Need help quick! Spiralling out of control!

Larumbelle

Okay, I'm maybe ignoring subtle hints to let it rest but I will post while it is fresh in my mind, you don't have to read it until later

Could you maybe write a letter if it is hard to speak face to face about the matter? It can hard to put things in black and white, and hard to read it, but I still think this is your greatest priority of all. Maybe get her to read this thread?

I think all of us here have been bad with money at some point, that is how we ended up here. But she does have to learn, and now is the time. I think the worst people with money end up being the best with it, because we learn its value the hard way. It sounds like she is scared of dealing with the debt more than she is of actually having and repaying it, if that makes sense. Money matters have to be learned just like anything else, anything that we don't understand seems scary.

There are poeple on this site who could help her polish up her CV, suggest she pop over to the employment and jobseeking board. There are also organisations that the jobcentre could put her in touch with that will help with the CV.

I really hope things work out. Keep posting and we will keep suggesting ways to help. But I think you have to actively include your OH in all of this effort. Partly becuase it eases the pressure on you personally, partly because it will help the both of you come out the other end of this.

Silv x

MoaningMyrtle

Hi, Just a quick thought, can your partner get her job reinstated if she lost due to alleged bullying/harassment? I assume the company investigated and took any necessary disciplinary action, to enable the aggrieved party to keep their job?

Also, how about getting a lodger for a few months? or moving temporarily out of the house and letting tenants pay the mortgage, maybe stay with friends or family?

In_Search_Of_Me

Just wanted to say hi & send a hug. I realy think that you both need to sit down and tackle this head on; doing that takes away the stress as you KNOW what your dealing with rather than worrying about what may be. Its also better to have somene like CCCS negociate for you BEFORE you get to the bailiffs stage because to shows that you want to manage rather than just pretending it isnt happening. Its not going to go away & the longer OH puts things off the worst it will get so please start looking at things now before it gets to the stage where you cant control what happens...:) I KNOW (from past experience) that its incredibly hard to face things but I know I felt so much better when I had...It sounds as if OH may be depressed or suffering from stress and it would be a good idea for her to see her GP about this...Thinking of you both. Big hugs.

catz1ct

How many miles do you travel to work?? Thats one hell of a petrol bill. Can you get to work any other way that might be cheaper?? Riding a bike, public transport?

Tbh you don't need to spend loads on someone for a birthday, i'm sure some flowers and a nice meal cooked at home by you would be good and it shows you put some effort into it.

susieh_2

Hi,

I really am sorry for the situation your'e in, we too have been there, and there will be light at the end of the tunnel, believe me.

I hate to ask this, but maybe the reason your oh is reluctant to talk to you about this is because she's not actually receiving any JSA. As far as I know if she's declared that she's living with someone who's earning what you are (regardless of your outgoings) she would not be entitled to any cash payments, but only her NI contributions would be paid, so she's having to continue using her cards etc.

I apologise in advance if this causes you more upset, it really, really isn't meant to.

Best of luck

Susieh

Larumbelle

Assuming that her NI contributions were up to date when she left work she would qualify for JSA (conts) for six months as that benefit is not means-tested. It's about £60 per month. However, that would be exhausted after six months.

You need to find out if she is claiming anything and speak to the jobcentreplus claims line - you might be surprised, she may be entitled to something. Don't ask = don't get.

I am 99% sure you will qualify for some working tax credit. Check it out here:http://www.taxcredits.inlandrevenue.gov.uk/Qualify/DIQHousehold.aspx

GettingThingsDone

Hi - definitely look into going contracting; google and speak to/email some agencies to find the rate that your skill-level could realistically get. There may not be any need to go abroad. I think a lot of them will do all the legal/tax stuff for you these days. If your skills are marketable then you could earn a considerable amount more than you are at present.

Good luck and keep posting!

gtd

alyn84uk

Hi, Just read replies, will reply to them later no time now unfortunately. Just got in.

Well this morning was a bummer, on my 60 mile round trip to work my car died on me! It started juddering upon acceleration then just came to a complete halt! Would not even start up. The petrol light was on but had only been on for 2 miles, usually i get well over 40 miles out of it before i fill up again!! Mind you the other night the fuel pump was making a horrific noise, so i suspect its this.

Anyway i spent today walking back to my house, a total of 16.5 miles. took me a little over 8 hours! What a bummer! Things just get worse! My legs now are like jelly.

I tried to ring the RAC but before i could tell them where i was my battery cut out on me! I was in the middle of nowhere. I knocked on the doors of at least 6 houses and nobody would let me use the phone!!

Just going with the OH in her car in a min with some fuel to see if that halps it, but i doubt it.

I'll keep on posting later.

Thanks,

Al.

dsljfreeman

Along the same line as silvercharming, you have to make your oh understand the level of debt you are both in and no amount of burying her head is gonna make it go away.

Sometimes you have to be cruel to be kind.

Have a look around the whole forum for ways to boost your income, the old-style board and my favourite - the freebies board

It's horrible having to face up to your debts but it's better to be realistic than ignorant - I spent the last year being ignorant and finally faced up to them last month.

hypno06

Sorry that you have had such a crappy day, 8 hrs :eek: Thank goodness it wasn't raining!

I hope your weekend improves for you.