Resigning from a new job and going off sick

Lady_1

Hi

I’ve been working for a school for a few years and a couple of months ago I took on a new role. I absolutely hate it. I lay in bed every night either not sleeping due to dreading going in, or having very restless dreams about all the work that needs to be done (that I’ve had no training for). The role very senior and comes with a huge amount of responsibility. I am living in fear of making a ha big error and having a ton of bricks coming down of me. I simply cannot live like this anymore.

I’ve decided to resign but cannot face going back to work (currently on school holidays). I’m thinking of getting signed off and f work with anxiety and depression- both of which I have suffered with previously and been on medication for. I came off medication early last year as I was doing better, but i have got to a point where I feel like continuing with this job will mean I have to go back to function again. I have 2 young children so cannot allow things to get that bad.

What are my rights on this? Will my pay be affected if I go sick for my notice period? Would my employer have to mention this in a reference if I get a new job?

Thanks x

Fireflyaway

I sympathize with you. I was in the same situation last year. Felt sick, couldn't sleep, was over eating and drinking. I knew the situation wouldn't change at work so I spoke to my GP who signed me off.During that time I applied for other jobs. I then resigned and didn't go back as the sick note covered my notice period. Best thing I've done to be honest. I never thought it would happen to me. I've always worked from 16 and I'm nearly 40 and never had an issue with stress or absence. It can happen to anyone. Don't feel bad, sometimes jobs are just not worth sticking with.
I don't know what my reference said, I've not asked. I do know from hiring and asking for references for people I have recruited that often companies will not state much on a reference. Normally just job title and dates of employment.
If any workplace asks you how many days absence you have had, explain how many and then why. It's not an issue with you but the situation you found yourself in.

Masomnia

It's really hard to advise on this on a forum like this. In terms of pay it's very much dependent on what your contractual entitlement is on sick pay; and if you have no entitlement to contractual sick pay, what your notice period is and what your length of service is.

In terms of a reference a future employer could ask how much time you've had off, and your employer could tell them. But that depends on the policy of both sides which no one here will know.

I would advise you talk to them. Explain how you're feeling and that you want to resign the position. Talk through the options. If it means you leaving then so be it, but in that case I would hope it would put you in a better place where work doesn't make you ill.

Best of luck.

jonnygee2

I lay in bed every night either not sleeping due to dreading going in, or having very restless dreams about all the work that needs to be done (that I’ve had no training for). The role very senior and comes with a huge amount of responsibility. I am living in fear of making a ha big error and having a ton of bricks coming down of me. I simply cannot live like this anymore.

The real problem here isn't sickness, it's self-diagnosed under-performance. The reason you are stressed is that you think you aren't good enough. You may be right, you may be wrong. But I completely agree with Masomnia. You need to talk with them. Speak to your manager and say you feel the job is a step too far for you and you are stressed about under-performing.

Listen to their feedback too. Maybe they actually think you are very good at the job, in which case your anxiety might be causing you to assess the situation incorrectly.

If you just resign and then call in sick until the end of the contract, they are likely to assume that you just don't care. At least if you speak to them, they'll understand it's not some whimsical decision but a serious concern about your health, and have a chance to deal with the situation properly.

The other point is, you work for a school. As you know, if you leave a position of responsibility with effectively no notice then that could have negative consequences that could ultimately affect the children's education. Right now you are thinking of your own mental state - completely understandable given the circumstances and your own dependants - but if you do act too rashly you might end up regretting this later down the line.

Lady_1

Thank you for the replies. I know I need to speak with my manager and explain the issue, and I will do so on Monday when school reopens.
I will just explain that I am not a teacher, or even in a pupil-facing role, so my leaving without notice would not impact the students’ education at all. It would leave the school in the lurch so to speak, which actually adds to my stress levels as I feel like I shouldn’t just walk away even though it what my mental health needs........
I do intend to see my GP as well as I am not coping well and need some help. If he suggests time off work I will take it - and I have made up my mind about resigning. I actually feel a huge sense of relief for making that decision which to me means it’s the right move.

trailingspouse

And finally, (and I speak as someone who was in a teaching role, and did just walk away), you need to have a proper conversation with yourself about what exactly the problem was. Do you feel you were bounced into this role with no training? Did you apply for it and then realise you'd bitten off more than you could chew? Did you have a role that you were comfortable with which had more and more added to it until you could no longer perform effectively? Which parts of the role caused you the most grief? Were there any parts that you actually quite enjoyed, despite everything?


Now that you've made up your mind to resign, and you feel calmer about it all, is a good time to assess what you want and (more to the point) what you don't want from a job. All the very best with the future. The night after I walked away, I actually slept - says it all really.