Learning to live within my means

astrocytic_kitten

Thanks StartingAgain. It was actually reading your diary that made me remember my clothes pledge in the first place!

Clothes are such a problem for me. The £60 per month from last year is too high for someone with the level of debt I have, though it was major progress on the last few years where I probably spent 3 or 4 x that monthly (all adding to the debt). So 2019 can be a transitional year but if there’s one thing I do budget-wise in 2020, I want to properly get to grips with clothes spending and stop feeling an emotional need for new clothes. I can’t afford it, it’s not sustainable, it’s not green... I need to get control of it.

Steerpike88

Hey. Just found your diary you're doing so well! I found charity shops in certain areas near me had great clothes for only £3 of £4 so I set myself a budget of about £15 a month and would pick up a few things. Not done it since I've had kids really as my first would never sleep in the buggy, my second is really great but I'm a bit too busy doing nursery pick ups. I might do a charity shop crawl next month when OH gets paid actually. Good luck to you!

Magpie100

Delurking with two suggestions on the clothes-buying front. Have you read 'How to Break Up With Fast Fashion' by Lauren Bravo? I haven't read it yet but intend to and it has good reviews. I appreciate the irony of telling you to buy a book when you want to cut back on spending - but it might be a useful read and worthwhile pending the ££ on it if it helps you reframe your attitude towards buying clothes.

The second is to come and join us on the charity shop bargains thread on the Old Style boards. I started CS shopping in earnest last year and am enjoying it SO much. When I bought clothes new I felt like I made the wrong decisions for the wrong reasons and often ended up annoyed with myself and disappointed with what I had bought. But by shopping in CS shops I feel none of that - I buy something, and if it doesn't work I re-donate it and everyone wins. I am also much more adventurous in what I buy (because I can afford to be!) - some things work, some don't, but it doesn't matter. And the amount of stuff I find in CS shops that are BNWT or barely worn is incredible. It does take a while to transition to it and I think you also need to learn what to look out for as you go along, but it is so worthwhile. I have an Instagram page where I show the stuff I have found - let me know if you want to follow along and I will PM you.

Hope the above helps - keep going! M100

StartingAgainAt29

I'm seconding Magpie with that book recommendation, I've not read it yet but did read the free Amazon sample and it looks v interesting.

astrocytic_kitten

Steerpike88 wrote: »

Hey. Just found your diary you're doing so well! I found charity shops in certain areas near me had great clothes for only £3 of £4 so I set myself a budget of about £15 a month and would pick up a few things. Not done it since I've had kids really as my first would never sleep in the buggy, my second is really great but I'm a bit too busy doing nursery pick ups. I might do a charity shop crawl next month when OH gets paid actually. Good luck to you!

Magpie100 wrote: »

The second is to come and join us on the charity shop bargains thread on the Old Style boards. I started CS shopping in earnest last year and am enjoying it SO much. When I bought clothes new I felt like I made the wrong decisions for the wrong reasons and often ended up annoyed with myself and disappointed with what I had bought. But by shopping in CS shops I feel none of that - I buy something, and if it doesn't work I re-donate it and everyone wins. I am also much more adventurous in what I buy (because I can afford to be!) - some things work, some don't, but it doesn't matter. And the amount of stuff I find in CS shops that are BNWT or barely worn is incredible. It does take a while to transition to it and I think you also need to learn what to look out for as you go along, but it is so worthwhile. I have an Instagram page where I show the stuff I have found - let me know if you want to follow along and I will PM you.

Hope the above helps - keep going! M100

Thanks Steerpike and M100! I think a regular mooch round charity shops would definitely help - for instance, I want a big cosy oversized jumper and I’m sure the men’s section of a charity shop would have one. Right now my mobility is very limited (hopefully temporarily) and I can’t physically make it to any charity shops, but I’m definitely going to bear it in mind.

I really love beautifully made clothes, back when I had the energy I’d sew some of my own clothes so they would fit well and be in the style I liked, and even expensive clothes these days are often shoddily made from cheap fabric. I’d always tell myself I was a savvy sale shopper (and I do have some favourites which were bought on massively deep discount and then tailored to fit perfectly. If my wardrobe only consisted of well chosen stuff like that it would be fine... but it doesn’t). There’s been lots of expensive mistakes and things I bought for the sake of buying, though I did at least sell most of that last year. I still have a small pile to sell, but waiting until I can make it to the post office.

I can totally see myself enjoying hunting for gems once I have the energy... and hopefully still learn to only buy things I love and need.

Magpie100 wrote: »

Delurking with two suggestions on the clothes-buying front. Have you read 'How to Break Up With Fast Fashion' by Lauren Bravo? I haven't read it yet but intend to and it has good reviews. I appreciate the irony of telling you to buy a book when you want to cut back on spending - but it might be a useful read and worthwhile pending the ££ on it if it helps you reframe your attitude towards buying clothes.

StartingAgainAt29 wrote: »

I'm seconding Magpie with that book recommendation, I've not read it yet but did read the free Amazon sample and it looks v interesting.

Thanks M100 and StartingAgain for the book rec! I’ve just put in a reservation at the library - I read a newspaper article on it with an excerpt at the start of the year and it does look really interesting.

Elisheba

Hi AK,
I've just read your diary and you are doing amazingly! I also have resolved not to buy any Kindle books until I've read some of the ones I already own. I'm my case probably over 1000...

What you say about emotional spending really rings a bell with me. Other than socialising and going out, I think the majority of my debt probably comes from impulse buys - clothes, shoes, household things. They all make me feel really good at the time, but that doesn't last obviously!

I've subscribed to your diary and wish you good luck this year with your reduced income!

astrocytic_kitten

Thanks for the support Elisheba, and I hope your no more kindle spending goes well! At the moment I’m reading ebooks from the library rather than actually working my way through my unread books, but I have at least avoided buying new ones so far...

Elisheba

I love the library ebooks app. It makes me feel like I'm shopping, but without spending any money :T :T :T

astrocytic_kitten

Not much to report today, except I realised I’ve been posting on this thread for just over a year! I’ve never managed to keep up any sort of budgeting push for nearly this long....

I’ve been thinking that even if I’m not in as good a place as I’d have hoped to be, with an uncertain 2020 ahead of me, I’m absolutely light years ahead of where I’d be now if I hadn’t started to get to grips with things last year. So thank you, MSE!

girlatplay

astrocytic_kitten wrote: »

Not much to report today, except I realised I’ve been posting on this thread for just over a year! I’ve never managed to keep up any sort of budgeting push for nearly this long....

I’ve been thinking that even if I’m not in as good a place as I’d have hoped to be, with an uncertain 2020 ahead of me, I’m absolutely light years ahead of where I’d be now if I hadn’t started to get to grips with things last year. So thank you, MSE!

It's brilliant isn't it? That's why I try to post every day, it keeps me accountable and focussed. Also, I don't like admitting to a public forum that I've fallen off the wagon. I keep it real on here but without identifying details so if I say I've screwed up then I actually have and I don't want to do that.

You're doing great, every little bit helps.