credit rating and HSBC

GeorgeUK

Get her a small spiralbound notepad for Christmas.

Tell her it's a spending diary and it's all you can afford.
Then duck

If she's online alot, it could be a gambling problem. The money's gone, that's no longer the issue but you need to get across to her how concerned you are about her - not the money.

Personally, i'd go for door in the face option.
Sit down and ask her if she's having an affair.
Hopefully she will look at you like you've lost the plot and tell you not to be so stupid.
Ask her if she's in trouble with anyone. Does she owe money to people? Is she taking drugs?

You need to get her to start communicating. Acknowledging the problem and what it is will be the first step to her being able to deal with it. You can support her, but she is the one that needs to deal with the problem and want to deal with it. Make sure she knows you're behind her 100% no matter what. If it's just a spending habit, that would be the best case scenario. Get her to look at this site and soon she'll have a saving habit

There's only so much you can do. Make sure your finances are in order and seperate from hers although don't make her feel like she's been left high and dry. The fact that she's had bad debt before shows there is a problem. You need to work through it together, but she has to take that first step - and more importantly she needs to want to make it.

Sorry i can't advise more.
Once things are a little more settled, try posting up a SOA and we'll see if we can cut down the debt - or at least the amount of interest you're paying on it. First priority is to make sure one of you retains a decent credit rating.

good luck
George

purpledelly

Just looking back in and wondering how you got on with the bank today

I'd be a bit worried about the fact that you can't tell what she's spent the money on and she won't tell you. I don't know a lot about gambling, but it does sound a little like that might be it if there's really nothing concrete to show.

I really feel for you especially as it seems that you can't get through to her at present.
If you REALLY can't get through to her I think you probably need to have a good think about how to distance yourself and protect your children and then somehow make her face the debts on her own - it may be the only way...

Let us know how it goes.

Hannu

purpledelly wrote: »

Just looking back in and wondering how you got on with the bank today

I'd be a bit worried about the fact that you can't tell what she's spent the money on and she won't tell you. I don't know a lot about gambling, but it does sound a little like that might be it if there's really nothing concrete to show.

I really feel for you especially as it seems that you can't get through to her at present.
If you REALLY can't get through to her I think you probably need to have a good think about how to distance yourself and protect your children and then somehow make her face the debts on her own - it may be the only way...

Let us know how it goes.

The bank said that she has A1 credit and an excellent customer !!!! of course she is their making a fortune out of her.

Their policy states that they don't look externally for credit rating and don't even look at borrowing from within ie the re mortgage that paid off her first debt of £30000.

So they looked at my account which was fine, looked at the joint account that I keep which was also fine, then gave her £7500 worth of credit

The fact that both her accounts are over the limit and interest through the roof its excellent business for them.

Joint account closed.

Ombudsman written to !!! :mad:

purpledelly

Thanks for letting us know.
It is terrible isn't it - banks are vulchers :mad:.

I would advise you to try and sort this out a bit more with your wife though because no matter how irresponsible the banks are for allowing her the credit, they aren't taking her by the hand and MAKING her spend the money - you can't fix it unless you get to the bottom of that.