How come everyone seems better off than me?

walletmoths

Have you ever felt that when you look around, everyone seems to be better off than you are? It's really grinding at me, and I'd appreciate any tips on how you get around this yourself.

(Please be gentle... I'm doing my best...)

I've posted my budget on here, and have fixed loads of things - thank you Moneysaving Experts - but now that I'm living to my means, working full time, paying the mortgage OK etc, I still can't afford to do anything more than that. I'm getting really hacked off that I can't ever go out for a cuppa, or even for a drive. I can't ever afford new clothes, and certainly not a holiday for me and my kids! (I tried a £9 Sun holiday once - had such a bad experience that we left after one night).

I'm not entitled to any benefits. I've tried. I do wonder that if I earned less I'd actually be better off - but I don't want to risk slipping into a trap of any kind.

So, how come folks who I'm 'sure' have less income than me seem to do so much more? Are they really all living off credit cards?

Does anyone else ever feel this way? How do you cope with it?

sourcrates

Because its usually financed by credit thats why.

Everyone has to pay the piper one day, you can put it off by various sideways moves, but in the end, you gotta pay for it.

datlex

Hi OP. I have been trying to see what your income is. Your posts contain a lot on your expenses but not income. Possibly some people are using credit cards. Some people seem better at sniffing out a bargain than others.

a_silver_lining

Looking at your SOA I'd say that you're doing ok:) You have a mortgage rather then paying rent so are building money there for your families future. You have enough for food as basics like glasses etc. You also have £30 off a month on haircuts for your family, where as I grew up having hair cut at home, so I would say you are providing some luxuries for your family. You can provide shoes and clothes for your children each year and still have £75pm for entertainment. So actually I would say your are going great!

Not all families holiday, or go out a lot. Again, growing up we didn't have a lot of money, and perhaps we would have been better off on benefits. But I am happy that my dad is now mortgage free and comfortable. He has a lot more money for luxuries now he has no children at home and goes on holiday etc.

enthusiasticsaver

There are so many variables which determine how well off or poor someone is.

They may earn more than you or have a second stream of income like private work, rental property, investment income or two earners to your one

They may have less outgoings, smaller mortgage, no debt, less expensive lifestyle, no kids to support

They may be living off credit cards and loans although eventually that will come back to bite them

It doesn!!!8217;t really matter how others are doing. If you can manage to meet your expenses, have no debt and have a bit extra for treats and some savings you are doing ok. If not, well the best way to fix that is one of top two options above.

Sharon87

I was like you 'I'm skint, I have no money, I can't do anything'. Then I got a credit card, then another, went on holidays/days out/ate out and enjoyed it all. Now I have a lot of credit card debt which I am now paying off. I earn more than I used to so I can afford to pay it off, but it does mean I can't afford to buy a house yet (aged 30, live in London).

I am now budgeting properly and feel like 'I don't have much money to spend on things I want'. But that's because although I earn an ok amount of money I am paying £300 towards my credit cards each month to get the balance down. We're all different in our attitudes to money even with our younger selves!

savingholmes

Have you tried the £10 a day challenge on the Debt free wannabee challenge board? That was a lifesaver for me when I first joined MSE. The goal is to make £10 a day - to either pay off your debts or for guilt free spends... Most months I've done the challenge - I succeeded.

enjoyyourshoes

Don't start to compare with others as its not helpful.

Live within your own financial envelope

Work out what your life goal is and set that as a target to save for, then you will enjoy it more when you achieve it.

forgotmyname

Do you save money where you can? Paying nothing by instalments if it costs you extra etc.
I used to pay my car insurance monthly it came out each month and I knew how much that was etc. But then when looking to save money you realise how much extra your paying.

Having a takeaway once a week went from £8 - £9, to 10 then 11 then 12 and now its pennies short of £20.
But even £10 a week its over £500 a year, closer to £1000 now.

So we eat far fewer takeaways these days.

Making your own meals gives you the chance to know exactly whats in it and no more pies with a teaspoon of some grey mush at the bottom. Real ingredients that you recognise.

We have been camping, Cornwall (which is usually very expensive) under £20 a night for a family. Tent or caravan if you have the storage or budget storage into holidays costs etc.
And thats in the main peak School summer holidays.

maisie_cat

I think you are doing extremely well to get by, it won't always be like this and you are focusing on the right things. As others have said , the people you are comparing yourself to may have £000s in debt or have been bailed by family.
My sister fell into the trap of comparing herself to her ex who took the children abroad and got into debt doing the same.
I think a lot of it as about priorities, some people do appear to have them a bit skewed. Frugal is not the same as cheap and buying fancy clothes but not maintaining your house is also short sighted.

Ilona

OP, don't worry about what other people are doing, concentrate on your own life. Those who appear to have lots of spare cash, often don't, they are living on credit. Likewise, someone who looks like a vagrant could well have millions in the bank, they just don't spend very much. Same old cliche, don't judge a book by it's cover.

I do very well on a pension, I know the difference between what I need and what I want. My needs are paid first, and I save up for the wants. You will often hear pensioners complain that they can't manage, heat or eat is a common phrase. I would like to go through their finances with a fine tooth comb and see what else they are spending their money on. Everyone's priorities are different.

I don't ever have a cuppa out, why would I, I have plenty to drink at home and if I go out I take it with me. I very rarely buy new clothes, at a guess £20 a year, most of mine come from charity shops and car boot sales, and friends give me clothes which no longer fit them. I can have a holiday and days out but I save for them, just booked two nights B & B at a Youth Hostel for £31.

Do I feel deprived, no not at all. I don't care what other people have, money and material possessions do not always bring happiness. OP, ignore what you perceive to be unfair, and concentrate on making the best of what you have, and doing the best for your family. Some good comments on this thread, take note.

Ilona