I feel like an outsider at work

ImaginaryBallroom

I work as a receptionist in a lively hotel in a city centre. I started working there as a housekeeper and a few weeks later progressed to reception. I’ve been with the company for six months now.

The majority of the people I work with are lovely. I get along with lots of people from different departments - the bar staff, the kitchen staff and my old housekeeping buddies. Most of the managers are really young so I feel like I can talk to them easily (I’m 22). However, I always feel like I’m missing out on something.

I frequently see photos on social media of my colleagues going out together (sometimes with the managers). They seem to have a lot of fun, and although many of my colleagues have my number and are connected to me on social media, I never get invited to any of these events.

This might sound petty, but I feel like I’m in a bit of a peculiar situation. Normally when people feel like an outsider at work, they’re being bullied or harassed. I feel isolated but I get on with my colleagues very well (mostly - you’ll always get the occasional disagreement in the workplace).

This fuels my paranoia that I’m not doing my job as well as I should be, and the managers don’t want to include me in any out-of-work activities because they know that I won’t be with the company for much longer. This is probably just me getting ahead of myself, but it’s still an uneasy feeling.

I don’t think I’m boring or bad company. I’m friendly to everyone and I reckon I have quite a good sense of humour! I’d really like to be seen as an out-of-work friend rather than just an in-work friend.

Has anyone else felt anything similar? Do you have any advice?

Oakdene

Could it be a case of people may not think to invite you because you're not physically there when the plans are made, because you're at your reception desk?


I.e. Dave from the bar says to his car colleague Tom "Fancy a few beers after work Friday?" then Tom invites a waiter, who in turn invites someone from kitchen when they see each other...



Perhaps you could say to a couple of members of staff when you see them together "anyone fancy a bit of a night out?" & see where it goes from there?

Takeaway_Addict

As Oakdene says....you invite some people you want to go out with for a drink after work or a few days in advance

JessyRM

As another poster has said you need to be proactive, they could just think you wouldn't be interested in coming along or as others have said not see you to invite you.

I'd ask them if they want to go for drinks or make a comment like 'Let me know next time your going to... looks like you had a fun night, not been there in ages' ect.

Don't work yourself up about it, I can't imagine your being excluded deliberately or it has any reflection on your work.
I had a useless employee, he was a great laugh so he would always join us for drinks his ability in the workplace didn't mean we didn't like him as a person.

Oakdene

JessyRM wrote: »

As another poster has said you need to be proactive, they could just think you wouldn't be interested in coming along or as others have said not see you to invite you.

Yes, this. We have a kinda set group of friends from our rugby team who go to the pub together quite often & have done for a while. We bumped into another player there one day & we said 'you're welcome to join us' which he did. We said to him we come out quite often but didn't think he was the going to the pub kinda guy. Needless to say he's one of the first to say yes when we arrange.

[Deleted User]

I did hotel reception for around 4 years in my early 20’s and can say what you are feeling is pretty normal - it is possibly because Reception is seem as a serious position - being customer attentive and in their front line, not messing up bills on check out, may get stuck working extra hours after shift or department cries of it he/she gets to go that isn’t fair that maybe why you is forgotten, they don’t want to get you in trouble - out of all the hotels I worked in my first and last (group) hotels were by far the most social able. I don’t think isolation is limited to hotels either and is not a reflection of you as a worker.

Some Employers now even do alcohol testing I’ve discovered, so if you have more then their limit and you chose to work next day and are tested as over then could be big trouble.

Whilst one for discussion time - the other day a discussion arose, was it best to work for a small or big company? for me the jury was out.

I leave a company of 600+ (Lots of different job roles) but still managed to do telesales on my tod. Apart from phone calls to members and a client on the email. When I was in the process of some of the recent interviews I did wonder how I would cope walking into a call centre of 20 odd, (fortunately it’s landed up as 4 to deal with) never mind the social aspect so I’ve decided to attend events that aren’t work orientated (ie our estate is having a bbq soon, ex workplace have invited me to Xmas do) to start building a life outside of work as another way.

ImaginaryBallroom

Thanks! That does make a lot of sense. A lot of the restaurant / waiting staff finish at 10pm, but my reception shift doesn’t end until 11. So often they’ll leave to go to the pub but of course by the time I finish they’ve been and gone.

eamon

Years ago I had a similar experience (not hospitality). The workplace largely shut at 1pm on Fridays and lots went to the nearest pub. My shifts changed and my Fridays changed to a 3pm finish. Of course I went to the pub as usual and it was empty. The end of socialising with work colleagues.