DMP mutual support thread part 13 !!

sourcrates

TheWickerMan said:

I stopped all payments from 01 December and had initially stated that I plan to start a DMP from 01 May. EF building hasn't gone quite as well as I'd hoped, so currently plan is to start DMP from 01 June. I'm assuming 1 additional month shouldn't make much of a difference? None of them have defaulted yet anyway and I'm not replying to correspondence.

Anyway, my main question is how long does setting up the DMP with Stepchange tend to realistically take from beginning to end, assuming I complete my side of things promptly? If I want payments to start from 01 June, should I start the process beginning of May or even earlier? 

Many thanks

Why not just wait until your accounts have been sold on ?

Stepchange will spring into action fairly quickly, that won’t be an issue, make sure your ready.

Willing2Learn

Headabovethewater said:

Our first 30 days is coming to end soon after 1st hold letter.  Asked for 60 days hold as off sick, most responded with 30 days freeze and some not heard off at all.   Do you send another one out just before the 30 days is up? Or just later when ready to make offer payments? I'm hoping to stretch it to the 6 months for hubby's tax bill and the emergency fund.  Felt very weird missing payments for the 1st time!

Headabovethewater said:

Ok so I obviously messed up sending hold letters, business debtline advice.  So just sit on hands and wait a few months now then? Maybe send a - dmp will start in xx date letter in a few months? First month in saving ef fund, hoping to save another 5 months before starting payments. Then nearer the time do you send a letter offering xx amount and asking for payment details? (As in how I actually make said payment)  Thank you for all the advice and help much appreciated.

I always recommend that when people are planning to hold things for six months, they write to their creditors letting them know your plan.  You don't need to keep sending out letters.  Just the one.  If it makes you feel more comfortable, give them a scheduled DMP start date DD/MM/YYYY.

Building an EF is just one of the reasons why a six-month holding period is suggested.  The other principal reason is so that your creditors default all of the accounts.  It seems crazy, but for a DMP, a default is good news. 

You can contact your creditors whenever you like so that you can ask for their bank details so that you can set up your Standing Order payments.

originalfool

ok, I am at my wits end, I owe 23k in debts, my partner suspects, I think, but it would be the end of us. I want to pay this back but am unsure how to include stuff in an soa without including their contribution, also I can’t have post coming here, any advice gratefully accepted. Thank You all.

Willing2Learn

originalfool said:

ok, I am at my wits end, I owe 23k in debts, my partner suspects, I think, but it would be the end of us. I want to pay this back but am unsure how to include stuff in an soa without including their contribution, also I can’t have post coming here, any advice gratefully accepted. Thank You all.

Hi originalfool and welcome to the forum    ( I see you have been 'lurking' on these boards for over 9 years without making a post).

You need to make a new DFW thread.  Please post up your SOA so that we can see your circumstances.  When completing the SOA, please remember to click on the 'format for MSE' button near the bottom of the form before you copy and paste into your thread.

You will find it very difficult to move forward financially without your other half finding out.  But the good news is that there are always options.  If you have a plan, then you may find it easier to speak to your partner.  It's good to talk 

[Deleted User]

Willing2Learn said:

originalfool said:

ok, I am at my wits end, I owe 23k in debts, my partner suspects, I think, but it would be the end of us. I want to pay this back but am unsure how to include stuff in an soa without including their contribution, also I can’t have post coming here, any advice gratefully accepted. Thank You all.

You will find it very difficult to move forward financially without your other half finding out.  But the good news is that there are always options.  If you have a plan, then you may find it easier to speak to your partner.  It's good to talk 

I tend to disagree with you for once, Willing2Learn.  We all have reasons in our relationships for not always doing things that everyone else seems to do.  Whilst I agree with you that it's good to talk  it isn't always the best option at all times for everyone.  I paid off over £40k of debt without DH knowing a thing about it.  They were my own personal debts and none of our financial set-up such as bank accounts was in joint names.  We were each responsible for paying certain utilities and other household expenses (split 50/50) and by robbing Peter to pay Paul I always kept on top of these payments.  It was my embarrassing and disgraceful credit card debts that I was in my DMP for.  My spending  so my responsibility to repay IMO.

DH and I are like chalk and cheese where spending and debt are concerned.  Apart from the mortgage (paid off 20 years ago) DH has never owed a penny in his life.  he is one of life's savers whereas I'm a spender.  It's only since becoming debt-free 18 months ago (without DH ever having an inkling about the journey and my eventual euphoria) that I've become a saving fanatic.

There were very serious reasons why i couldn't ever confess my situation to him.  It worked out for us and there's no reason why it shouldn't for the OP.   We never open each other's mail either so I knew there was never any danger of him seeing default notices and suchlike.  There was a minor problem of making sure my paperwork was filed away securely so he didn't come across something in error but everything was OK.  My DMP lasted for 5 years so it was a long time to keep up the 'pretence'.  I'm not sure it would be sustainable for everyone but I feel quite proud of myself, in a strange kind of way, that I managed to pull it off.

Incidentally, in case anyone reading this is wondering if we are dysfunctional,DH and I are a very happily married couple who have been so for almost 50 years.   

EDIT:   Ooops!  Wishing my life away there.  I meant 40 years not 50

re123

I think the above post really shows there is no right or wrong to who should/shouldn't know about financial issues. Yes in an ideal world you'd always be 100% transparent with finances and everything else in life but that's not always possible. Yes I'm sure there will be responses saying if you aren't being 100% honest don't be married etc, but the world isn't black and white and people sometimes need to understand the deeper impacts.

Personally I did tell my wife about my debt issues but was scared out of my mind as I was in the same place 15 years ago, I haven't gone into finite detail around the amounts, but she knows what will happen and how much we'll have each month, it's significantly more than now so it's not a problem

People need to do what's best for them, if you can talk to someone it will help, it'll feel like a weight off, but the above post also shows you can deal with it yourself.

Maybe have the conversation, say you've run into debt issues, you've done X y and z to resolve and this is how it will look each month, showing your taking responsibility and have put a plan into place?

Willing2Learn

Delichon said:

I tend to disagree with you for once, Willing2Learn

I actually disagree with myself too.  I was being over-simplistic and generalising with my assertion that it is "good to talk". 

Debtfreeat50

originalfool said:

ok, I am at my wits end, I owe 23k in debts, my partner suspects, I think, but it would be the end of us. I want to pay this back but am unsure how to include stuff in an soa without including their contribution, also I can’t have post coming here, any advice gratefully accepted. Thank You all.

I was in a similar position and reached out to one of the free debt advisory services. They have recommended a DMP and it is based on just my income. I have just halved the billl's and mortgage etc. I made my decision on 6th January and missed all my card and loan payments last month. I can honestly say that I have had no phone calls and only a couple of letters. The advisory service have handled everything. I feel so much more hopeful about the future

re123

Debtfreeat50 said:

originalfool said:

ok, I am at my wits end, I owe 23k in debts, my partner suspects, I think, but it would be the end of us. I want to pay this back but am unsure how to include stuff in an soa without including their contribution, also I can’t have post coming here, any advice gratefully accepted. Thank You all.

I was in a similar position and reached out to one of the free debt advisory services. They have recommended a DMP and it is based on just my income. I have just halved the billl's and mortgage etc. I made my decision on 6th January and missed all my card and loan payments last month. I can honestly say that I have had no phone calls and only a couple of letters. The advisory service have handled everything. I feel so much more hopeful about the future

Did you have many creditors? And did you send out holding letters? I need to do mine this weekend, but can't say I'm looking forward to it!

Debtfreeat50

I used Tully who are an free advisory company funded by creditors. Lots of people use Stepchange. They have sent out holding letters and offers for me. Everything is handled electronically so pretty speedy to set up too.