I am being upgraded from Mum to Nan - I need a plan!

enthusiasticsaver

All the time you and your brother are subsidising your sister there is no incentive for your BIL to work more or for your sister to leave him. Do they not qualify for benefits?

How old are you and what is the plan for retirement?

Mum2Nan

Beanielou, the background regarding my BIL is that his work, according to him, is seasonal.  He’s a builder and decorator and his work generally dries up from November to February / March and consequently he doesn’t have an income (save for the odd small job here and there).   I refer to him as a bum because he could get a job doing something else for those months (delivery driver for instance coming up to Christmas) but for some unknown reason he refuses to.  My sister is on a low income (works full-time) which doesn’t help.  She tried claiming WTC a couple of years ago but because BIL’s income is so erratic they ended up clawing some of it back and it was a very difficult time for her.   She’s very good at managing her money but it can only stretch so far so now she doesn’t bother claiming. 

In November 2018 my brother suggested we help her out and we agreed £200 a month as I was still on full income but totally ignored my debts.  I’ve checked my bank statements for last year and I made the last payment to him on 1 March (this is good because I thought it was April) so we did the same again from November 2019 so one more month to go however it will resume again (albeit at half of what I was paying and is already factored into my SoA but next month I can reduce this to start accruing for it) in November this year.  She doesn’t know I contribute.  She would be mortified if she did.  My brother has never been in debt and paid his mortgage off about 5 years ago. 

Despite a horrendous journey home on Thursday (another delay repay submitted) forced myself to do a complete stocktake of cupboards, fridge and freezer (I’m still recovering from the shock at how much I have let things go!) and Friday night did a meal plan and then popped to Aldi to get the few things I needed, so more than just milk but only £3.96 more.  I then drove to Sainsbury’s to fill up the tank but I reluctantly paid for it using my Nectar points so have now moved my petrol budget for this month.  This is a big deal for me as I have an aversion to spending them.  I think it’s because if things went really bad I could at least afford a couple of months food and fuel but I still have around £130 so feel this is a good compromise.

My DD bought me the best present for Christmas ... ‘Alexa, play Gold’ so whilst listening to the radio, in between housework yesterday, I spent the day cooking.  Carbonara sauce, gammon with vegetables (managed to get two batches of soup as well as 3 meals out of this), fishcakes and a big bowl of mince which today will be turned into multiple shepherd’s pies.  I also made a batch of sandwiches.  I have been very good in the work lunch area though so this is not really a win.

Meal plan for the coming week:

Today
Lunch - HM Pea & gammon soup with ciabatta.  Dinner – lamb chops.  I am not going to my parents’ (a story for another day)

Tomorrow
Lunch – spaghetti carbonara.  Dinner - gammon

Tuesday
Lunch – sandwich.  Dinner – Shepherd’s Pie

Wednesday
Lunch - Jacket potato with ham & cottage cheese.  Dinner – fishcakes

Thursday
Lunch – Pea & gammon soup with ciabatta.  I am out for dinner but at no cost to me 😊

Friday
Lunch – sandwich.  Dinner – Fish & chips

Enthusiastic, I will be 50 next birthday which is on the horizon.  I only have about 15 years of pension contributions.  These dropped when my income reduced but they are back to what they should be now.  I admit I didn’t take this into consideration when I reduced my working week.

When my expenses get paid, I need to pay £230 off my Halifax card which I am going to do as I put them on there.  I should also technically repay my emergency fund as I dipped into it to make the BC overpayment for February but will only pay back £74 which will take it up to £1250. 

BC1 overpayment for March will be funded by council tax free money, fuel budget for this month, cash back hitting my current account and expenses.  April’s will be funded by expenses.  May’s will be funded by whatever my pay rise is (fingers crossed it’s a decent one!) along with the remainder of the expenses.  June, the final payment to get rid of BC1 will have to come out of my birthday money.   With my payments to be made next month I could well see my debt figure starting at £18K.  That’s the plan anyway. 

Ha, ha I bet I get an announcement that baby number 2 is on the way before I get to the end of the year!

I withdrew my Quidco money last week and it still hasn’t hit my PP account.  I don't know if I should be worried or not.  Previously it was paid into my bank account and am sure it was paid much sooner.

Mum2Nan

It’s been a busy week at work but it’s finally the weekend.  I am determined not to lose track of my diary or my money so it’s time for another update.

My Quidco money didn’t reach my PP account so I contacted them through FB and after looking into it they said they had problems with the payment so it’s now back sitting in my Quidco account!  I think I will now transfer this to my bank account instead.  Will do this Monday.

I had two lots of expenses incurred earlier this week so another £10.60 tracked taking my tracked balance to £79.49 which I will withdraw as and when it becomes available.  I have already added the expenses to my claim so I can submit it on time next month.

My meal plan has gone brilliantly this week both for lunches and evening meals.  I stopped off at Aldi on my way home to pick up a few things for next week’s meal plan.  Their baking potatoes are really good and I love asparagus and noticed it was part of their super 6 so bought that, and of course, milk.  My grocery bill is standing at £62.08 so far this month and that includes two bottles of wine!!  I am hoping to avoid Sainsbury’s altogether for this month but I may struggle towards the end, we shall see.

I was out last night with work colleagues and had a fun evening and at no cost to me.  It wasn’t a super late one but I paid for a taxi from the station but can reclaim that.

I received a lovely e-mail from my energy company as my one-year anniversary is up and my payments will be staying the same and am currently £81.32 in credit.  Very happy with this and will not be changing. 

I still haven’t spent any money on food for Laurel & Hardy, just under half their budget is still intact, although their food cupboard is lower than I would normally have it but still enough to get them through at least until next weekend I hope (this will be my Sainsbury’s downfall).  I am eeking out my cat litter with the help of one of the half a dozen litter fresheners I had in their cupboard and it seems to be working a treat.  2 out of 8 will be opened tomorrow though.  I have a nose when it comes to their litter!

I am determined to slip into £18K next month and if I stay true to my budget (hopefully come in under) with 2 weeks to go, I can do it.

The weather looks awful this weekend so will probably not venture far - I’m thinking the sofa is a good idea 😊 - will catch up on housework and have meals to cook this weekend for next week.  I have a work event mid-week and will be fed and watered (I hope for something a little stronger!!)

Mum2Nan

Yesterday was a NSD - this is not a surprise as I wasn't planning on going anywhere due the weather.  Did cook my meal plan for this week though and caught up with housework.

Today has been a bit spendy in that I've bought two bottles of wine.  I prefer rose and my sister prefers red so it had to be two bottles   This I feel is needed as my sister is coming over shortly for a girlie sister chat.  I already know she's had a massive row with B-I-L regarding his non-job status.  To avoid expensive taxi journeys she staying over so I know things are bad.  I've spent the afternoon getting the spare room ready.  Laurel and Hardy aren't impressed because they've been decamped from their room for the time being.  She's now on half term so no getting up early for her although I shall still have to go to work but have already said she can have my spare key so she doesn't have to get up at the crack of dawn.  I can't help feeling that I shall be glad if she's hit crisis point and decides to ask him to leave.  I know I won't be the only one in my family.  Fortunately, due to my parents providing a hefty deposit (there was no other way she could have afforded to buy her house without it) and them also being on the mortgage, between all 3 of them they own her house, well in addition to the bank.  When her mortgage is paid off in 4 years, she will have a bit more money to play with.  How he can lay in bed watching her get up for work every day is a mystery to me but so is why she's put up with it for so long.  Lazy so and so.

Another £14.60 (more expensive at the local shop compared to Aldi or even Sainsbury's) to add to my grocery budget but do not begrudge this at all.  I am still under budget.

swaledale_one

You seem a very determined person and stick to your plans...maybes have a read of 'Alan Carr, The easy way'  after reading this I stopped smoking and I even managed to do it without using the  champix I was prescribed .....I was on upto 30 cigs a day some weeks . This will save you £25 a week ;-)

Sarahwithlove

It must be so hard for you seeing your sister being taken advantage of like that, I'm glad he isn't on the mortgage at least you know your sister will always have a place to live. 

Mum2Nan

Swaledale_One, thanks for having such confidence in me but I’m only determined when I’m focussed and I’m only just getting back into the full swing of MSE life.  I have heard of Alan Carr however I don’t have enough willpower to give up the vaping just yet.  Hopefully, this will be the next step at some point.

Sarahwithlove, thanks for stopping by.  Yes, it’s all very frustrating but as you say we don’t have to worry about her living arrangements but if it should come to it, I imagine my parents and sister are going to have a nightmare getting rid of him.  

There were lots of tears on Sunday evening.  I was so angry and upset to see my sister in such a bad way.  Ran her a hot bath, poured her a glass of wine, more tears and hugs later she seemed a bit happier when she went to bed.

I received a phone call from her mid-afternoon yesterday asking me if she can stay another couple of days so she’s still here.  So, another spendy day yesterday from my grocery budget including more wine!  I’ve kept my receipt so Thursday I can update my spends as I’m out tomorrow evening.  As I knew she was staying today I took out another of my HM shepherd’s pie from the freezer (I took one out for me yesterday morning thinking I would be on my own and suddenly panicked a bit, keeping up appearances and all that!) so at least no spending today.  She looks so much better for a break from him and I’ve loved having her around.

Laurel & Hardy have settled down a bit despite being decamped from their bedroom.  In fact, they both spent the night on my sister’s bed last night and I felt a bit envious… still you can’t have it always… 

beanielou

Your sister is so lucky to have you. 

Sarahwithlove

Hopefully the more time she spends away from him the more she will come to realise that she doesn't need him in her life. 

Mum2Nan

Thanks Beanielou, I am sure if the situation was reversed she would do the same for me.

Sarah, here’s hoping!

So, my sister is still here…  she’s going home tomorrow, and she looks like a new woman!  Plenty of rest and relaxation this week has definitely helped along with being away from BIL and just what the doctor would have ordered I suspect.  I felt a bit guilty being out last night but it was a work event which would have been extremely difficult to get out of at such short notice and she knew this.  When I got home my flat was gleaming.  She had obviously run the hoover over and mopped the floors 😊 and I had the added bonus of a cat sitter.  My only spend yesterday was my taxi from the station home but I can claim that back.  How thoughtful and sad is it that she wanted to give me some money (that I know she doesn’t have) for all the baths she’s had this week because she knows I’m on a water meter.  I could have cried when I went to bed last night.

Tonight was a bit spendy but it wasn’t my money.  Dad called on my way home from work to say Mum had transferred £30 into my account to treat my sister and I to a takeaway and a bottle of wine so I duly obliged.  We ordered Chinese and there was almost enough left over to buy 2 bottles from the local shop.  If only we liked the same wine.  It will seem a bit strange coming home to an empty flat when I get home from work tomorrow evening.

It’s been a bit of a funny week in every sense this week.  I’ve tried to keep it as low cost as possible despite unexpected lovely guest all week. 

When I get home tomorrow night I am going to need to reconcile my spends this week but I think the damage is minimal under the circumstances.

I’ve got a super busy weekend coming up so much so that I am already looking forward to the following one!