Weekly Flylady Thread 1st January 2018

Valli

On some of the hoarders programmes (TLC channel) they use therapists as the hoarding tends to be symptomatic of other issues.
One that I recall was a lady whose family had been military so stuff was dumped (including burned) before moving; even stuff she had wanted so when she was older she could not throw anything. Therapy discovered the reason for her hoarding then started to address it; her children had been totally unaware of her childhood toys being thrown like that.
I suppose it's like alcoholism or even OCD; and needs therapy to establish the reason then deal with it. First thing would be him agreeing it's actually a problem. Not easy.


Have bitten the bullet am shifting stuff out of the freezer that isn't going to be eaten anytime soon, a couple of packs of YS kippers which have been in there over a year and I am making apple pie with the apples and pastry, if the pastry isn't grim. While I abhor the waste it is equally wasteful for me to pay to store food I won't eat and it will make room to store the results of batch cooking. The kippers have been removed from the pack and put in the green bin, so they will go to compost not landfill.

Mumof2_2

Thanks Valli - he's been told he needs help but won't accept it so until he makes that breakthrough there's nothing we can do really is there ... maybe if I do little bits around the house it will incentivise him to get rid of stuff. Who knows?

YORKSHIRELASS

Keep us posted Pigpen - thinking of you all.

I have a bit of cold and stupid cough. Done paperwork for DH, pulled microwave out and thoroughly cleaned in and around it, been to the shop for a couple of essentials, two loads of washing out, DS2 collected. Going to cook some chicken for sandwiches tomorrow and I havent made our bed yet.

It seems that DHs plan (after getting up at 11am) is to sit on the sofa swearing at the football on the telly all day. Not sure why he watches it if it irritates his so much but I am keeping out of the way. His idea of an enjoyable Sunday is not the same as mine. Must make sure the dog gets a walk.

Oh and I have made the boys sandwiches which I know I shouldnt have done (them both being capable of doing it themselves) but either I make them some proper food or they will go hungry (DS2) or eat yet more frozen pizza (DS1).

I think I am slightly irritable today.

YORKSHIRELASS

Mumof2 wrote: »

I love the idea of the H2H challenge but my huge problem is that J is a serial hoarder and he really can't get rid of stuff .... as most of the stuff around here is his what on earth do I do about that? He has magazines going back donkeys years and 18 years worth of National Trust books and I'm not allowed anywhere near them ..... he gets really twitchy and distressed if I though only of 'his stuff' which takes up the whole house. Would appreciate any advice!

This is where Kon Mari fails a bit I think because her recommendation is that if you sort out your stuff the rest of the family will follow. Doesnt work in my experience! Some years ago DH had a load of magazines that he didnt want to part with and I suggested that he condensed them into one box which we could store in a cupboard. I later pointed out to him that the box had not been touched for about 2 years and he did get rid of them at that point. I dont really have an answer but it must make life hard.

Random news from here. I have just found a piece of chocolate gateaux in the back of the fridge. It must be at least two weeks old and looks perfectly edible (although it has gone in the bin).

Honey_Bear

Valli wrote: »

I will happily wash up all day - I LOATHE the drying part.

Ditto. Air-drying is fine here, and then I don't mind the putting away bit at all.

Mumof2, there is nothing easy and quick I can think of that will make a hoarder give up their precious stuff because having it makes them feel safer, and being made to let it go causes them huge anxiety. He may, or may not, come to terms with his hoarding tendencies. All you can do is manage the children's and your own stuff and make it very clear that the kitchen and bathroom are for everyone's use, not for storage of his stuff.

In time, once he's accepted that rule I'd extend that rule to the other common areas but that could be years away - I know from a previous post of yours some time ago that your OH stores some of his stuff in your son's bedroom which has been an issue for your son. (((Hugs)))

Roundtuit, a bag a day seems quite enough to me. That kind of thing is about making decisions and after about 20 minutes that gets harder (Dusty Kitten said so). Tomorrow's soon enough for the next one. I'm back to working my way through the same kind of thing in my office as you are with your bags - tackle one small bag/area at a time and just keep nibbling away at it. A bit like how to eat an elephant - one bite at a time.

I managed to clear the Christmas surface chaos in my RoD yesterday and bring the CS stuff downstairs ready to go to Tavistock on Tuesday. There's stuff in there kindly neighbours would be upset to see in the local CS so it has to be donated further afield. And I tackled the Froggie issue of my mother's mobile, ready to use for a PiP claim company. Neither of the two local organisations we bought the car and carpets through have records that go back far enough to see if we had any PiP so I've got to use a company. I'm certainly not giving them my mobile number so I've bought a pay as you go sim for an old phone and I'll just dump the sim when it's finished. Minimum spend of £1 a month now, Orange PAYG, so I'm hoping the company does it's work quickly.

We spent the morning slowly packing deconstructed Christmas away. The house looks quite bare.

New lodger has moved in. She's here for a few weeks and is very likable. Good-oh. And she arrived with a little planted up bucket of daffodils (she's Welsh) that will soon come into flower - how kind is that. She's the first lodger to ever arrive with a housegift, so as one of the couples has cried off from OH's pub birthday lunch today (with a good reason) he's invited her to join us.

Now to do a bit of copy and pasting with the exceptionally good advice everyone's given me with regard to H2H.

LameWolf

Just catching up with the Fred....

First up, posi-vibes for Piggers' DS1.

roundtuit wrote: »

some people seem to have to evacuate the same amount as they imbibe almost immediately!

That'll be both me and Mr LW, I'm afraid; some days here, it's a race to see who can claim the bathroom first (he always wins because he doesn't need sticks to walk).:D

Valli wrote: »

Washed
Up
Dried
Up
Put
Away

For many people the completion of all three steps at once is hard - personally I will happily wash up all day - I LOATHE the drying part.

Me too - the default position here is what we term "a clean mess" - that is the WU bit is done, but it's all stacked in the draining rack.

roundtuit wrote: »

I think the grill pan in use is like new as I always line it with kitchen foil before use. I'll check. If so, what do I do with a spare? :think: Fling? CS? Why would anyone want a spare grill pan? ....

.... just checked: current grill pan is lined with foil, and under the foil it's like new :A.

CS. they can fling it if they don't want it. And breathe...

I'd CS it if it was me - someone who has a grotty grill pan, or maybe has had a "culinary disaster" and ruined theirs, might well be glad of it. Or someone with veggies and carnivores in the family who needs two pans in order to grill things separately.......

WM load of Mr LW's clothes done; it's all out on the whirligig, on the basis of even if it doesn't completely dry, it'll have that lovely "been hung outside" smell to it.

Mr LW has given the car a once-over (oil, lights, tyres, screenwash level etc., and also vacuumed the interior) and has now been sent to scrub the loo.

I have decluttered a phone call :eek: to set up a meet'n'greet visit for two prospective new guests, two little Cavapoos. They'll be visiting next Saturday; apparently they're on a Raw Food diet, so I'll need plenty of freezer space available if they do come and stay.

Suppose I'd better shift my lardy a$$ and help Mr LW scrub the bath lift.....

Valli

In fact, re the washing up - if I am 'helping' anywhere I will put my foot down and state very firmly that I WILL wash but I WILL NOT dry.

Homework done (prepared for the kids to do, that is;)) AND BOOKS MARKED AND IT'S NOT EVEN DARK. I have one more work task today (ONLY ONE!!!! WOOTY WOOTY WOOT WOOT); rabbit hutch to refill and Aldi to visit.
DS's bed stripped.
I will do Aldi next. Plus, if I'll go now because the heating is not yet on; it's now getting too cold to sit (because I have had windows open, airing).

Jojo_the_Tightfisted

Himself made the mistake of asking me to listen and tell him what I thought of the band's latest track at 2.30am (and wouldn't let me put it off until this morning). It's supposed to have a 'reggae feel'.

Ugh. It was atrocious. Considering I grew up surrounded by reggae, ska and punk, I think I've actually got a good idea of what that means - and as it was stupid o'clock, I didn't hold back. The poor soul now knows exactly what was wrong with it, largely being it's ridiculously overcomplicated, the bassline drags like somebody's at the back of a funeral procession when they probably should be at the front - in the box - has no 'bounce' and, in my absolutely not humble opinion, what they are actually looking for is a ska based section changing to a Clash style, playing him exactly what I think is needed, cutting out several hangs, probably 89% of the extraneous nonsense and changing the arrangement of the chords in a few places to actually give it some life rather than be some Cod Reggae Cigarette Break song where everybody in the venue finds an excuse to go somewhere else.


He's about to pop out to the shops (I want Sunday Dinner today as I'm back at work tomorrow) and then I suspect that we - I - will be completely rewriting the thing for them. Whether or not the Lead Singer accepts the changes is neither here nor there; it has to be done and then he can refuse or not.

What didn't help is that I got a little short with him during the process - 'Tell you what, you carry on with the ten minute preamble and I'll come back once you've clicked Play'. 'Not ready to click Play yet? OK, I'm off to the loo and we'll try again' 'Yes, you've said that already' 'You've already told me this' 'I KNOW IT'S G, C, D and E - I CAN HEAR IT' 'What on Earth was that? Why?' 'Yes, you've told me that at least five times already, do I really have to listen to you telling me it again?'

Fortunately, the last comment annoyed him enough to snap that he'd best shut up then. 'Yup. It's 4.30am and I've got work on Monday morning. I'm going to bed and you need to stay the **** away from that recording until tomorrow if you actually want me to turn it into something listenable'.


Sigh. It would be so much easier if music wasn't the one thing that makes us properly fight like cat and dog. But we actually do some pretty good stuff in between the rows.



Plan for today, other than 'Try to not murder one another over this bloody song' is therefore

Locate extra stretchy work trousers. We've had Christmas, after all.
Locate socks. Miracles can happen.
Locate non shrunken work shirt. Yeah, sometimes I push the bounds of probability too much.
Locate non shrunken cardigan/jumper. OK, now I'm just being silly...

Eat lots of Sunday Dinner and drink tea.

Clear up afterwards.

Long, hot bath.

Honey_Bear

Valli, is your elderly cat struggling at the moment?

atypicalblonde

Going to do a HHC, anyone in?