tricky situation for us

EssexHebridean

BabyStepper wrote: »

Nobody got into £50k of debt by having a good handle on their budget and their finances. When things have been so out of control for so long, learning to manage is tricky and takes time. We have all said 'oh it's fine, I can afford the payments' as if that made it alright. I think it's called denial. Panicking is not helpful either, but a realistic idea of the journey you face trying to pay down debt, stabilise your finances and learn how much your lifestyle actually costs is very useful. And hard won by lots of us.

Using your mortgage loan like a line of credit to withdraw from then add to whenever you need to is madness, in my opinion. I'm in full agreement with EssexHebridean. Unstable times are here, and are going to get worse. We all need to hang on to our homes. Consolidation just shifts the debt from one place to another. You still have the debt, it still needs paid, and your equity could disappear in a moment if house prices fall. Massively in debt and with many fewer choices in life than you would have if you were debt free.

This is not just a game of numbers. It's an emotional journey involving comfortable habits and routines, motivation, self-worth, delayed gratification and much more. If you shove all the debt on your mortgage you'll miss all the learning. And probably end up in debt again.

Whatever you do OP I wish you all the very best.

^ ^ ^ ^

This. :T:T:T:T:T:T:T

One of th best posts I've read on here in a while - well called BabyStepper.

getmore4less

Once the OP has extracted the SOA from their OH who is in charge of the finances we can see how good their OH plan is.

Then the OP can feed back to their OH what changes need to happen.

I do find it difficult to understand why if both are committed to dealing with the problem one does not know basic information.

Urgent need for SOA.

getmore4less

The other thing we don't know is if this is month one or longer.

OP hints they may have been on this for a few months.