6 weeks 90% extra). Also, some (nice) employers will pay you more than the statuary minimum anyway. Google SMP or Maternity Allowance for precise figures and details of what you need to qualify.

Also, sure you could cut some of your other figures too - look at the relevant forums for advice eg groceries (try Old Style board - really helpful), Sky etc.

Dumb_Blonde_3

pollyanna24 wrote: »

Thanks for that. I was expecting comments like "If you can't manage your money, how can you manage a child?" Teehee.

We know we are ready in our heads for a bubba, but I have always been a worrier about money, maybe from seeing my parents struggle when we were young.

Oh we are very alike - I have seen real hardship when I was younger and am soooooo determind that my son and furure children won't see that - there is so much more money around these days - but I think if you have seen hard times you are more 'in touch' if you like and don't want to see them again

Lucy1982_2

I have the greatest respect for you. I have a family member who is 4 months pregnant and has just left her husband. Rather than panic like you or I would do she has just gone... 'it's ok I'll claim benefit's I've worked for them'

I have no problem with people claiming what you entitled to, but she is going to have one rude wakeup call. Hundreds of people here could tell her how hard it is going to be.

Anyway, good luck with you jounrey to make babies! I saw a fab t-shirt I think you might like, it said:

What's your super power? I can grow people!