Ex boyfriend borrowed money

slinkysquirrel

We broke up and I lent him £700 to move out, as we were living together. We ended things very amicably and remained friends until recently, when he started going on tinder. There was the agreement that he would pay me back £50 a month, plus anything extra he could afford until he!!!8217;s paid me back.

THIS IS NOT A JEALOUSY POST wanting my money back because he has a new girlfriend.

I need genuine advice because he has turned to being horrible and manipulative and I want to know if there!!!8217;s anyway I can get my money back because I work really hard and it has taken time to save up that money; I don!!!8217;t want to throw it away, and I wouldn!!!8217;t have given him it if I didn!!!8217;t think I would get it back, however, I feel like I am running out of options and that I am going to end up just calling it quits and ending up massively out of pocket.

[Deleted User]

slinkysquirrel wrote: »

I need genuine advice

You need to give genuine answers to the genuine questions about what evidence you have of the loan, before you decide whether to gamble on further action.

shortcrust

slinkysquirrel wrote: »

We broke up and I lent him £700 to move out, as we were living together. We ended things very amicably and remained friends until recently, when he started going on tinder. There was the agreement that he would pay me back £50 a month, plus anything extra he could afford until he!!!8217;s paid me back.

THIS IS NOT A JEALOUSY POST wanting my money back because he has a new girlfriend.

I need genuine advice because he has turned to being horrible and manipulative and I want to know if there!!!8217;s anyway I can get my money back because I work really hard and it has taken time to save up that money; I don!!!8217;t want to throw it away, and I wouldn!!!8217;t have given him it if I didn!!!8217;t think I would get it back, however, I feel like I am running out of options and that I am going to end up just calling it quits and ending up massively out of pocket.

I don't think anyone thought it was until you wrote that, and the bit about the break up being amicable until he started going on tinder.

It seems a few people are trying to give good advice. Answer their questions and help them to help you.

fibonarchie

slinkysquirrel wrote: »

I have not saved up to give my money away to charity cases.

He's gone bad on you. It happens. As people have said, have you got any proof that you lent him the money and he agreed to pay you back?

Can better advise you if you can clarify this.

AnotherJoe

Paul_DNAP wrote: »

I have to agree, you have 4 options
1. Chase him for the rest of it and hope you can convince him to do the right thing.
2. Write it off
3. Small claims (or other court proceedings if it's too big to be small)
4. Judge Rinder.

And (1) should be a letter, headed "Letter before Action" stating that he has X weeks to repay it after which time, you will start small claims court proceedings.

sourcrates

Hi,


You lent £700 to him to move out after your relationship broke down, so I am guessing no formal agreement was signed here, and you have no evidence of how and when this loan was to be repaid, except a verbal agreement between you.


Personally i would write off the money as its unlikely you will see any of it again.


But if you were compelled to take action against him, you would need to follow the civil procedure rules, send a letter before claim, try to come to a formal arrangement, if that fails, then a claim form is next, this can be done online at the money claim website.


There is a fee for this, and further fee`s for any further escalated action that may be necessary.


Its always a gamble with legal action, for example, if he were unemployed, living on benefits, and had no assets, then there would be no chance of recovering the debt.


On the other hand, if he`s working, has some assets, maybe a house, or car, then the chances improve dramatically.

Zero_Sum

LadyDee wrote: »

Why do we so rarely hear about boys lending girls money and not being repaid?

Move on, and don't EVER lend anybody money. GIVE it if you can afford to. If the friend pays you back it's a bonus, if they don't you're not disappointed.

I can tell you of one (sort of)

My gf 'friend' needed money & gf couldnt afford it so came to me.
I said no as I knew she was irresponsible & wouldnt see it again. After much badgering i agreed to lend gf who in turn would lend 'friend'

Surprise surprise, she's not had a penny back in 3 years and gf is too soft to either chase her or completely sack her off

fibonarchie

Zero_Sum wrote: »

I can tell you of one (sort of)

My gf 'friend' needed money & gf couldnt afford it so came to me.
I said no as I knew she was irresponsible & wouldnt see it again. After much badgering i agreed to lend gf who in turn would lend 'friend'

Surprise surprise, she's not had a penny back in 3 years and gf is too soft to either chase her or completely sack her off

wow.. so your GF is paying you back, but is out of pocket because this 'friend' of hers isn't paying her back.. I hope it wasn't a lot of money :eek:

Paul_DNAP

I tend to use the motto "never lend money to a friend, unless you are prepared to lose the money, or the friend, or both".

Icarus01

Paul_DNAP wrote: »

I tend to use the motto "never lend money to a friend, unless you are prepared to lose the money, or the friend, or both".

This. If it's not legally binding then don't go lending out money.