Going to dig ourselves out of this hole

lincs1205

Ggggrrrr just typed out a really long post then deleted it by accident, bit difficult typing when you've got a cat sitting on your lap when on the laptop. Bit of background last year my fil was diagnosed with stage 3 rectal cancer, he had surgery and chemo, December last year my mum ended up being bluelighted into hospital with sepsis while she was in they did a ct scan and found she had liver metastases (later found it wasn't), she was in and out of hospital until march this year when they found that the liver metastases was actually a liver abcess which was only found because the consultant went in higher up, she also has a mass on her pancreas which thank goodness is benign but she has to have regular ct scans they only found out in june that it was benign. In July my fil was given the all clear from his cancer however shortly afterwards he started to develop pain and after being in hospital for most of july and august we were actually told the cancer was back and that it had metastasized he then commenced on palliative chemo and is responding really well, better than anyone hoped in fact. The middle of august my mil got rushed in again with sepsis thankfully she is fully recovered.
I actually feel so embarrassed and ashamed that we've let ourselves get further and further into debt, dh has for the most part been all to happy to let me be the money manager but I can not budget for toffee and despite me showing dh the banking app and trying to split our credit card debt onto different cards it hasn't helped in fact it's made it more complicated. We're still going into our overdraft each month, still putting stuff on credit cards ie I bought tickets to go and see tt next year, he's putting a deposit down on a motorbike after passing his bike test. But finally after the most horrendous year we are pulling our heads out of the sand and we realise that we need to knuckle down and get rid of this debt before it cripples us, he is going to see if he can pick some overtime shifts up over Christmas (he works for one of the supermarkets) and once I get back to work i'm currently off sick after a bad fall a few weeks ago which as I haven't rested it has not healed so I am currently off sick until the 21st December which is so frustrating. In a way it's a good thing because at least we are able to sit down together to formulate a plan of action to get us out of this mess.

lincs1205

Ok, so how are we going to get out of this mess
1 - STOP SPENDING ON CREDIT CARDS
2 CUT SAID CREDIT CARDS UP
3. DO A REALISTIC BUDGET AND STICK TO IT
4, ME- JOIN AN AGENCY - DO EXTRA SHIFTS
5. HIM - PICK UP EXTRA SHIFTS WHERE HE CAN
6 . JOIN SOME CHALLENGES ON HERE
7. DO AN SOA

Be more mindful when i'm shopping, make a list and stick to it.

pidge04

Welcome! I think you are going to do really well with this! You’ll clear these debts - you will!

lincs1205

Hi Pidgeo4, thankyou for popping bye. For the first time since being on this forum I actually feel like we are going to get out of this, you know why because for the first time dh is actually on board and listening to me. I know this because for the first time since we got together he has picked up some extra shifts, yes we will still have some bumps in the road. Remembered today that we need new tyres for the car tyres as in plural as in all 4 :mad::mad::mad:, they were 79% worn in june so I definitely need some new ones before the end of the year so that is going to go on credit card. :mad::mad::mad::mad: in other news I have today joined a nursing agency just waiting for them to review all my paperwork and arrange an interview then I will be already to go in the new year :T:T. I also went for a walk to the retail park to mr l and mr £land and got a few Christmas presents and a couple of sealed tins so I can put the £2 coins I already have safely in a tin so they are not easily accessible. If anyone has any spreadsheets they could let me have a look at to try and get our finances organised it would be much appreciated. There are some benefits to being off sick not many because I can't go anywhere cause of my leg and i'm starting to get a bit crazy hence the reason for the walk. Tomorrow i'm going to look at surveys and also wrap some Christmas presents and write some more cards, I found 4 boxes of Christmas cards and umpteen rolls of Christmas paper upstairs that i'd hidden.

enthusiasticsaver

Start with doing an soa. Save an emergency fund and cut up the credit cards. You need to get out of the habit of using credit cards when you don't have the money to repay it. The general rule is if you don't have the cash don't buy it. Passing a bike test does not mean your DH has to buy a bike immediately and buying TT tickets on credit, well least said about that the better.

The thing is anyone in debt is just one emergency away from bankruptcy. You have had a lot of ill health in your family so you will know this. One of you losing your job with a high amount of debt will mean some sort of a DMP and defaults. Good you have started to sort it when it is below £30k but it is still a lot of unsecured debt on probably very little.

lincs1205

Enthusiastic saver many thanks for the advice believe you me, we know that we are standing on the edge of a precipice and that if god forbid anything did happen to either one of us we would be in big trouble. In my profession I know how short life can be and I've seen at first hand how cruel it can be, this year has been very tough but I think in many ways it has brought dh and I closer together in that we can talk more and i'm not keeping things to myself as much. A few weeks ago after a particularly busy shift at work I took a nasty tumble down a couple of concrete steps straight onto the concrete thankfully I didn't do myself any damage well apart from a severe soft tissue injury which has resulted in me having to go off sick for two weeks, i'm lucky that I get paid for when i'm off sick.
The very thought of how much debt makes me feel sick and ashamed if our parents knew they would so cross and disappointed.

GlendaSugarbean

Deep breath - you're facing up to the problem and you can do this

beanielou

Happy shiny new diary

enthusiasticsaver

lincs1205 wrote: »

Enthusiastic saver many thanks for the advice believe you me, we know that we are standing on the edge of a precipice and that if god forbid anything did happen to either one of us we would be in big trouble. In my profession I know how short life can be and I've seen at first hand how cruel it can be, this year has been very tough but I think in many ways it has brought dh and I closer together in that we can talk more and i'm not keeping things to myself as much. A few weeks ago after a particularly busy shift at work I took a nasty tumble down a couple of concrete steps straight onto the concrete thankfully I didn't do myself any damage well apart from a severe soft tissue injury which has resulted in me having to go off sick for two weeks, i'm lucky that I get paid for when i'm off sick.
The very thought of how much debt makes me feel sick and ashamed if our parents knew they would so cross and disappointed.

Working as a team is crucial to dealing with this. It is absolutely no use if one half of the partnership continues spending as before while the other shoulders the worry and stress of trying to fix their debt problems. Learning how to budget would be a first step so there is money saved for unexpected bills, car maintenance, Christmas, holidays etc. You are not alone in your generation in not knowing how to do this. One of the great disservices done to your generation(sorry, can't gauge your age) is that saving for things has gone out of fashion. The availability of cheap credit over the last few decades has meant many are in your situation and don't think there is any problem with it. All ok while you can service it but throw sickness, redundancy, bereavement, maternity leaves etc etc into the mix and then there are massive problems.

No use in looking back though. You are making a start, learn to budget and plan your finances better and in a year or two your situation will be better. As I said yesterday doing an soa is a good start as it focuses your mind on how much money you are really spending each month and what on. It often brings up surprises. A lot of people think coming up to Xmas there is no point budgeting and I have noticed there has been a few posters obviously digging their heads in the sand at this time of year but I think it is even more important to budget now while there is so much temptation to overspend around. Don't let that be you. Good luck.

lincs1205

Statement of Affairs and Personal Balance Sheet

Household Information
Number of adults in household........... 2
Number of children in household......... 0
Number of cars owned.................... 1

Monthly Income Details
Monthly income after tax................ 1855.8
Partners monthly income after tax....... 1728.47
Benefits................................ 0
Other income............................ 0
Total monthly income.................... 3584.27

Monthly Expense Details
Mortgage................................ 762.9
Secured/HP loan repayments.............. 423.69999999999993
Rent.................................... 0
Management charge (leasehold property).. 0
Council tax............................. 130
Electricity............................. 41.5
Gas..................................... 41.5
Oil..................................... 0
Water rates............................. 24
Telephone (land line)................... 18
Mobile phone............................ 70
TV Licence.............................. 12
Satellite/Cable TV...................... 7.99
Internet Services....................... 14.51
Groceries etc. ......................... 100
Clothing................................ 40
Petrol/diesel........................... 60
Road tax................................ 1.66
Car Insurance........................... 26.91
Car maintenance (including MOT)......... 35
Car parking............................. 0
Other travel............................ 0
Childcare/nursery....................... 0
Other child related expenses............ 0
Medical (prescriptions, dentist etc).... 0
Pet insurance/vet bills................. 31.52
Buildings insurance..................... 5.25
Contents insurance...................... 10.41
Life assurance ......................... 66.16
Other insurance......................... 24
Presents (birthday, christmas etc)...... 0
Haircuts................................ 25
Entertainment........................... 30
Holiday................................. 0
Emergency fund.......................... 0
union fee............................... 16.4
Total monthly expenses.................. 2018.41


Assets
Cash.................................... 0
House value (Gross)..................... 220000
Shares and bonds........................ 0
Car(s).................................. 0
Other assets............................ 0
Total Assets............................ 220000


Secured & HP Debts
Description....................Debt......Monthly...APR
Mortgage...................... 97062.8..(762.9)....2.74
Hire Purchase (HP) debt ...... 8049.....(123.4)....3.5<
car............................16000....(300.3)....5.7 - finishes december next year
Total secured & HP debts...... 121111.8..-.........-

Unsecured Debts
Description....................Debt......Monthly...APR
mbna...........................15843.....265.1.....0% until april 2020
virgin.........................6379......63.79.....0% until july 2019
virgin.........................8007......95.56.....0% until march 2019

Firstly I would like to say that we are both absolutely appalled by this as I am sure are some of you, believe you me when I say that no-one can give me a more severe telling off or beat myself up over this than me. We have been stupid and we have stuck our heads in the sand particularly so over the past couple of years, however I know that other people have had far worse times than us and haven't continued to spend with as little regard as we apparently have.:mad:

This debt has accumulated due to us thinking why shouldn't we, lifes to short, we can't take it with us. However the flip side of it is and what has acted as a huge wake up call to both of us is that health is so precious, I had a bad fall six weeks ago now and it is only healing now after 6 weeks fortunately I get full sick pay but if I didn't or it was dh that was off sick we would really be up a creek without a paddle and as enthusiastic saver said we would be facing a dmp or bankruptcy.

So, the plan for getting us out of this is

1) post soa - done
2) have completed a balance transfer from bc and bos to mbna
3) cut credit cards up - done
4) ring companies and cancel the cards i have balance transferred from - done
5) start doing surveys- done
6) dh signed up for overtime - done

The other thing i have done which is attached to the bank we have our main account with is download an app which tracks all your debit card spending over the month. This has provided some eye-opening facts namely it is me that goes out and spends without thinking on our joint account on stupid things. I have definately become more mindful and from payday this month we are both going to take a set amount of money out of our joint account and that is for our personal spends. From looking at the resuts from the soa we should have £1000 surplus but we don't due to me having spent with complete disregard. I went through our bank statements both online and on the app and some months on my own i was spending anything from £300 to £800 a month so angry and disappointed with myself. i actually said to dh that i would like him to shout at me.

Ok here goes.:eek:

GlendaSugarbean

Well done - now you know where you are and you have the means to fix it