Need help

enthusiasticsaver

Why are you paying for all the food? Presumably your husband gets paid more. Do you work part time? There looks like an unfair distribution of income so if he blames you that is unfair. Keeping quiet and doing nothing has probably led to the debt increasing so don't let this go any higher. If your husband won't merge finances stop buying all the food as you cannot afford it. Can you work longer hours? Cancel cable tv as that is not essential.

You cannot borrow your way out of debt so cut the cards up and make a plan. You really need to see what the position is though with your husbands income and expenditure. On your soa there is a shortfall even though none of your income is allocated to you personally just the family expenses and children. Your income is low so this is why you are in trouble. Show him the figures. Even if he gets stressed he has to know and to be fair this is his fault too. Why do some men imagine women can go on maternity leave and a reduced income and continue the same as pre kids? My husband and I had joint finances and always have. We both have the same personal disposable income. If he won't merge then you need to consider a DMP for you which will totally scupper any chances of a mortgage.

EssexHebridean

OK - let;s take a look - comments in red.

Before that though I'll agree that you DO need to tell your husband - if you are in doubt about that think how you would feel if the situation were reversed and it was him with the debt - would you be thinking about leaving him? Choose a time when he's quite relaxed and preferably when he's eaten - never a good plan to discuss stuff like this on an empty stomach!

Debtmess81 wrote: »

:(My SOA
Statement of Affairs and Personal Balance Sheet

Household Information
Number of adults in household........... 2
Number of children in household......... 2
Number of cars owned....................

Monthly Income Details
Monthly income after tax................ 1140
Partners monthly income after tax....... 0 Agree that we could ideally do with an idea of this for a full picture
Benefits................................ 0 You've checked you're not entitled to anything?
Other income............................ 0
Total monthly income.................... 1140

Monthly Expense Details
Mortgage................................ 0
Secured/HP loan repayments.............. 0
Rent.................................... 200
Management charge (leasehold property).. 0
Council tax............................. 60
Electricity............................. 60 This is 50%, yes? If so not the cheapest - have you checked whether you can switch to a better deal?
Gas..................................... 0
Oil..................................... 0
Water rates............................. 0
Telephone (land line)................... 10
Mobile phone............................ 26 Are you approaching the end of your contract? If so ditch & switch to SIM only. if you're within 3 months of the end ring sand tell your supplier you're going to leave at contract end, quote a decent SIM only deal from a different provider at them, and see what they say, they MAY let you jump early to a comparative deal of theirs - EE definitely do this sometimes)
TV Licence.............................. 6
Satellite/Cable TV...................... 22 Can you haggle with the provider to recude this?
Internet Services....................... 0
Groceries etc. ......................... 350 You can definitely trim this a fair bit - check out the Old Style board here, plus make sure you always meal plan, cook from scratch and shop to a list.
Clothing................................ 5
Petrol/diesel........................... 0
Road tax................................ 0
Car Insurance........................... 0
Car maintenance (including MOT)......... 0
Car parking............................. 0
Other travel............................ 0
Childcare/nursery....................... 100
Other child related expenses............ 30
Medical (prescriptions, dentist etc).... 0
Pet insurance/vet bills................. 0
Buildings insurance..................... 0
Contents insurance...................... 7
Life assurance ......................... 0
Other insurance......................... 16
Presents (birthday, christmas etc)...... 10
Haircuts................................ 0
Entertainment........................... 10
Holiday................................. 0
Emergency fund.......................... 20 If you're putting this amount aside monthly, where's it going - you'[re not showing any cash assets?
Total monthly expenses.................. 932


Assets
Cash.................................... 0
House value (Gross)..................... 0
Shares and bonds........................ 0
Car(s).................................. 0
Other assets............................ 0
Total Assets............................ 0

No Secured nor Hire Purchase Debts

Unsecured Debts
Description....................Debt......Monthly...APR
Credit card....................1700......20........0 Are these all on 0%? If not get the interest rates in there for a clearer picture!
Credit card....................417.......25........0
Credit card....................250.......14........0
Payday loan....................300.......103.......0 The interest on this is likely to be crippling
Payday loan....................244.......60........0The interest on this is likely to be crippling
Payday loan....................651.......100.......0The interest on this is likely to be crippling
Payday loan....................1050......105.......0The interest on this is likely to be crippling
Personal loan..................6400......78........0
Credit card....................1050......35........0
Total unsecured debts..........12062.....540.......-


Monthly Budget Summary
Total monthly income.................... 1,140
Expenses (including HP & secured debts). 932
Available for debt repayments........... 208
Monthly UNsecured debt repayments....... 540
Amount short for making debt repayments. -332

Personal Balance Sheet Summary
Total assets (things you own)........... 0
Total HP & Secured debt................. -0
Total Unsecured debt.................... -12,062

You're going to need to work with your husband on this - while you can trim your expenditure a bit, it's not going to be enough to solve the problem - as others have said I assume the debt wasn't all spent on "stuff for you" so this needs to be a team effort.

I assume your husband a) earns a lot more than you (hence no benefits) and b) pays for stuff that isn't shown on here? I'm not going to make any judgements on the way the paid of you organise your finances but things do needs to change - what worked pre children doesn't always work once they've joined the family, and financial stuff needs regular reviewing anyway, but even more so when there are drastic changes taking place!