Advice on working away

StevenB12

Hey guys,

Looking for some general advice as coming up to a big change in the household lol...bit of a long post but will try to keep it summarized haha

Ok, so at the moment the company I work for covers a national level, this often involves me traveling up to 800 miles a week and staying out 3/4 nights a week, this was something that was SEMI advertised to me when I took the job, I was told it would be 1/2 nights a week out...I knew there would be a lot of travel though from time to time. I have another engineer local to me who has the same job as me etc but is getting a bit of a "free pass" at the moment, often only having to do 2/3 jobs a week, and no time away. This is causing a bit of conflict internally between a few of us. And the wage at the moment, isn't great.

The silver lining is I've been promoted to head engineer in a sub division of the company, and have been told that in maybe 4/5 years I will have a chance to be manager. I've found the company extra work which is starting soon, this will bring a decent pay rise with it, BUT will now involve having to work weekends and be on call outs. But, I'm hoping that within time, if my sub division takes off, I could take a more managerial role and not be away as much.

Me and my fiance are currently working on buying our house, and we are hoping to have a kid within the next year or so..., which is where the dilemma of working away comes into play, as she will have to take time off work obviously, and me being away all the time isn't something I'm keen on when I'll have a kid etc.

So really, has anyone else had any kind of similar circumstances, what did you do etc? Or what would you do in this situation? I know that with a lot of hard work that potentially I could do a lot with this company and expand it, hopefully, but at the same time I think I would be sacrificing a lot of home life..

Thanks for any advice.

Tabbytabitha

If a promotion to manager would mean not working away (or not as much), I'd give serious consideration to waiting a few years before starting a family. You've only been in your current job for a couple of months and you'd be better establishing yourself more securely before looking at the sort of flexibility fatherhood might need.

StevenB12

Current manager lives close to where the factory is and he had to relocate once he got offered the job, something which I'm not to keen on, I think it would be on the table for me to work from home more anyway, I would like to think.

tacpot12

It's all about balance. Putting a lot into your career is often necessary in the early years, but you also need to have a life outside of work.

If you work weekends, you need to make sure that you take the time off the following week. No buts, no excuses, just tell work and the clients I'm not at work these two days because I was working on Saturday and Sunday. Don't carry the time off forward and don't compromise on this. You need to expect the same level of respect for your home life that you will be prepared to give your staff when you are the manager.

Callouts are very standard in some industries, but you should be paid for being on call. If they won't pay you, don't do on-call. The amount of pay doesn't have to be much, but just enough to recognise that these is some impact on your personal life if you are on-call.

Having a baby and being a way from home is very hard on the mum. You should plan to take the maximum amount of paternity leave and some Shared Parental Leave so you can support your fiance. Work probably won't be pleased about this, but you should be able to manage the impact with some planning.

If extra childcare responsiblities will fall onto your fiance, you need to make sure that she gets some extra time off too. Arranging for your parents to babysit sometimes could be an idea if they live close by.

StevenB12

tacpot12 wrote: »

It's all about balance. Putting a lot into your career is often necessary in the early years, but you also need to have a life outside of work.

If you work weekends, you need to make sure that you take the time off the following week. No buts, no excuses, just tell work and the clients I'm not at work these two days because I was working on Saturday and Sunday. Don't carry the time off forward and don't compromise on this. You need to expect the same level of respect for your home life that you will be prepared to give your staff when you are the manager.

Callouts are very standard in some industries, but you should be paid for being on call. If they won't pay you, don't do on-call. The amount of pay doesn't have to be much, but just enough to recognise that these is some impact on your personal life if you are on-call.

Having a baby and being a way from home is very hard on the mohter. You should plan to take the maximum amount of paternity leave and some Shared Parental Leave so you can support your fiance. Work probably won't be pleased about this, but you should be able to manage the impact with some planning.

If extra childcare responsiblities will fall onto your fiance, you need to make sure that she gets some extra time off too. Arranging for your parents to babysit sometimes

Yeah, my previous job was the same doing 80 odd hours a week, days,nights,weekends etc and it got to a fact where I may as well have took my bed to work for the time that I was at home. I knew in a way what I would be taking on here, and as I said I accepted the odd day working away etc, but not the amount it has now become, especially when the work is not being shared evenly. This has been brought up with management but it's been a bury his head in the sand scenario.

I know that when my current manager was off in hospital ill with a kidney infection etc, he took 6 months off work on doctors orders and didn't receive any pay, and he's known the owner for 15+ years. So I don't hold out much hope of paid maternity anyway. Maybe 2 weeks if I'm lucky.

Fireflyaway

I thought my input may help as I was on the other side. My husband worked away ( mon- fri for 2 years) and I was at home working and looking after our daughter. For me I felt like a single mum in some ways as everything was down to me. I knew it was a temporary sacrifice and the experience my husband would gain would enable him to land a better job afterwards. Thankfully that's what happened.
The hardest part was our daughter. She was about 8 at the time and although we explained what was happening she did miss her dad. We made weekends special to try and compensate and explained it would be worth it in the long run.
I think it depends what your roles are in the home. I've always done the cleaning etc so it was no difference in that respect. Not having to cook proper dinner and getting tv nights in on my own was cool. I'm lucky I don't get lonely. on the other hand I had a colleague whose husband took a contract away. She couldn't cope. She was close to tears all the time and felt abandoned! In the end he had to come back.
How does your partner view it?
I'd also not bank too much on what may happen in 4 years. The company could cease to exist or you could hate it by then or find a better opportunity elsewhere.

TELLIT01

Although you'd like to start a family in a couple of years there's no guarantee that it will happen when you plan it to. I'd be inclined to accept the current job and gain as much experience as you can. Then if it does become a problem further down the line you will be in a better position to get alternative employment which doesn't require as much travel.

StevenB12

Fireflyaway wrote: »

I thought my input may help as I was on the other side. My husband worked away ( mon- fri for 2 years) and I was at home working and looking after our daughter. For me I felt like a single mum in some ways as everything was down to me. I knew it was a temporary sacrifice and the experience my husband would gain would enable him to land a better job afterwards. Thankfully that's what happened.
The hardest part was our daughter. She was about 8 at the time and although we explained what was happening she did miss her dad. We made weekends special to try and compensate and explained it would be worth it in the long run.
I think it depends what your roles are in the home. I've always done the cleaning etc so it was no difference in that respect. Not having to cook proper dinner and getting tv nights in on my own was cool. I'm lucky I don't get lonely. on the other hand I had a colleague whose husband took a contract away. She couldn't cope. She was close to tears all the time and felt abandoned! In the end he had to come back.
How does your partner view it?
I'd also not bank too much on what may happen in 4 years. The company could cease to exist or you could hate it by then or find a better opportunity elsewhere.

Sorry for late reply...been away haha.

She can be a little bit indifferent on it, it really depends. She is fine as long as I'm at home at some point in the week, but others if it's more than 3/4 nights out at a time then she's not happy about it, and I think at times she doesn't flat out tell me she wants me to get a different job. I know she's thought it at times but just doesn't want to say it.

Problem is as I said previously my line of work often demands very long hours and unsociable hours, weekends etc, my previous job was never working away, but at the same time I was hardly at home, so there was little difference. The biggest fact we have looked at is that she wants to continue to work when we do start a family etc so there in come the challenges of baby sitters and all of that on top.