Vicious Circle....

Rosie_D

Hi everyone

Just wondering how everyone gets in the right frame of mind to pay off their debts. I really want to get rid of them but we are in the habit of spending on entertainment at the weekend & if I say we can't do something it feels like I'm the bad guy. I'd be happy to stay in & do things at home at the weekend to save the money to pay some things off.

To make things worse, I don't work so it feels like I'd be telling my hubby he can't do something with the money he's earned, if you know what I mean? He earns a good wage & we don't get any benefits, not even child benefit. We should be able to do things on a weekend but I feel that we need to get this debt paid off as it's not good for my mental health (or my nagging either).

I deal with the finances & my hubby knows we are in debt ( plus the mortgage) but I feel it's all on me.

Has anyone else been in the same situation?

Thanks

lazyrose

I!!!8217;m at the start of my debt-free journey, but I think it!!!8217;s important to work out your budgets to cut back on spending, but still budget in some money for the things you love doing. If you don!!!8217;t, you!!!8217;ll feel miserable and then impulse spend at breaking point. This has been my cycle until I realised that factoring in some money for enjoyment is valid!! In fact holidays have been my biggest problem, and so a big part of my debt-free plan is working out ways to get that sense of freedom and fun in my day to day life.

Maybe trying to cut down to one weekend a month of doing something costly, rather than every weekend will help. I!!!8217;m sure this forum will have tons of ideas to fill the other three weekends. Have you got kids? What kind of thing do you usually do at the weekend? xxx

StokieBecks

You need to sit down and draw up a list of finances - incomings and outgoings. Make a budget and stick to it. The lovely folks on here will recommend doing a Statement of Affairs (SOA) and posting it so they can see if there is anywhere you can cut back

Not sure why you aren't receiving child benefit. Does your partner earn 50k a year and you have opted out?

Keep a spending diary for a couple of months and account for every single penny spent to see where the money is going.

Most importantly you both have to be on board and both have to be on the same page in order to tackle the debts.

ReadingTim

Rosie_D wrote: »

...it feels like I'd be telling my hubby he can't do something with the money he's earned, if you know what I mean?

If you're in debt it means you've already done something with the money he's earned - he can't spend it twice!

You need to get the other half on board, fast. Do a Statement of Affairs, so that both people on here can give advice, and hubby can see the situation you're both in, which might help him realise why he can't simply spend, spend, spend. Don't keep this all to yourself - he needs to help too, and the sacrifices need to be joint. Needless to say, weekend entertainment will probably have to be knocked on the head for the foreseeable...

cantcope

You should be able to do things on a weekend, you're right. However, from the sounds of it you've done a bit too much in the past and now you need to pay for it before you do anymore

FTBNow

I don't think you need to cut back at the weekend completely: maybe just have one treat weekend out of four (but don't break the bank for that weekend). Unfortunately if you're in debt you need to make sacrifices: whether that be food, entertainment budget or elsewhere.

It's possible to become debt free and still have "a life", but doing something every weekend when you're on a budget just isn't possible.

You need to get your husband on board first and foremost.