Suspended, and devastated

sangie595

ConnieC wrote: »

thanks for the reply.... I'm not looking at if something is 'actionable'or not - I just want to be able to go back to the job I love. I've always understood that bullying involved more than one incident, with some sort of intent meant - if an insensitive comment is taken as such, most of our department, including the line manager would be suspended every day.(I also suffered a great deal of constant and intended bulling myself many years ago in a previous career - I koved departments in the end) I'm pretty sure this will be cleared up, but I don't think I could continue working there in that atmosphere. I'm already job hunting


I really do appreciate everyone's replies - it is very useful to have an outsider's point of view.

Do not overreact. You are then doing the same thing that you are saying someone else has. Overreacting. You have no idea what has happened or why someone may have reacted badly to such a comment (assuming that's what this is about). Being suspended whilst an investigation takes place is not the end of the world. If the manager received a complaint, she needed to take it seriously. If you are going to leave just because your manager did her job, you're going to be leaving a lot of jobs. This may all blow over and turn out to be a storm in a teacup. On the other hand your reference right now might read "suspended whilst under investigation". Don't assume that walking is the best course of action.

Smodlet

Isn't it funny (?!) how bullies so seldom think what they are doing is bullying? It is always "harmless fun", "a throwaway remark", "a bit of banter" or the victim is "overreacting". I think the reason bullies so infrequently admit to being bullies is because they lack empathy so fail to realise the effect of their "throwaway remarks".

They are often themselves victims of what they do consider bullying... Which you would think would teach them not to inflict it on others but the abused so often become abusers in their turn.

Perhaps, OP, the colleague who failed to appreciate your attempt at humour might be awaiting the results of tests you know nothing about. They might have a health condition you know nothing about. They might have relatives or close friends with serious health conditions you know nothing about which has led them to be more aware than most of the potential dangers of minor injuries... Or they could just be overreacting or maybe they just don't like you; who knows?

Just trying to put a different perspective on things.

glosoli

Smodlet wrote: »

Isn't it funny (?!) how bullies so seldom think what they are doing is bullying? It is always "harmless fun", "a throwaway remark", "a bit of banter" or the victim is "overreacting". I think the reason bullies so infrequently admit to being bullies is because they lack empathy so fail to realise the effect of their "throwaway remarks".

They are often themselves victims of what they do consider bullying... Which you would think would teach them not to inflict it on others but the abused so often become abusers in their turn.

Perhaps, OP, the colleague who failed to appreciate your attempt at humour might be awaiting the results of tests you know nothing about. They might have a health condition you know nothing about. They might have relatives or close friends with serious health conditions you know nothing about which has led them to be more aware than most of the potential dangers of minor injuries... Or they could just be overreacting or maybe they just don't like you; who knows?

Just trying to put a different perspective on things.

Beware of the snowflakes who seek offense where none is intended.

BrassicWoman

glosoli wrote: »

Beware of the snowflakes who seek offense where none is intended.

And the bigots who like to pretend they aren't.

[Deleted User]

BrassicWoman wrote: »

And the bigots who like to pretend they aren't.

That makes no sense at all.

sangie595

camelot1971 wrote: »

That makes no sense at all.

Of course it makes sense, if you have a clue what you are talking about. It means dressing up hate crimes and offensive comments as being ok because it was only "banter". Or as "free speech". Or whatever the latest excuse for being a bigot is.

annandale

Be careful what you could pick up? That doesn't even make any sense. But sorry. Suspended for that? A piece of nonsense. I've managed staff (and I have been very badly bullied in more than one job) and there are better ways to deal with this situation than this in my view.

The person who injured herself could have a serious health condition or have a relative who has? Hence the reaction you mean?

People react how they react. But I have seen people suspended and go through months of stress when a simple conversation could sort things out.

Op, join a union. As soon as possible. Sounds like you might need one.

elsien

How self aware are you?
People rarely complain after one incident unless it's a biggie or there's something else going on.
It is possible that your colleague has observed a pattern of behaviour and this is the final straw. They may be misinterpreting. Your manner may be upsetting people. It is possible for people to claim little awareness of how they are impacting on others. It may be neither of these.
Just something to think about.

jobbingmusician

(Just for balance - it is also possible that this IS a snowflake, and that the investigation might end when other colleagues comes forward and say the complainant was also upset about something innocent THEY had said.)

xapprenticex

Whats a snowflake?