The Piano Diary

South_coast

Sorry to hear about DS. Good that he has been able to get a diagnosis though, and that he has the two of you to support him emotionally x

family355

Just wanted to stop by to pass on some virtual hugs for you and your family. It’s so brave of your DS to feel he can now be open and share his struggles with you. That’s a huge step to take. Great news he is now getting the right support from professionals to help him and assist you ❤️ 

The 3k can always be OP at a later date, 30+K must be a great place to be 🙂

savingholmes

Sorry your DS is struggling. Hope he recovers soon. Might be worth investing in counseling

ElmoR

Sorry to hear about your DS. Same as savingholmes said - see if his workplace offers counselling sessions, some do for a limited number of sessions and it would be quicker than waiting for ones referred by GP. Hope things get better.

glass_half_full

Thanks @South_coast, @family355, @savingholmes and @ElmoR for your supportive comments and suggestions. I did wonder just after I posted my comment if I was oversharing, this is a finance website after all. On the other hand this has been a big focus for us recently and it felt inauthentic to not mention it. Thanks for the suggestions about counselling, I am encouraging him to get the help he needs.  

savingholmes

Not over-sharing. Anonymous. Mental health has been the biggest negative impact on our finances - they are very much inter-linked.

glass_half_full

Dear diary and all,

Things have moved on with DS. He has gone to stay with his GF for a while. Not sure how long to be honest and he has stopped with his teaching practice although continuing with the academic side of the course. OH is worried about the situation which is understandable. Not sure how much the whole pandemic/lockdown thing has contributed to this. We want to help him set up as an independent adult. The first step on that journey is to get launched in some kind of job/career and we were hoping that that was going to be teaching. If that isn’t going to be the case, we are both concerned about what he will do. There’s only so much worrying about that we can do though so all we can do is support him through this.

This situation has thrown many things up in the air for us for some reason. Wondering what we want to do ourselves, job wise, house wise etc etc. I think I may be too old for a mid-life crisis, maybe this is a late mid-life crisis!

I feel really burned out job wise. I told my line manager I want to relinquish my current leadership role. We all do roles in addition to our day jobs. These roles are supposed to rotate every 3-4 years and I have been doing mine for 5 years in the summer so it is time for a change. This last year has been crazy and covering for people who have gone off sick or left. Each time I go to my line manager for help he says there is no more resource available. I feel like I need a break or a pause so I can think through what to do next. Mustn’t do anything too hasty or knee jerk, but I feel like maybe going part time or something may be the answer. I have spoken to OH, and she is happy with this as she likes her job. We’ll see. My sensible head says, keep going for just 2-3 more years when the mortgage will be gone and the pension will be almost at the point of being able to go.

The mortgage is now at £37,500. I am saving the OPs right now and by the end of the month we will have £5K saved. I’m keeping this back for now in case I need it for one of the several reasons such as helping DS, moving house etc etc.

Saw this Woody Allen quote kind of sums up how I feel : "If you want to make God laugh, tell him about your plans."!

caeler

I remember not being sure what I wanted to do but I knew I needed to earn money to pay bills. I tried a couple of things and something stuck, I studied for qualifications and the rest as they say is history! There is lots of work around at the moment in loads of different industries so a great time to try stuff out. Try not to be too anxious just yet. 

I agree with not knee jerking about your job. Last week I felt like I wanted to leave, which would be silly as I do like it and have a wonderful job. But it’s been hard and stressful and that isn’t going to change anytime soon. Definitely speak to your boss or friends/family so you aren’t doing it alone. 

glass_half_full

caeler said:

I remember not being sure what I wanted to do but I knew I needed to earn money to pay bills. I tried a couple of things and something stuck, I studied for qualifications and the rest as they say is history! There is lots of work around at the moment in loads of different industries so a great time to try stuff out. Try not to be too anxious just yet. 

I agree with not knee jerking about your job. Last week I felt like I wanted to leave, which would be silly as I do like it and have a wonderful job. But it’s been hard and stressful and that isn’t going to change anytime soon. Definitely speak to your boss or friends/family so you aren’t doing it alone. 

Hi Caeler,
Thanks for this. These are wise words, and are really helpful. 

glass_half_full

Dear diary and all,

We have made it to the bank holiday weekend. Sitting with a beer and listening to some music, this is all I need. Nothing exciting planned. We have booked lunch on Monday at a pub we like which is about 2 hours walk away. The walk goes through some lovely countryside and along a canal so we will walk there and back on Monday and enjoy a lunch out. We may visit a garden centre at some point over the weekend and buy some pots for the patio in the back garden, it will nice to have some colour.

DS came to stay with us for the weekend before last. It was nice to see him and his GF. We are still worried about them but the emotional turmoil seems to have settled down a bit.

I have a visit booked to see my Mum the week after next. I actually can’t remember when I last saw her, that is how long it has been. My brother has been visiting her but the home would only allow one relative, I understand why. I need to get a test before I go. I have booked a B&B nearby, it is a long way so that will break up the journey.

This week I stopped to buy petrol on my way back from my running club. The guy in the garage says to me, “Do you realise that your MOT has expired?”. Apparently they can run a check on your registration. I checked when I got home, it expired in November 2020. I can’t quite believe that this happened. The car didn’t need an MOT when I bought it because it was relatively new. I have only had to have it MOT’d once I guess I just lost track, maybe because we have done so little driving during the pandemic. MOT is booked for next week.

We have both been paid and the money shuffle completed. We now have £4500 set aside in the nominally OP account. I’m going to keep this money set aside for now. May need some of it to help DS, not sure how, but something is telling me to be ready to do that if needed.