DMP mutual support thread part 13 !!

Willing2Learn

smallie210 wrote: »

Hi everyone i was in a DMP with Stepchange. I decided to stop my payments a few months ago in the hope that my creditors will default my accounts with them

The debt status I have with PayPal will change from Active to In arrears in next month's credit report. I could be wrong but I think this is a good thing. And hopefully they will soon default my account

The account I'm worried about is lending stream who use CRS , a debt collection agency. They haven't defaulted my account yet. It's still listed as being in arrears since July. They are starting to chase for the outstanding balance I have. They sent text messages last week and I just got a missed call from them.

Is this worth getting worried about? I really want them to default my account as I'm not in a good financial position and once they do I hope to make f&f settlement offers once I have more money saved up . I'm just starting to worry that if I avoid their messages and phone calls, they may knock on my door

Thanks a lot for any replies

How old are the accounts? As it may be worthwhile submitting CCA requests for each eligible account. A CCA request will mean your creditors will have to provide you with compliant paperwork for each eligible account. Until the paperwork has been provided to you, the accounts become unenforceable.

FYI, you can ignore text messages and phone calls. The only type of correspondence that requires a response is a letter received via Royal Mail. I would block their number to stop nuisance calls and texts.

Time_To_Change

Hi all hope everyone had a good xmas. Just after a bit of advice. I had a call from Tesco bank a couple of weeks ago to say my 2 accounts are due for review. I told them I would send out an updated SOA and payment offer which i done straight away. They said my account has been put on a 30 day hold while i sort this out. I have yet to hear anything back from them and was wondering if I should still make my regular payments I have been making for the last year which will be due tomorrow or should I just wait to hear back from them before making any further payments? It would obviously be nice to have the extra money spare after xmas but I am not sure on how it works with a review. Just wondering what other peoples thoughts/experience is with this. Many thanks.

julies123

Hello everyone,
Hope you are all ok and having good christmas. It is so long since I posted on here.
I am feeling very down at the moment, and just need to write it down.
My dmp is going along ok, think its been around 18 months, all creditors are happy with my payments, another 8 years to go!!.
The thing im struggling with at the moment is my partner doesnt know, I wont tell him as I know it will be too much for him, its my debt so he doesnt need to know. He has a awful temper although I love him, I just cant tell him, it will upset him so much, and I worry he would do something stupid to himself.

I know some of you will understand this, think it is carboot crazy? who is in similar situation.

He thinks I have savings but before I started the dmp I paid most of it towards debts which he didnt know about.

He is starting up a new business venture and I have given him some money to purchase stock etc, but I know that next week he is going to need some more and I dont have any. We have been together for over 20 years and I know the money will come back within a couple of months so I have no problem with that, but I only have a small amount left and if I give him what he needs it will leave us totally broke. ie 0 money.

I am waiting for some inheretence money to come in but thats going to be a couple of weeks away.

The whole thing is making me feel so sick, and so very low. I just cant tell him, I know it would be over for us if I did, as he would never trust me again.

I have been thinking some very low thoughts, that I never thought I would think, :-(

I am thinking im going to have to leave him a note and just go live in my car or something, as I cant face him, or the arguments that would follow.

I few years ago I know of someone who did something similar over money she just left and slept rough for a while.

I know that im not going to find the answer on this forum, but I just feel I need to tell someone.
Im sorry to be all doom and gloom x

Willing2Learn

julies123 wrote: »

I have been thinking some very low thoughts, that I never thought I would think, :-(

I know you have said you cannot, but I think you have to tell him. You can update him with all the progress you have made in repaying your creditors. Give it a 'positive spin'


Why would you tell him? Well, because you have entered into a partnership with him that has lasted all these years. I'm hoping that it is a loving and caring partnership, one where you can share the difficult times as well as the good times...

julies123

Willing2learn thank you for taking time to reply. You made me cry with your kind words, you are so right.
It sounds so easy, and I would be saying the same to someone else. But it is so difficult, I think it would be the end for us, and I just dont think he could cope,.
I dont think I can face telling him, as I feel I have betrayed him.
Cant believe I am in this situation it is just awful.

Willing2Learn

julies123 wrote: »

Willing2learn thank you for taking time to reply. You made me cry with your kind words, you are so right.

I have a 'special ability'. I make people cry all the time. It is what I do...

julies123 wrote: »

It sounds so easy, and I would be saying the same to someone else. But it is so difficult, I think it would be the end for us, and I just dont think he could cope,.
I dont think I can face telling him, as I feel I have betrayed him.

If you just 'disappeared', then how do your think your partner of 20 years would feel? Maybe, he would be lost without you...I think you have to give him a chance to support you...to share your pain...and to share your fear...

pingthelightison

Ok so I've ad my light bulb moment and have started looking at a DMP. I think I am going do a self managed DMP but have a few questions:


1) I can see people recommend an emergency fund - how much do people recommend as I have an opportunity to get one before I start my DMP
2) I have a current account with Starling - is this ok to or am I better off getting a "basic" account as this doesn't reveal the balance?
3) I can't change my direct debits for a few days due to bills coming out - should I cancel the credit card DDs now or wait?


Thanks in advance



Eeek......scary times ahead!

sourcrates

pingthelightison wrote: »

Ok so I've ad my light bulb moment and have started looking at a DMP. I think I am going do a self managed DMP but have a few questions:


1) I can see people recommend an emergency fund - how much do people recommend as I have an opportunity to get one before I start my DMP
2) I have a current account with Starling - is this ok to or am I better off getting a "basic" account as this doesn't reveal the balance?
3) I can't change my direct debits for a few days due to bills coming out - should I cancel the credit card DDs now or wait?


Thanks in advance



Eeek......scary times ahead!

Hi,

EM up to you, as much as you can save really, do you have debts with starling bank ? Never bank where you have debt when entering debt management.

You should stop all payments to credit debts to save your EM.

fullofcold

julies123 wrote: »

Willing2learn thank you for taking time to reply. You made me cry with your kind words, you are so right.
It sounds so easy, and I would be saying the same to someone else. But it is so difficult, I think it would be the end for us, and I just dont think he could cope,.
I dont think I can face telling him, as I feel I have betrayed him.
Cant believe I am in this situation it is just awful.

Tell him exactly what you have told us. My husband was ashamed of the debt that he had got into. It was pre-me but he was still ashamed. He was worried how I would react but the reality is that it can be dealt with, and you have acted responsibly and made great headway. Problems are only solutions in disguise xx

fullofcold

I just want to wish everyone a happy new year, and thank you all for your help this year. As long as everything goes through alright we will be in a position to repay my husbands DMP in full in 2020.

To everyone going through this process at the moment, good luck. Everyone here is very helpful and not judgemental.