My mum is homeless.. advice needed

System

This is such a tough one. She is your mum which means you love her and want to support her. The truth is though you're enabling her behaviour and it's now impacting your life.

I think you need to be tough with her. Don't just change the locks, you need to put her straight. Get your key back and tell her you will not support this destructive behaviour anymore. Make it clear that she is only to enter your home or your car with your permission.

It sounds like you've been an amazing daughter but you need to think about yourself. Don't let her take advantage of your kindness anymore.

You can support her in other ways. Invite her over for dinner or offer wash her clothes a couple of times a week but don't let her back in.

Good luck!

Kitten868

How are you doing?

Feral_Moon

LadyDee wrote: »

Concerning Council Tax - whatever you do, get her mail stopped. This will be one thing the Council will latch onto to prove that she's living with you, along with the keys - got that lock changed immediately. You will be open to allegations of fraud and doubtless it is against your tenancy agreement to have another person living with you.

Can I ask how a council can find out if you have someone else's mail sent to your address, please?

Determined_diva

Hi all,

Just a long overdue update -
Currently my mum is no longer living with me and is either walking the streets or renting a air bnb/booking.com as and when she has money

I have passed one class that I could not do any more over to her before anyone else (£110 per month) and it is prior to another one of her classes so it helps her

I havent asked for the house key back. I am still in 2 minds, purely because of my cat. If she comes in when I am unaware, at the end of the day my cat benefits from company too. Am I being stupid here?

The car key I took back by "borrowing it as I lost mine", however the key then went "missing" from my bag and I conveniently saw her coming out of my car one morning when she was not expecting me (on a saturday at 7am) - I should have been strong enough to raise the issue but I didn't. Quite clearly, we have issues talking to each other I have realised. In short, she stole the key back. I am moving the car to another area as I cannot deal with confrontation even though I am in the right, and I am also considering some sort of therapy to talk to someone. It is a lot on my plate and I am not dealing with it well and maybe this alongside limited relationships in my 38 years, is down to me being a closed book. Hopefully it will help me grow some balls if I do go ahead with it.

She is covering one of my most well earned classes (£50) in 2 weeks time, but as she was "starving and feeling faint" I paid her this in advance. It now puts me £50 out of pocket as I don't have that money paid to me just yet. But it was my way of helping as I had to pay her at some point, however I feel that she text me to see how I was, with this ulterior motive... to say how hungry she was so I would give her money.

Any advice, appreciated.

DDx

Determined_diva

Thanks Kittens - I have just posted a long overdue update, Thank you for caring x