Stay with your parents, or rent?

Craigzeh

triathlon wrote: »

If you have not left home before 25 then there are some serious issues with you, I would not have my daughter marry a man who was 28 and having never left home

Glad you aren't one of my PiL.

I'm 25, turning 26 in a few months time, been with my other half for 10 years now, and she's lived with me and my mum and dads for about 8 of those.

We've only recently started to save earlier in the year and have been enjoying doing other things and experience prior to this. We've just put an offer on a place that we're moving into in the next few weeks. We're not sponging off my mum and dad, they have no issues with it, we pay towards costs etc. Do our own cooking, shopping, washing etc.

We wouldn't have been able to save a mortgage deposit with the cost of rent around Edinburgh so it entirely depends on circumstances.

To think you need to move out to learn to be independent is stupid though.

Mojisola

triathlon wrote: »

If you have not left home before 25 then there are some serious issues with you, I would not have my daughter marry a man who was 28 and having never left home

I think that depends on how the household works - if the 25+ year old still has his/her washing done by Mum and all shopping done and meals cooked and all other household work sorted out, I'd be concerned.

If the household is run as three or more adults sharing the space, the bills and the chores, then there's no difference to sharing a house with other people of the same age.

Sapphire

Well, I went and lived in a tiny room in my grandparents' small housing association flat and was there until around the age of 29. Nothing could have been further from my mind than buying property. I was far too busy having fun, enjoying life and jumping from job to different job (learning a lot in the process, and enjoying it), until I finally found the profession that suited me.

Unfortunately, people these days have been brainwashed into thinking owning a 'perfect HOUSE' is the be all and end all of all things, and that they must have it now, when they are still very young, often because they think it somehow gives them status. Better to experience life a bit before settling down, surely? I found that once I had a mortgage, my life did change quite a bit due to money being very tight (didn't receive help from family or anyone else), and also because I was doing things (not expensive ones, but more as a hobby, never very costly items, etc.) to the flat.

Still, each to their own.

Bellisima

I lived with my parents until I was 24. I did feel stifled by my Italian mother, much as I loved her, she was one bossy mama! My boyfriend and I then rented for a year and then bought our own home after that. However, rent and house prices were affordable then (1983) and we got a mortgage for 3 x the higher salary, plus 1 x the lower salary. The house cost £24,950 and we paid a £2000 deposit, a gift from my parents. My house is now worth about £375,000 (2 bed terrace) and totally unaffordable if we wanted to buy it now. My heart bleeds for young people today.

My 29 yr old niece rented for a while with her boyfriend, but it was unaffordable and after she split with her boyfriend she returned home. Her and her brother now live with their parents, without partners, and with no hope of affording to rent. Four adults in a pretty small 3 bed council house, not ideal, but what’s the alternative?

lookstraightahead

Would the kids be OK if the parents moved in to theirs to save money? Lol

tara747

Move out for sure! I love my folks but young adults need their independence. I know people who lived at home for too long and have never learned to budget. It's sad.

Percy1983

There isn't a right/wrong answer as it depends on the relationships with said parents and how that changes over time.

In my case both me and my now wife lived with parents until just after our 28th birthdays (there is only a month between us).

How did this work, in both cases we agreed with our parents how we would live involving financial contributions and things around the house etc.

Due to leaving school and working on low paid apprenticeships to develop careers in both our cases by the time we had an income to buy a house prices had shot out of reach.


With hindsight it might have been better to go straight into low paid work about bought not longer after leaving school (1999).

So as 2 separate people we are qualified early twenties but couldn't afford to buy as individuals. After a few failed relationships on each side we met at 23 and after a couple of years decided to move in together etc but then figured we where in it for the long haul so don't want to rent and pay somebody elses mortgage and don't want a tiny place as we had bigger plans.

So we saved for a few years (100% mortgages where long gone) and then bought a reasonable size family home, got married and now have a 3 year old son.

Funny thing is I was actually budgetting at my mum and dads (and still do) so buying a house and setting everything up was easy enough.

I can see for many reasons some people have to or want to move out at the earliest possible moment, but for many who can move onto an adult relationship with their parents it really doesn't course any issues.

Happier_Me

My children are 13 and 10 so a way to go before they think about leaving home I hope, but my very loose plan is for the kids to live with us for as long as possible so they have the opportunity to enjoy life whilst they save for their future. If they need to move away for uni or work then that's a different matter but they'll always be welcome to come back. They can obviously make their own way if that's what they want to do.

One of the advantages I see for my adult children will be that we may not be at home much anyway. If all goes to plan we will be retiring as they reach their early to mid twenties and then hopefully spending half the year abroad, so brother and sister can split the cost of (some) utilities and food and learn to live independently without the need for renting. I'd consider letting their partners stay too.

I moved out of my parents house at 23, but back in the day when a 5% deposit was the norm and before house prices rocketed. Bought my first house in the Midlands for £67k (a 3 bed detached) and sold it 9 years later for £167k (spent a bit on it though). Getting on the property ladder is much harder today so I'll do what I can to help them.

FTBlalala

Everyone's circumstances are different, my other half and I went straight to work from 16 and full time at 18. Saved and moved into rented for 2 years, decided we were happy living together but wanted our own place.

So we built a savings plan and asked our respective parents and when our tenancy was up we moved back home. (Him to his mum's, me to my parents - both houses too small to both live in one comfortably).

We both paid rent in line with our pay (him £70 pw and me £80pw) and we had independence in the family home too, we essentially lived like lodgers, bought our own food and did all our washing etc. I only mention this as I have friends who live at home to "save money" and don't pay rent, mum does all the washing and fills the fridge and they STILL moan about having no money!! Similar to a few other posts I have seen above.

2 years later we had £25k saved and at 24 we bought a £230k 2 bedroom maisonette in June this year (we live in the south not far from London so tiny 1 bed houses start at £260k, and new builds £300+!!)

Now we are all about that over payment game!

FTBlalala

lookstraight!! Funny you should say about parents moving in with kids!

While we were buying our place my parents were in the process of selling theirs and downsizing for early retirement. We finally got the keys and a month in they had issues lining up exchange for their place and the new place so we suggested they could sell their place and move in with us in the crossover period!

So yup, it can work the other way too