Please help me - I'm desperate

depressedatdebtdelilah

Hey guys.

I’ve browsed these boards anonymously for a while, but I’m finally at the point where everything has caught up with me, and I’m really in desperate need of help as to where to start with all this, so decided it was time to sign up and do a post.

I’m at the point where I feel like I can’t think of anything other than drowning in this, it’s a crushing weight on my chest and is starting to affect my mental and physical health, and I just don’t know where to begin to fix things. I’m honestly scared I drop dead of a heart attack thinking of how bad I’ve let things get.

I have a mortgage, and I really really cannot lose my home, it was my grandparents family home and it would kill me. As such, I’m keen to try to pay everything off myself and don’t want to go near bankruptcy etc. Also, I’m a professional and could lose my job through any public declaration of arrangements / agreements.

Our house is mortgaged in my own name, though my fiance lives with me (it's our house) and contributes £450/month towards bills & food. His son from a previous relationship stays with us a couple of nights per week. He knows I have a lot of debt, but I’ve never told anyone (or even admitted to myself) the extent of things til now - he asked me to explain how many cards etc I had to him and the scary thing is I didn’t even know myself. I’ve now worked it all out and I'm going to sit down with him tonight and talk it through, he said he will try to help as much as he can as we are in it together.

I am only now at a point where I am starting to struggle meeting minimum payments - my RBS credit card minimum payment has apparently changed to a ‘faster repayment’ plan as I’ve been meeting the minimum payments only for so long, so it’s increased by about £100 last month. Not sure if I can contact them about this?!

I missed my Barclaycard payment last month without realising, but then immediately paid it as soon as I got paid, and I’m about £30-50 overlimit on a couple of accounts, but I haven’t missed any other payments.

I’ve seen advice on here for newbies to start with an SOA… I’ve done two.

The first shows everything I ideally would like to have in my expenditure, including clothes, holidays, saving for emergency fund etc.

The second is accurate for the moment as to my budget. I have no savings or emergency fund, holidays to date have been flung onto cards, my mum and dad usually help me out with MOT and any unexpected emergencies, but I haven’t told them anything about how bad things are and really wouldn’t want to, they’ve already done so much for me, it would kill them to see the state I’ve gotten myself into. I manage month to month by paying minimum payments and then spending whatever is remaining on the cards again.

I currently commute a 50 mile round trip to work, which is why I’m spending so much on petrol. I am hopeful that if I got another job in my home city, it would be on a slightly higher salary and save me a lot of petrol money - I have a couple of interviews lined up. I could potentially sell my car in this scenario and clear a card or two to give myself a little breathing room.

Any advice much appreciated - I’m desperate.

Statement of Affairs and Personal Balance Sheet (IDEAL)

Household Information
Number of adults in household........... 2
Number of children in household......... 1
Number of cars owned.................... 1

Monthly Income Details
Monthly income after tax................ 1837.77
Partners monthly income after tax....... 0
Benefits................................ 0
Other income............................ 450
Total monthly income.................... 2287.77

Monthly Expense Details
Mortgage................................ 345
Secured/HP loan repayments.............. 0
Rent.................................... 0
Management charge (leasehold property).. 0
Council tax............................. 147
Electricity............................. 9
Gas..................................... 86
Oil..................................... 0
Water rates............................. 0
Telephone (land line)................... 0
Mobile phone............................ 20
TV Licence.............................. 13
Satellite/Cable TV...................... 66
Internet Services....................... 15
Groceries etc. ......................... 200
Clothing................................ 40
Petrol/diesel........................... 200
Road tax................................ 10.5
Car Insurance........................... 56
Car maintenance (including MOT)......... 50
Car parking............................. 0
Other travel............................ 20
Childcare/nursery....................... 0
Other child related expenses............ 0
Medical (prescriptions, dentist etc).... 12
Pet insurance/vet bills................. 33
Buildings insurance..................... 0
Contents insurance...................... 0
Life assurance ......................... 20
Other insurance......................... 10
Presents (birthday, christmas etc)...... 40
Haircuts................................ 40
Entertainment........................... 100
Holiday................................. 100
Emergency fund.......................... 50
Total monthly expenses.................. 1682.5


Assets
Cash.................................... 0
House value (Gross)..................... 115000
Shares and bonds........................ 0
Car(s).................................. 4500
Other assets............................ 2000
Total Assets............................ 121500


Secured & HP Debts
Description....................Debt......Monthly...APR
Mortgage...................... 95000....(345)......2.04
Total secured & HP debts...... 95000.....-.........-

Unsecured Debts
Description....................Debt......Monthly...APR
RBS Bank Loan..................16150.....426.......39
RBS Credit C...................5650......225.......17.45
Barclaycard Credit C...........5200......145.......18.9
Next Storecard.................100.......10........23.9
Capital One Credit C...........200.......10........30.34
Aqua Credit C..................800.......30........30.35
HofF Newday Credit C...........900.......50........34.08
Santander Credit C.............2600......70........18.9
MBNA Credit C..................2700......30........0
Total unsecured debts..........34300.....996.......-


Monthly Budget Summary
Total monthly income.................... 2,287.77
Expenses (including HP & secured debts). 1,682.5
Available for debt repayments........... 605.27
Monthly UNsecured debt repayments....... 996
Amount short for making debt repayments. -390.73

Personal Balance Sheet Summary
Total assets (things you own)........... 121,500
Total HP & Secured debt................. -95,000
Total Unsecured debt.................... -34,300
Net Assets.............................. -7,800

Created using the SOA calculator at Stoozing.
Reproduced on Moneysavingexpert with permission, using other browser.

Statement of Affairs and Personal Balance Sheet (CUTTING OUT EVERYTHING TO MAKE PAYMENTS)

Household Information
Number of adults in household........... 2
Number of children in household......... 1
Number of cars owned.................... 1

Monthly Income Details
Monthly income after tax................ 1837.77
Partners monthly income after tax....... 0
Benefits................................ 0
Other income............................ 450
Total monthly income.................... 2287.77

Monthly Expense Details
Mortgage................................ 345
Secured/HP loan repayments.............. 0
Rent.................................... 0
Management charge (leasehold property).. 0
Council tax............................. 147
Electricity............................. 9
Gas..................................... 86
Oil..................................... 0
Water rates............................. 0
Telephone (land line)................... 0
Mobile phone............................ 20
TV Licence.............................. 13
Satellite/Cable TV...................... 66
Internet Services....................... 15
Groceries etc. ......................... 200
Clothing................................ 0
Petrol/diesel........................... 200
Road tax................................ 10.5
Car Insurance........................... 56
Car maintenance (including MOT)......... 0
Car parking............................. 0
Other travel............................ 0
Childcare/nursery....................... 0
Other child related expenses............ 0
Medical (prescriptions, dentist etc).... 12
Pet insurance/vet bills................. 33
Buildings insurance..................... 0
Contents insurance...................... 0
Life assurance ......................... 20
Other insurance......................... 10
Presents (birthday, christmas etc)...... 0
Haircuts................................ 0
Entertainment........................... 0
Holiday................................. 0
Emergency fund.......................... 0
Total monthly expenses.................. 1242.5


Assets
Cash.................................... 0
House value (Gross)..................... 115000
Shares and bonds........................ 0
Car(s).................................. 4500
Other assets............................ 2000
Total Assets............................ 121500


Secured & HP Debts
Description....................Debt......Monthly...APR
Mortgage...................... 95000....(345)......2.04
Total secured & HP debts...... 95000.....-.........-

Unsecured Debts
Description....................Debt......Monthly...APR
RBS Bank Loan..................16150.....426.......39
RBS Credit C...................5650......225.......17.45
Barclaycard Credit C...........5200......145.......18.9
Next Storecard.................100.......10........23.9
Capital One Credit C...........200.......10........30.34
Aqua Credit C..................800.......30........30.35
HofF Newday Credit C...........900.......50........34.08
Santander Credit C.............2600......70........18.9
MBNA Credit C..................2700......30........0
Total unsecured debts..........34300.....996.......-


Monthly Budget Summary
Total monthly income.................... 2,287.77
Expenses (including HP & secured debts). 1,242.5
Available for debt repayments........... 1,045.27
Monthly UNsecured debt repayments....... 996
Amount left after debt repayments....... 49.27

Personal Balance Sheet Summary
Total assets (things you own)........... 121,500
Total HP & Secured debt................. -95,000
Total Unsecured debt.................... -34,300
Net Assets.............................. -7,800

Created using the SOA calculator at Stoozing.
Reproduced on Moneysavingexpert with permission, using other browser.

EDIT: To clarify, I do have home and contents insurance, it's covered under car insurance (£56/month) as it's a combined policy? Also TV includes broadband and home phone, as it's also a combined package, if that makes more sense?

Mnd

Sorry to hear about your problems, you have taken the first step which is the hardest

Looking at your SOA, The first thing I would suggest is your partner isn't contributing a fair share. 450 all in..bargain
You should ditch the satilite TV and forget about holidays for a while, as you have indicated in your second SOA
Also cut your clothes spending down

No water rates? Scotland?

Other people will come on here and talk further about charities such as stepchange will be able to help you and offer further advice

Good luck

Grumpelstiltskin

No buildings or contents insurance? These are a must have, way way more important than TV package.


I agree with Mnd partner should be paying more, you are subsidizing him.

jubilee14

Its good to see you've got support yes maybe help a bit more financially but if they are paying 50% of costs for mortgage/council tax/ food/utlilites then that would be fair, unless they have their own property and commitments?

Overall it looks to me a fair expenditure cuts here and there as mentioned will help. But i see the RBS loan seems to be whats really impacting you. Its almost 50% of your debt and repayment is it really 39% APR thats huge for a high st lender?

I was around the same debt level ( actually a bit higher ) 6 years ago. Have been on DMP with stepchange all the time didnt do self managed and had to hold payment twice during this time and they were fine. The only thing will be your mortgage see your on a fixed rate, if thats about to end would look to try and re-mortgage but maybe need to be with your current provider due to commitments to debt. Then that will mean you've got a good deal for the best part of any repayment plan you decide to take forward.

good luck.

CarbonImage

Sorry to read about your problems, but well done for taking the first step. I do think that talking to people about these things can help especially if they are unlikely to judge.

The first things that stood out to me were definitely the Satellite/cable TV and Internet - I pay £35 a month for Virgin cable TV and 100mb/s fibre broadband, and that feels excessive to me! Can you cut down your TV package or maybe even switch to Freeview and Netflix? Only £9.99 vs. £66 a month there.

Also your gas bill looks high, could you switch tariff or go on dual fuel and save? Obviously I don't know your house size and usage but I am in a 2-bed semi with the heating on about 4 hours a day during winter and am about to switch to paying £45 a month for dual fuel.

Obviously getting a better paid job closer to home would help a massive amount but don't try to put too much pressure on this as you may end up making yourself more miserable by taking a job you don't like to make ends meet!


Also I did notice that you don't have any buildings or contents insurance - is this not required by your mortgage provider? If not it would still worry me not having any cover, but it's your choice! Personally this would be the one thing I wouldn't advocate scrimping out on.

depressedatdebtdelilah

Thanks for the quick replies guys.

To clarify - I am in Scotland yeah, so water rates included in Council Tax, and I do have buildings and contents insurance, I've just lumped it in with the car insurance box as I have a joint policy - £56/month for car, home and contents. Also the satellite TV is TV, landline and broadband in a joint package.

Partner pays 50% of mortgage & household bills (which I worked out when we moved in at around £350 each,) plus meant to be £100 towards our £200 grocery budget? Bills have went up a little since then though so maybe need to reconsider this. He has offered to try and help me pay more towards my debt - whilst it's in my name, it's our house, he doesn't have his own separately, but obviously pays CSA for his son, and other personal commitments, so not sure how much he could contribute?

Willing2Learn

Hi depressedatdebtdelilah,

Since you do not appear to have the disposable income to repay your debts and to afford ordinary things such as home insurance, I would suggest you consider a Scottish specific plan such as a Debt Arrangement Scheme (DAS). Have a read up on it and see if you think it would help. There are other Scottish specific plans available too.

https://www.nationaldebtline.org/S/factsheets/Pages/debt-arrangement-scheme/das.aspx

And please get home insurance...

Unicorn_cottage

Lots of things you can do. Ditvh all the tv stuff and maybe just go with Netflix for a while. That's what we have done. We don't even pay the TV licence.

Have you got anything you can sell? Anything that is languishing in the loft etc etc. Just to get a bit of extra cash in to throw towards your debt.

Are you on the cheapest ultiliites provider - try the cheap energy club for advise.

Also could you take in a lodger?

FTBNow

Definitely get your partner to up his contribution. I'm all for individual bills and joint bills, and lumping so much into an account to cover the joint bills, but I assume he has some part to play in the debt too despite it being in your name? Could be wrong, just assuming some of it went on house stuff/holidays/etc

FTBNow

Is there an option to do as me and my partner do? Obviously it wouldn't be as much for you but we put circa £750 each in the joint account (our mortgage is just under double yours though). This covers bills, shopping and makes up a bit of savings too. Maybe if you could accumulate savings in that account you can then use that to knock some bills and balances on the head faster? I'm hopeless at saving in my own account most of the time, but I find with the joint account I'm much less inclined to spend the money.

117pauline

Hello there DDD

It must be a scary place you are in. It might be a strange thing to say but reaching rock bottom at Christmas is no bad thing.

Do you know how you accumulated the debt? Knowing where you overspend is one of the first ways of avoiding it in the future.

I am a firm advocate of using cash rather than cards to make any purchases as it really focuses the mind. Record everything and then you will see a pattern emerging. If you have a long commute, do you reward yourself with treats etc.

Tonight will be tough but your partner sounds as though he is going to be supportive and that's what you need. Be honest. What's done is done and now you can get a plan together.

Could you make yourself your 2019 project? Focus on little changes that will make an impact. Check all your utilities etc are at their cheapest. Menu plan. Make a plan!

Others I am sure will post regarding whether some sort of debt arrangement scheme is the best way forward.

I hope this evening goes well. Hopefully it will be your first steps to a debt free life.

Good luck, take care
Pauline