Serious Gambling Debt

davidrossy

Hi, I come to the forum in quite some mess, I feel as though I am stuck in a deep black hole with no way out.
For some time now I have been spread betting on the forex markets, whilst I have won lost a fair bit of money in the past its been relatively under control.
6 months ago although I was gambling using my credit cards I had no debt at all.
Recently though my gambling has become wildly out of control. About 6 months ago my wife warned me to stop gambling before I lost and insisted I shut down my spread betting
accounts. She insisted I withdrew all the money out of my back onto my credit cards.
I stopped for a while, but instead of talking to somebody I decided I could manage my gambling, hid it from my wife and started gambling cash which I was withdrawing from my credit cards in casinos, betting shops and fixed odds terminals.
I had not done this type of gambling before I realised I had soon started running up debts and drawing more and more cash from my credit cards increasing the bets to try and recover the losses moving from place to place to hide my cash spending.
It is now well out of control, I feel as though the gambling is well past talking to my wife about it if she finds out our marriage is over and I will be thrown out the house.
It is crazy to think 6 months ago I was debt free. Now my debts are:
£10k RBS loan took out for a car, bought the car then resold it straight afterwards to fund my gambling.
£30k Credit Cards
£3k Overdraft

I have lost my job because of my rapidly deteriorating health and have very little credit left to cover my debt repayments.
I am worried sick that I don't have any options left as I may be done for fraud for falsely gaining credit for gambling and it makes it look so much worse than I drew out so much cash to try on conceal my gambling from my wife.

I have been to the step change site which recommended Bankruptcy, but I am not sure that is an option.

Thanks

National_Debtline

Hi David and welcome to MSE,


First of all, well done for posting - it is a big first step. If you haven't already done so, you may want to look at contacting an organisation like GamCare for further support - http://www.gamcare.org.uk/


As far as bankruptcy is concerned, it could be an option, but you need to be aware of some of the implications. If you are declared bankrupt then it will normally last for 12 months and you will have certain restrictions on you during that time. Any assets such as property, vehicles, savings etc would be at risk. It is a form of insolvency and can affect other things, such as some private tenancies, employments (within certain industries) and even immigration status. Bankruptcy is obviously very damaging to a persons!!!8217; credit file. Do you and your wife have any debts in joint names or a joint bank account? Because this could be an issue if she isn't aware of what is going on and if you go bankrupt.


Your income and expenses will also be assessed !!!8211; if you have more than £20per month disposable money then they can take 100% of the disposable money for up to 3 years under an Income Payment Arrangement (IPA). Whilst they can't take any of your wife's income, they may ask to see a household budget to ensure the bills are shared fairly. Best of luck,


Laura
@natdebtline

MEM62

It must be a tough place to be.

First off you must get help for your gambling addition. There is absolutely no point is looking at you finances until this has been resolved.

Secondly, speak to the wife. Your situation is that serious that she is going to find our one war or another and it is better coming from you. Whatever they outcome may be that is unavoidable now but I am sure that she deserves the consideration and respect of hearing it from you.

As for bankruptcy, you need further face to face advice on this, either from Step Change or another debt charity but I suspect that they may only be able to offer limited practical help if your gambling has not been addressed.

davidrossy

Thanks for the advise guys, I feel as though however hard it is and whatever the consequences I need to tell my wife first and foremost as until I do I don't I will fully accept the position I am in. I can then address my gambling with my wife knowing my position as I do feel as though I need some support from her, whether she gives me it or not is anyone's guess (probably not) but that is the process I need to go through and accept the consequences of my actions. Whilst I try and hide this I am still in denial and in the back of my mind hoping I can get out of it.

The stress I am currently under is putting a series strain on my health , I fear I wont be able to withstand it for too much longer, but at the end of the day it's my own fault.

MEM62

Your taking some difficult steps. Remember that there are organisations and groups out there like GA that will also offer support.

Stay strong.

BaldEagle

Hi David,

As already mentioned, GamCare are a good starting point. They can provide you with assistance not just about stopping gambling but also managing your money. I'd also suggest self-excluding from all of your local bookies sooner rather than later. It's a good first step. You can do it with a single call to 0800 294 2060.
https://self-exclusion.co.uk/

Best of luck.

Muhren

Hi David, reading your post I can see so my parallels to my situation. I just wanted to reassure you that there is a way out of this, I'm not going to sugar coat it and tell you it is going to be easy, it's not, it's tough but you can do this. Hell if I can, anyone can!

I had massive debts not too dissimilar to yours, see my signature. Like someone else has said you need to get a grip on your gambling, and by that I mean stop. To do this your are going to have to put measures in place to physically being able to, I have a program called K9 on my computer that stops an access to gambling sites, I went to GA for a few years (I no long attend), only carry small amounts of cash that you need for the day, get rid of a phone that has access to the internet and also tell people, you might be surprised and their reactions, and if nothing else it will feel like a weight lifted off your shoulders.

I know all this may sound scary, but if you truly want to stop this horrible addiction then you are going to have to suck it up for a little while. Gambling almost killed me, and I do not say that lightly, I had to work really hard to stop, The good news is that it will get easier, I no longer want to gambe, which seems amazing as I literally could not stop at one point and never thought I would be able to give up.

I know how desperate, sad, angry and frustrated you must be right now, but there is a way out of this. I have been gambling free for 5 years and have got my life back on track, which at the start I never though I would. If you want to ask me anything feel free to drop me a PM or ask in this thread and I will do my best to help you out. I won't have all the answers but if you feel it would help to speak to someone who has been there and done it, do not hesitate.

All the best David, I know that you can sort yourself out and come through this.