Never too old to learn

jools1985

You know when you wish you could turn back the clock and not be so stupid? Well that's how I'm feeling right now.


I have around £56,000 in unsecured debt which is truly shameful. It's all on credit cards and it built up purely by my own stupidity. I had a gambling addiction which I am so ashamed of and ran up many thousands of pounds of debt to feed my addiction. My last bet was almost 9 months ago and I really feel that with the help of Gamblers Anonymous I've kicked the habit this time. The only person who knows about this (other than people who may read this diary) is my lovely partner (we don't live together but I am waaay to old to have a boyfriend ) who I confided in last December. His support has been amazing, he could have walked away from me but he didn't.



The debt is not all down to gambling I've also been too free and easy in booking holidays and going out with friends.



I have a very significant birthday coming up frighteningly soon, when I'll be 60 and I hope to retire in 6 years time when I'll pick up my state pension.



I've well and truly had my LBM and phoned Stepchange this morning. As everyone on here says it does feel like a weight has lifted from me but at the same time I feel really quite sick with the worry of the next few months and dealing with creditors.



The lady on the phone said I should ring all the creditors and tell them I'm dealing with Stepchange. Well I'm too much of a scaredy cat to do that so I've written to them instead. Letters to post tomorrow. I have actually written to them all in longhand - using my very best writing, tongue just sticking out of the side of my mouth in concentration. I don't have access to a printer other than at work, and I'd be mortified if anyone I work with saw anything on a printer - they are notorious for jamming and I was catastrophising about the letter being caught up and seen by someone else.


My debt free date should be in 5 years and 11 months time - eek 1 month before retirement, talk about cutting it fine. In reality I'm hoping it will be way before then as my mortgage only has 22 months (and payments) to run. When that is repaid I'll have an extra £768 a month to save or pay off my debts.



So here goes day 1 of my new more sensible and hopefully calm life - at least once I've got over the hurdle of the DMP being set up and dealing with the creditors. A diary seems like a good way to keep me focused on the task in hand.



Sorry about the long ramble

Buffythedebtslayer

Not a long ramble at all.

Welcome to diary land, sounds like you have a plan - I LOVE that you wrote the letter by hand, how brilliant, i would have done the same and worried about the printer at work!

Keeping posting

XXXXX

jools1985

Buffythedebtslayer wrote: »

Not a long ramble at all.

Welcome to diary land, sounds like you have a plan - I LOVE that you wrote the letter by hand, how brilliant, i would have done the same and worried about the printer at work!

Keeping posting

XXXXX

Thank you. I rarely post any letters these days let alone a hand written one!



I love your name by the way

jools1985

I posted the 'breathing space' letter to creditors today. Still worried about what will happen next.



I have not missed any payments to any of my credit cards (or anyone else - ever) but the interest being charged is just making life so difficult and causing me anxiety robbing Peter to pay Paul. I've been hoping for 0% offers for ages without any luck. Sods law then that on the day I send off my pleas for breathing space I receive an email from Santander offering me 0% for 12 months!

jools1985

Today I received another 0% balance transfer offer from Creation who have also increased my credit limit. The pre DMP me would have jumped on that offer but not this time. I expect they'll retract that sharpish when they get my breathing space letter. All very odd though when I've had no offers for over a year.

GlendaSugarbean

Sounds very fishy to me! Welldo e on sticking with your plan - you've got this :T

jools1985

Thank you Glenda. I know I can do this but also know it's going to be tough.

jools1985

Eek - 2 letters from preditors today about my cancelled Direct Debits, both 'inviting' me to make a payment to avoid late charges and telling me of alternative ways to pay. Am I brave enough to ring them in the morning? I have written to them and don't know if I can face calling them.

jools1985

My DMP pack has arrived from Stepchange today. I want to get everything sent off to them but then again I don't want to start paying for three months so I can build up an emergency fund. Not sure what the process is. I've asked for advice on the DMP mutual support thread.


Dropped my car off at my usual garage today for its MOT. Hope to God it won't cost a lot if anything needs doing to it. Nervous times!

DancingUnicorn

I'm not sure how to do it, but I know plenty of people have paused their DMP and I think SC actively encourage you to have an EF so I'm sure it'll be easy to do.

I was the same and sent off handwritten letters for fear of someone at work finding my letters! It all gets better and easier, I promise!

Fingers crossed for your MOT!

jools1985

Thank you DancingUnicorn. I had a text about an hour ago from MBNA asking me to make a payment to avoid late charges. I phoned them even though I was very nervous about doing so. The lady I spoke to was just lovely, said they'd received my letter and were initially giving me 30 days breathing space. She has upped that to 60 days for both accounts I have with them.



She also said the texts and emails are automatically generated and not to worry about them. I feel so much better for calling them but also feel quite tearful. I didn't expect such kindness and respect.


Still waiting to hear about the MOT.