*sigh* this may take a while

ohdearhowdidthathappen

Ordered gifts for youngest's 4th Birthday, spent £50 on 6 gifts. That's pretty good for us, I'd normally have spent double that, but I'm happy with what we've got and I know he'll love them.
We don't do parties for young ones, start at 5, so other than a cake (going to bake one!) it's a pretty frugal (for us) Birthday

Mini grumble is that all sets of grandparents (there are 3 as DH parents are divorced) just send us money and I have to buy their gifts as well. I'm probably being grouchy, but I can't see why they can't just buy them themselves, I'd happily send them links for ideas. They're all tech savvy and regularly shop online etc. I then have to give the gifts to them to wrap, except DH Dad isn't local, so I wrap his too. Gah!

ohdearhowdidthathappen

We've been chatting about our finances and prioritising. The only debt we now have (other than our epic mortgage) is the £8500 we owe OH Dad. He's happy if we pay that back out of OH next two bonuses, so £4250 in March '20 and £4250 in March '21, which is lovely of him.

We're therefore going to prioritise finishing off the house and saving up an emergency fund. We think £5k should finish most of the house; fencing (very large garden ), plastering one room and carpeting hall, stairs, landing and 2 bedrooms. The main bathroom needs doing too, but that's a 3-5 year aim!
Emergency fund, we'd like to also save £5K and then leave it untouched. If we manage to do all that before March '21, then we'll aim to pay OH Dad back early

We both got paid yesterday, so have transferred money around where it needs to go. We did have £1200 left over and I've put it to one side towards some fencing and steps that are being done next month. The work is costing £3k and I've only got to save another £800 to have it all sitting there waiting. We're pretty proud of that

Yellow_mango

Sounds like a good plan! I can’t wait until we’ve finally got rid of these debts and can start saving up properly for house stuff!

That’s reminded me - our fence really needs doing too. Not very glamorous, but that’s probably the first thing we should be saving up for.

ohdearhowdidthathappen

My mum's birthday is coming up (a big one), so I've been doing some babysitting to earn money for that without it coming out of our monthly figures.
I've saved £150, so I'm going to give her £50 in cash and my brother and I are taking her out for lunch, so the other £100 will pay for Mum and I.
My Mum and brother are both a bit rubbish with money and are both discharged bankrupts. Since my Dad died, I've been keeping Mum to a strict budget to ensure she makes ends meet. 15 months in and it's been working, although I do find it a bit of a mental and emotional strain keeping her on track. Dad used to handle their finances and she's almost a bit child like with it all, which I find frustrating. My brother makes me annoyed with his finances, his priorities are all off.
When my Dad died, OH and I paid all the funeral expenses and brother said he couldn't afford to contribute, the following month he went on holiday and bought a new car. Some of our unsecured debt is the funeral costs (I don't resent that, my lovely Dad deserved a good send off), but it galled me that Mum and brother wouldn't help at all. Gah! Sorry, turned into a mini rant there.
Mum's lunch, I suggested a venue which was nice, but reasonably priced. She guilt tripped me into taking her somewhere else (much more expensive) instead 'oh, it was mine and your Dad's favourite' etc and then my brother now saying he can only afford to pay for himself, not half my mum's too as previously agreed. Hey ho, families, eh?

enthusiasticsaver

Sounds like you are doing really well if you only have the family debt to repay and your FIL is willing to wait until bonuses paid. I agree emergency savings should be a priority but good you can now concentrate on saving for the home improvements.

I am a bit :eek: at the gall of your mum in dictating the choice of venue when she knows it is expensive and of your brother in saying that although he will pay for himself he will not give anything towards your mums meal. I am sorry but I would be tempted to say to her that your brother cannot afford to pay towards it so it will be your choice where you eat as you are paying for her meal. No wonder they have gone bankrupt in the past. Don't get me started on leaving you to pick up the bill for your Dads funeral. I have no doubt that you would want to do that for him but where were your brother and mum in helping you sort that out?

Just make sure you are not the go to for any money issues for them both and I would be inclined to tell them you earnt some babysitting money on top of your normal salary to pay for your mums treat so they are under no illusions that money comes easy to you. You have a large family and a house which needs work.

efes_shareholder

I'd be inclined to drop the brother out of the celebration and let him do what he can afford to treat her too

Mum gets two birthdays then too

ohdearhowdidthathappen

enthusiasticsaver wrote: »

I am a bit :eek: at the gall of your mum in dictating the choice of venue when she knows it is expensive and of your brother in saying that although he will pay for himself he will not give anything towards your mums meal. I am sorry but I would be tempted to say to her that your brother cannot afford to pay towards it so it will be your choice where you eat as you are paying for her meal. No wonder they have gone bankrupt in the past. Don't get me started on leaving you to pick up the bill for your Dads funeral. I have no doubt that you would want to do that for him but where were your brother and mum in helping you sort that out?

Just make sure you are not the go to for any money issues for them both and I would be inclined to tell them you earnt some babysitting money on top of your normal salary to pay for your mums treat so they are under no illusions that money comes easy to you. You have a large family and a house which needs work.

I know, I was really upset about my Dad's funeral. Mum was saying she'd only pay for a bare bones funeral, the £1200 ones that usually happen if someone has no friends or family! I said OH and I would top it up so he got a decent send off.... Mum then never gave us the £1200 when I queried it she said she needed it as was skint. She's never worked and the reality of living expenses makes her panic (but not enough to get a job!).
I think my Mum and brother see us as wealthy, but I'm careful not to get into money lending/giving as it would become the norm. Just means I get stung on occasion when I'm not clever enough to realise it's happening until it's too late!

ohdearhowdidthathappen

efes_shareholder wrote: »

I'd be inclined to drop the brother out of the celebration and let him do what he can afford to treat her too

Mum gets two birthdays then too

It's very tempting, but he's very rubbish at maintaining contact with us. I'm not overly fussed as I've lost a lot of respect for him in recent year, but it would upset my Mum. Chalking it up to another lesson learned

ohdearhowdidthathappen

Kids got fab school reports and it's a bit of a tradition that they get to pick a takeaway as a reward... McD was the choice for this evening. It'' cost about £30 for the 5 of them, the 2 teenagers have adult meals and mcflurries are obligatory apparently, but I don't mind as takeaways are a rarity.

I bought a whole load of ice cream for the freezer, went to Iceland and they had some really good deals. Saves money in the long run as stops me getting random ice creams while out (we've got loads at home sort of stops the begging) or getting caught out with shopping with kids, who seem to think Magnums and Ben & Jerrys are the only option!
Did some baking today (banana bread to use up some 'past their best' ones) and made some soup to freeze. Trying to minimise waste, although we're pretty good usually.
I'm working tomorrow and OH is doing some decorating, so should be a NSD

ohdearhowdidthathappen

I've just spent my evening setting up a YNAB account, or the free trial anyway. I like the ethos of it and I'm intrigued... I like the idea of being a month ahead of ourselves and if I keep it updated, there's nowhere to hide (worryingly). I've set it up to start 1st July and have used my SOA as the starting point...