DMP newbie and nervous...

kirstylauren

Hi all,

I am new here on this forum and I have just started to take hold of my debts.
I am a student and only 21 but I foolishly got myself into £6000 of debt due to me being irresponsible and my mental health. I have really struggled paying of my credit cards, catalogs, overdrafts and foolish payday loans that I only recently took out.
No one knows about my debts, not even my boyfriend of three years who I live with. ( I feel so guilty about this but he's so clever with money and if he knew he would be so upset, especially because ive kept it a secret.)

It got too much for me the other week where I am avoiding all my loans because I can't afford a single payment at the moment until payday and student loan day. The letters go to my mums address which is silly but helps me keep it secret and avoid the problem.
But last week I applied for a Debt Management plan with StepChange which has lifted a black cloud of my shoulders. Im only in the first stage, StepChange have everything from me and we have spoken on the phone and they will be contacting creditors for me in the next week.

Im curious how the credit company's accept this. Some are payday loans I only took out a few weeks ago, will they allow me to go into a DMP as its such new debt.
Ive done the steps and have got a new bank ect.
I really just need some support and words of encouragement. Im going to hopefully be paying around £200 a month which is a lot but manageable and it should take just about 2 and half years. The idea is I will let my boyfriend know later on , once Ive got all off this under control.

How has everyone got on with DMPs, am I doing the right thing? I have dealt with this horrid debt all by myself. Its been so hard and Its affected my health sooo much. Even my education has suffered massively.

Hope to hear some encouraging words of advice

Kirsty

Willing2Learn

Hi and welcome to the forum Kirsty

A DMP is simply a new monthly budget that allows you to repay your debts at an affordable rate. Without a DMP the monthly outgoings would otherwise be unaffordable and unsustainable.

And yes, you are doing the right thing. It takes the weight off your shoulders and gives you a psychological boost too, knowing that you have a monthly budget that is working. Have you approached your University for support with any ongoing mental health issues? They can be super supportive you know.

And if I was you, I would tell my boyfriend everything that has been going on. You should feel proud that you have tackled your problem with success. You should share how good that feels with him...

[Deleted User]

Hi,

Didn't want to read and run

First of all, welcome to the forum and well done on posting.

I know you don't want to tell your OH, but if you told him it the weight of the debt will lessen and although he may be annoyed initially, if he truly loves you, he'll help you.

Your debt isn't massively high, so good on you for wanting to get it sorted now.

Why not post a SOA and the lovely people here will pop on and give you some pointers to help you cut back.

Good luck x

stripeyfox

Hi Kirrsty. Well done. You've taken your head out of the sand so to speak and made the first steps. You're still young, the debt isn't so huge that it's going to take years and years to pay off. But I do think it is better to talk to your boyfriend and tell him everything. He may be shocked and hurt to start with but you need to work together on this. I guess one day you may want to buy a house together and this is likely to come out in the wash then. So you must try and find the courage to tell him. I understand why you don't want to (I had loads of hidden debts from my wife) and it requires a large amount of courage to face up to it - because I guess you feel like you are putting your entire relationship on the line by owning up, yes? I certainly did. But the situation could not remain hidden. Now we are working together and we openly discuss money and view our budget and accounts on a weekly (sometimes daily!) basis so we know where we are. Your boyfriend may be hurt and shocked but if you pledge to ensure that you don't get into this mess again, and you work together to decide what you can and cannot afford then I'm sure it will be ok.

x

-taff

I would also suggest reading the claiming back payday loan thread and see if any of the information in there is useful to you. As a student, you have no income, so they shouldn't have lent you any money.

RMJ20

Couldn't read and walk away having been in your situation. Well done for getting it under control. Step Change are brilliant and will do everything they can to help you. But please talk to your boyfriend. If you think you feel relieved now, wait until he knows, it will feel so much better! And you don't want to be keeping secrets, it's not a good basis for a relationship. Good luck!

tallyhoh

I recommend you tell your partner. As my OH has time & time again got into secret money problems, I can tell you that its not the money thats the problem but the secrecy, dont keep this to yourself!

Suseka97

Hi KL :hello:

Firstly, well done for taking this first step to sort out your debt problem - it's never easy, but you've made the right decision. I agree with W2L in that you should seek out support from your university's student support services for your mental health issues. I work at a uni and we've a great team who help our students with all sorts of issues and you could mention your financial situation, which might also help you through this journey - so worth reaching out. It's very important that this doesn't impact on your studies.

As for your creditors and the payday lender in particular - whether they choose to accept the DMP or not is neither here nor there. They cannot have what you can't give and Stepchange will just go ahead and pay them whatever the plan determines is an appropriate amount from your monthly payment.

Also pop over to the DMP mutual support thread - you'll find lots of great advice, information and support there.

Good luck.

System

As others have already said, access your university's support services. My university offered free counselling on campus.

Also, post a SOA on here. Changes you make now to your spending and savings will prevent you making the same money mistakes in the future.

MottledDebt

Well done on getting to grips with it. I was the same as you, Student, debts, didn't tell the partner. It is such a heavy weight lifted to have the DMP in place.

I would reflect on the advice offered here about telling your partner. I did and it wasn't as bad as I expected. It really is more the secrecy thats the issue. Also, you said he is good with money, so that is an invaluable resource you have available to you!