Am I taking this to heart too much?

Katapolt

In September i started a totally new job, something miles different from what id done before. I went for the huge career change because i wanted to buy a house, and needed a better wage. This has now happened, and im fairly settled.

In December i had my 3 month probationary review, to see if i would be kept on as a permanent member of staff, and i left the meeting feeling disheartened, although having kept the position.

During my 3 months whenever i asked for feedback or anything about how i was doing i was told "ill let you know" so i had nothing to work on to ensure my work was right. In the meeting they said i didnt pay enough attention to detail because i sent documents to someone prematurely (this was a genuine mistake, i didnt know they needed to be viewed by someone else and knew rhe recipient had been chasing them for over a week). I was also told off for using my phone, which i totally understand but as its just myself and one other person in the office (hes always on his phone making personal calls and browing Facebook) it was hard to remind myself it isnt acceptable behaviour.

Anyway, i feel a bit disappointed as none of my efforts seem to have been noticed, like coming in early every morning, or the good relationships ive built with people we use.

Do i just need to get over it and accept they do things differently here and i will be subject to different criticisms as im the only non family member in the company, or should i be asking for a little more equality?

Im well aware that if im unhappy thats my issue and i should just leave, im just not sure if im being over sensitive.

Fireflyaway

I feel similar. Started a new job in October and I'm really worried about not passing my probation. I work to my best ability but its a new role and somewhat ambiguous in terms of what I should actually be doing. I don't know if I'm on track or not. I know they got rid of other people who didn't display the required behaviours.
I'd say just carry on. Some companies and managers are great at showing appreciation and providing feedback whereas some will never acknowledge hard work and leave you feeling demotivated. You know about phone use so can improve on that but for the rest just be grateful you still have a job and if you carry on feeling unhappy look elsewhere.

sangie595

I agree on the phone issue. If you haven't got enough work to do, make some - don't ever get into other people's bad habits.

As for the feedback, you survived so let it go, but....

Take more control of supervisory meetings like this. Don't go in to be told stuff. Go in prepared. "I've been doing x and y to build effective relationships. As a result I feel..... But do you agree, and is there anything more I can do, or can I do it better?" "I've noticed x isn't working as well as it could and thought that I could try.... What do you think?"

Take the initiative.

agrinnall

I think the critical thing in your post is that you are the only non-family member working there. That means that you may well be held to an entirely different set of standards to everyone else, fair or not. It's worth hanging on to see if things get better but eventually you may find that you'll have to look for something elsewhere, so I would concentrate on building your skills and experience to take to a new job.

ThemeOne

I've done freelance work for a family business, and always felt the personal relationships between the family members coloured all business decisions. Probably easier to accept for a family member who would probably know what's going on behind the scenes, but very difficult for an outsider, and working with them always left me feeling frustrated and demotivated.

trailingspouse

I sometimes (often?) think that managers feel they need to make some sort of criticism at these types of meetings. If one document being processed incorrectly, and a couple of phone calls, is all they could come up with, then well done you.

Going forward, I agree with sangie595 - start jotting things down as you go along, so that you're ready next time there's a meeting. Things you've done successfully, ideas you have that might improve a part of the system, things that didn't go quite right but that you learnt from. It shows that you care about the job and about doing a good job - but most of all it shows that you're not a pushover.

gettingtheresometime

I've found that whether the firm has the same set up as yours or the employees are all unrelated, the phone issue is a common one where there could be one rule for one and other for someone else along with private use of the computer.


I worked in a place before where a member of the team would openly criticise another for their use of their phone/computer conveniently forgetting that they were as bad.


Each firm - whether its a big multinational or a small firm - will always have those that seem to get away with murder - I just think in a small firm it's more noticeable.

Katapolt

Thanks for all the tips! Ill definitlry star taking the initiative more, and standing up for myself. I just found out a huge change that happened between christmas and new year wasnt communicated to me at all, making me look stupid to some clients. Apparently they didnt think it was important to tell me, even though im working in my own this week.

Thanks everyone! Its nice to know its not all in my head.

gettingtheresometime

Katapolt wrote: »

Thanks for all the tips! Ill definitlry star taking the initiative more, and standing up for myself. I just found out a huge change that happened between christmas and new year wasnt communicated to me at all, making me look stupid to some clients. Apparently they didnt think it was important to tell me, even though im working in my own this week.

Thanks everyone! Its nice to know its not all in my head.

The other thing I would consider is are you the first non family member of staff they've employed?


If you are, remember its a learning curve for them as well. I sometimes have work related conversations with OH and son on the way home or on the way in. We don't have anyone else working for us at the mo but I can see if we did then that might cause a situation like the one you've experienced today

[Deleted User]

Katapolt wrote: »

In September i started a totally new job, something miles different from what id done before. I went for the huge career change because i wanted to buy a house, and needed a better wage. This has now happened, and im fairly settled.

In December i had my 3 month probationary review, to see if i would be kept on as a permanent member of staff, and i left the meeting feeling disheartened, although having kept the position.

You aren't 'safe' - you have another 21 months to go before any real protection. All that's happened by passing company probation is now a pension will be set up and you may go on to be entitled to more notice with length of service.

The higher the wage, the 'more value' is expected of you and yes the goal posts can be changed any time.

Tygermoth

I found working as a outsider in a family business hateful. Absolutely hateful.

We were always on the 'outside' - last to find something out - to be told anything or to be considered for anything (AL offered to family first -
staff second for example) but the first to have the finger pointed at if something went wrong.

There was alway a very subtle us/them divide and they paid themselves more but did less, took wild liberties and expected 'staff' to pull out all the stops for them but stick to the line.

I found they were the worst mixture of policies, they made personal preference rules the absolute LAW (matching cups only in the office - absolutely no personal cups) but got really irritated when you made enquiries regards actual obligations to their employees (ensuring NMW, gov pension or unagreed pay deductions)

The family i worked with had 4 employees overall and all felt they were no more to them than the hired help (said with a curled lip)

It was the most stressful place i have ever worked as you were absolutely powerless. Non family members always got blamed for everything - and you couldn't say well your effing wife personally promised the client she would handle it then went to the spa for a girls lunch, forgetting to hand it off to someone and cost you a cool mill in business - well you can, but it will get you fired - however constructively and tactfully you push back. As you can tell I speak from experience.

none so blind than those that don't want to see.