My Debts

Choccygirl123

Hi madfool

There's been loads of great advice on here and I can't really add anything. I just wanted to say well done on the new job and good luck on the f&f settlements. You can turn your situation around and just think how the lives of your children will change. Keep the focus, get help if you feel the gambling temptation is coming back and make sure you track your progress!

Good luck madfool

John_G_Jones

Madfool wrote: »

We are not concerned about Baliff's. The baliff for the council tax was round last year, very nice chap I allowed him into the house as i knew i had nothing of value. He even confirmed they wouldn't be interested in the Playstation 4 (which does belong to my step son) or the TV as they are not going to help pay the debt, and it doesn't belong to myself or my partner. He was more interested in knowing if we had 50" TV's in every room etc. He could see straight away we lead a very boring life, no luxury gifts or holidays, no expensive cars etc

So NO i'm not bothered by the Baliffs, and 'Can't pay, were take it away stylee' just isnt going to happen, because we have nothing to take away.

I can’t remember seeing such a cavalier attitude expressed on here before to such a severe debt crisis.

I don’t think that you’ve really had your lightbulb moment yet; you still want to keep blowing money that you don’t have on presents, having a nice time, and on trying to maintain a lifestyle that although you describe as modest you simply cannot afford.

What will you do if the person renting you your home needs to ask you to leave? You are going to end up homeless if you have the slightest bit of bad luck.

ev8

Quite agree with John above.

Also, that bailiff was nice, the next one they send could be quite the opposite. I think it very much matters that they come, even if you personally don't, your wife may mind deep down, and as a child, we had a couple of visits, and they have stayed with me my whole life.

I can't imagine that that's not the main thing of wanting to get out of serious debt, not having to worry when people knock on the door, and not have to be chased up by everybody.

Iwanttobefree

While I understand John G Jones and EV8's comments, I can also understand the Ops comments.

Years ago I had bailiffs come round, and I had nothing, so happily let them in. It was only a small blip (council tax arrears), and had more bailiffs wanted to come around, again it wouldn't have bothered me in the slightest, as I had nothing they can take.

That's not having a cavalier attitude, that's being stressed and it being the least of my worries. In my case, i was able to pay them back fully in just a few months.

As for Christmas presents, days out etc, obviously if your in debt, you cant go out as much as someone who isn't.

I'm in debt, we go our about 5 times a year.

Every March we go to see wifes fav band (our adult kids pay for this for our mother and father day presents) . Likewise on our and our kids birthdays, we go out for a meal. More often than not, our kids pay as they know how little money we have.

But that's because we don't have young (under 18) children.

Do you know how frustrating it is for my wife, to work her socks off (I cant work due to ill health) and apart from those times, never ever get to go out. Can't remember the last time we bought a coffee when out, years ago.

I just got a small lump sum from one of my pensions, paid out early due to my health. We spent most of it very sensibly. Wife needs a car for her job, ours was on it's last legs, £3k went on that. Some went on essential house repairs.

We've put 2.5k into Premium bonds so we're not tempted to touch it, and we are using the lot for a well deserved week somewhere in Europe later in the year. It could be argued that I should use that money to pay off some of my debt.

But anyone that thinks that, hasn't been in our position where for the last 10 years we've been really struggling, only had a few days break away that kids paid for.

The holiday we are having will be the first proper holiday we've had for over 10 years, and unless I win the lottery, it will be the last one we have for many years to come.

We need this holiday. Well my wife needs it. She's working herself to death at the moment, and to put it bluntly, if there's no enjoyment, we might as well throw ourselves off a cliff as life would just be mundanely boring.

It's very very easy to judge, but more often than not, those judging don't fully understand.

On paper, if say you have a 9 and 11 year old and you are in severe debt, and say it was going to take you 10 years to clear it, it makes sense to spend hardly anything on entertainment, presents etc.

But back in the real world, you only get that time with your kids once. Of course your going to take them swimming, the cinema etc etc etc. Of course when they want to go out with their friends, you are going to help them etc. And of course, while you wont be able to go mad, you will spend a bit on Christmas presents.

Modern electronics costs a lot, even if you bought one video game one of your kids wants, , your talking £40 - £50.

We got further into debt spoiling our kids a few times (eg only holiday they had between 10 and leaving home, it was totally worth it, they still talk about it now over 10 years later). I don't want my health problems (hence our debts) to deprive our kids of a fun upbringing. No of course we didn't go mad, we couldn't afford to, at the same time, we spent more than we really could afford (and one of our outstanding debts we still have is the credit card debt for that holiday) and I have zero regrets.

I don't blame the OP at all for wanting to spend a bit on his kids, although I think putting a bit away each month is the sensible root, if he can control himself not to touch it. My wife gives £10 to one of her clients (that she knows really well) each time she sees her (about once a fortnight) and her client gives her it back at the beginning of December.

That means we have about £250 to spend on Christmas and it's not money we can randomly access through the year. If she put it into the bank, it would just disappear on bills etc as we have zero balance at the end of each month, and have to watch each penny we spend.