Informal chat with manager handled badly, advice please

Green2014

Hi

Ill try to keep this short without the details

On Friday I handed in my notice to the new head chef as I had felt comments he had made were sexist and I was excluded from the group.

I told the head chef I was leaving because my heart isn't it so I lied. I gave two weeks written notice.

I was advise by other staff to tell the manager the truth so I did. I text her asking to meet and she agreed.

We sat down and I told her, she thought I had got it wrong because she said she is a good judge of character. I walked away then a few mins later I was called back to be told the same thing. I asked her not to tell him because It would make my last two weeks notice hard and she told me to remain professional and not get involved with gossip.

No less then 15 mins later she is telling the head chef in front of people loud enough for people walking past to tell me. I panicked and left the building. Two staff members caught me crying that day. I was told after I left they were all speaking even louder about it and everyone heard.

I have emailed the owner explaining what his girlfriend (manager) did and why I walked out like I did. He replied saying I am sorry you feel this way, I can not give a comprehensive reply right now but I will get back to you asap.

Could anybody give me a heads up on where I may stand legally as I am unable to work my notice because of this

I am due tips from last week today and my knifes are still at work. I have asked a staff member to collect them. If I am not given the tips is that fair?

Many thanks

nicechap

Green2014 wrote: »

Hi

Ill try to keep this short without the details

On Friday I handed in my notice to the new head chef as I had felt comments he had made were sexist and I was excluded from the group.

I told the head chef I was leaving because my heart isn't it so I lied. I gave two weeks written notice.

I was advise by other staff to tell the manager the truth so I did. I text her asking to meet and she agreed.

We sat down and I told her, she thought I had got it wrong because she said she is a good judge of character. I walked away then a few mins later I was called back to be told the same thing. I asked her not to tell him because It would make my last two weeks notice hard and she told me to remain professional and not get involved with gossip.

No less then 15 mins later she is telling the head chef in front of people loud enough for people walking past to tell me. I panicked and left the building. Two staff members caught me crying that day. I was told after I left they were all speaking even louder about it and everyone heard.

I have emailed the owner explaining what his girlfriend (manager) did and why I walked out like I did. He replied saying I am sorry you feel this way, I can not give a comprehensive reply right now but I will get back to you asap.

Could anybody give me a heads up on where I may stand legally as I am unable to work my notice because of this

I am due tips from last week today and my knifes are still at work. I have asked a staff member to collect them. If I am not given the tips is that fair?

Many thanks

You appear to have handled things badly, as has your manager. You have formally resigned because "your heart is not in it" not because of sexist abuse.

If you don't attend work (whether notice period or not) you don't have the right to be paid so are now free to look for other work.

(C+ for dilema AI/Bot)

Green2014

I appreciate that but it is a small team and I felt trapped so I really couldn't of done much else. Thanks for your response

Green2014

Is it to late to call a formal grievance meeting?

k3lvc

Green2014 wrote: »

Could anybody give me a heads up on where I may stand legally as I am unable to work my notice because of this

I am due tips from last week today and my knifes are still at work. I have asked a staff member to collect them. If I am not given the tips is that fair?

You stand jobless and moneyless. You're not unable to work - you've just thrown your toys out and decided you're not going to and there are consquences to that.

You've admitted that YOU handled it badly so difficult as it may be suck it up, work your notice, collect your knives (and hopefully tips) and leave with your head help high.

The industy in local areas is notoriously small and no-one wants to employ a flouncer

nicechap

Green2014 wrote: »

Is it to late to call a formal grievance meeting?

What does your union rep say?

(amazing how such a question comes after the rest of the story)

Green2014

I hear what you are saying but all the staff agree with me and others have been complaining about the head chef so I do stand by what I did even if it wasn't right legally. Thanks for your response.

shortcrust

Green2014 wrote: »

Hi

Ill try to keep this short without the details

On Friday I handed in my notice to the new head chef as I had felt comments he had made were sexist and I was excluded from the group.

I told the head chef I was leaving because my heart isn't it so I lied. I gave two weeks written notice.

I was advise by other staff to tell the manager the truth so I did. I text her asking to meet and she agreed.

We sat down and I told her, she thought I had got it wrong because she said she is a good judge of character. I walked away then a few mins later I was called back to be told the same thing. I asked her not to tell him because It would make my last two weeks notice hard and she told me to remain professional and not get involved with gossip.

No less then 15 mins later she is telling the head chef in front of people loud enough for people walking past to tell me. I panicked and left the building. Two staff members caught me crying that day. I was told after I left they were all speaking even louder about it and everyone heard.

I have emailed the owner explaining what his girlfriend (manager) did and why I walked out like I did. He replied saying I am sorry you feel this way, I can not give a comprehensive reply right now but I will get back to you asap.

Could anybody give me a heads up on where I may stand legally as I am unable to work my notice because of this

I am due tips from last week today and my knifes are still at work. I have asked a staff member to collect them. If I am not given the tips is that fair?

Many thanks

What would you do if they told you to jump of a bridge (as my mum would say)?

People do love a work drama that comes with no risk to themselves. You say they've all been complaining. I bet that means complaining to each other and saying nothing to the manager.

Green2014

Absolutely but this place has very unhappy staff and the owners promised us all it would change for the better. Time for me to move on and learn from how I handled it. Another co worker is making a formal complaint over bullying so Im sure he will have more luck than me. I stand by what I did 100%, I accept I went about it the wrong way and If happens again I will be smarter. This place has a bad rep for staff turn over. I should of got out long time ago. Thank you for your responses, has helped alot. I have interviews lined up so moving on is best thing for me now and I feel a huge weight lifted off my shoulders

marliepanda

Green2014 wrote: »

I hear what you are saying but all the staff agree with me and others have been complaining about the head chef so I do stand by what I did even if it wasn't right legally. Thanks for your response.

You say all the other staff agree with you.

If so, go back, hold your head high in the knowledge its not just you' and if he mentions it tell him that what he heard is correct, you're leaving because of his sexist attitude, and does he have anything to say on the matter!

TBagpuss

Ideally, you should work your notice (and make an immediate complaint to your manager if there are any sexist comments or other inappropriate behaviour.

If you don't work the notice period, you won't be entitled to get paid for it. Technically you would be in breach of contract and your employer could try to recover from you and losses they suffer as a result, but in practice this is unlikely.

In terms of entitlement to tips i suspect that this would depend on whether they form part of your pay (i.e. if you would be paid below NMW without them) and what, if anything, your contract says about tips.