Worried that I've lost credibility with agents

Mrs_Imp

If you were still on their system you should have received GDPR information from them.

bertiewhite

I am currently on the market with an offer just been received this week.

Previously though, my EA had a particular "serial offerer" who expressed an interest in my place. They phoned up to explain that this particular woman had exhausted all their other properties and had a habit of putting in ridiculously low offers and then not being surprised when they were rejected. It turns out that she is living in her late sisters house which her brother in law has put on the market and she doesn't really want to move.

They asked if I still wanted to entertain this woman so in my case, the EA seems to be actually doing their job by filtering out time-wasters.

steampowered

You need to stop worrying what other people think about you. It really doesn't matter.

Focus on yourself.

MoreSensible

Bertiewhite - she sounds a bit like me. Honestly, I do think that I've put myself in a very difficult situation.

I didn't put this in the original posts, but I've been pulling the same !!!! this year. When I started to panic about losing credibility with agents, I started to rush into things and I've just trashed my credibility even further. I can't even bring myself to write about my latest screw up.

Mental health issues have ruined me.

Lots of people would have been so grateful to have been in the position that I was in. Large deposit, good income. But I've spoiled my chances of owning a property now.

Even if I'd got myself into debt and was digging myself out of it, I'd have more hope than if I'd spoiled my credibility like this.

I feel so despondent. Got to get myself into some therapy soon, I think.

victoriavictorious

MoreSensible wrote: »

Bertiewhite - she sounds a bit like me. Honestly, I do think that I've put myself in a very difficult situation.

I didn't put this in the original posts, but I've been pulling the same !!!! this year. When I started to panic about losing credibility with agents, I started to rush into things and I've just trashed my credibility even further. I can't even bring myself to write about my latest screw up.

Mental health issues have ruined me.

Lots of people would have been so grateful to have been in the position that I was in. Large deposit, good income. But I've spoiled my chances of owning a property now.

Even if I'd got myself into debt and was digging myself out of it, I'd have more hope than if I'd spoiled my credibility like this.

I feel so despondent. Got to get myself into some therapy soon, I think.

Oh my goodness, MoreSensible bless you, no of course you haven't spoiled your chances!
You sound like a nice considerate person who is eager not to upset others and you worry what people think of you, but an EA's main focus is on getting properties sold, they won't care who you are and are very unlikely to remember you, and even if they do, does it really matter in the grand scheme of things?
In fact if they are anything like our Vendor's EA, they won't even have a clue who you are when you're actually buying through them, let alone just viewing! This same agent - who we speak to quite often - is still sending us properties to view, despite the fact we are buying through them and are almost at exchange of contracts!
It might help to talk over your anxiety with someone but in the meantime, as someone suggested upthread, why not make a list of all the criteria you would/would not like in your next home and do some detailed Rightmove searches, ignoring who the agents are for now! You are planning to buy a house, not a new best friend. It might help focus your mind on what matters.

When you do find places you would like to view, get a friend or relative to make those initial phone calls / approaches to the agent on your behalf. That may well be the sticking point with you. A lot of people don't like making phone calls - I'm one of them!
Alternatively and if you can afford it, you could try instructing a Buyers Agent. Just think of it in the same way as someone might employ a Personal Shopper for their wardrobe; someone who can look at the situation with fresh eyes.
Good luck.

MoreSensible

Thanks for the kind words and reassurance, Victoria.

an EA's main focus is on getting properties sold, they won't care who you are and are very unlikely to remember you, and even if they do, does it really matter in the grand scheme of things?

That's the problem. They don't need me to make a sale. Most decent houses around here get several offers on them. Hopefully they won't remember me but if they do, I won't be getting an offer accepted, especially if they've had other offers.

Anyone got any advice as to how I can regain credibility. All I can think of is broaching it head on - regaining some confidence and going in very prepared - all my proof of deposit, agreement in principle to hand, checklist of things at viewings. If I come across an EA that I remember or who seems to remember me, maybe even say that my situation has changed now and I'm ready to move right away if I get an offer accepted.

tlc678910

Hi OP,
I think you need to take a break from house hunting, try to chill out (indulge a small amount in a hobby or holiday) and as suggested by others, sincerely, seek some councilling and support.

You sound very worried and are certainly catastraphising about buying a house but buying a house is stressful even for people who begin the process in a good frame of mind and are more resilient. While you are panicking you might make poor decisions and further setbacks could lead you to a mental health crises. Nothing is more important than your health.

Seek support and when you are feeling better look into buying while keeping your support in place. Don't panick there has always been property for sale and always will be.

Good luck
Tlc

MoreSensible

Cheers tlc678910,

I've had a lot of people giving me that advice. If I could live with my family, I would definitely do that. Unfortunately they live miles away in the middle of nowhere so that wouldn't be practical for my career.

Looking for another rental property and then renting while prices continue to increase rapidly around here will also put a strain on my mental health. I'm between a rock and a hard place really. Not sure I can see a way out.

Part of me feels it would be better to make an imperfect purchase than continue renting.

steampowered

MoreSensible wrote: »

Part of me feels it would be better to make an imperfect purchase than continue renting.

There is no such thing as a perfect purchase.

There will be drawbacks or issues with every single property you might want to purchase.

There will also be 'unknowns' at every step of the way, unfortunately.

Accepting that is quite important if your purchase is to go through successfully.