Gifting house to Son when mum dies. what about her care!

Keep_pedalling

snoop2008 wrote: »

Silvertabby: that may be a possibility as he doesn't have ill health and I hope mum does live for several years. I'll have to read up about putting charge on the property , how that works, because she insists he can live in the house until he dies.. and when that happens, all of her wealth goes to the government. He does not have children or a partner.

Not if you out live him or have children.

This sort of arrangement is usually done, for a widow or widower, where the first to dies leaves their half of the house to the children but giving the survivor the fight to live their until death or the need to move into care. Doing it for the youngest child is pretty stupid and unfair to the older children..

snoop2008

Keep_pedalling wrote: »

Your mum would not have to pay for home care as she is on PC, but if she ever needed residential care in the next 12 years, the house would have to go. Once your brother hits 60, under the current rules she would then get free residential care, and he would continue to get a free home.

Your brother seems to be a bit of a parasite, and your mother is being very foolish if she is giving him the right to stay one until he dies, as this could very well block you from ever getting your share of her estate, and in the long term preventing her every having a decent choice of residential care.

Good luck in persuading her to get a new will drawn up.

You derserve the biggest hug! You've made me cry, you hit the nail on the head. I worry about her, she wont listen to me. I tried to tell her, let him go and make his own life. I cant do much for her, I am severely disabled. she says me and our two other brothers, have our home, be it council or owned, and my younger brother has nothing. I disagree. He wont move and even shouted at her last week, because the bungalow she saw went to another buyer. I got so upset because I worry about her.


For years she has insisted my younger brother gets the house and lives in it till he dies.. The rest of us have tried to talk sense to her. As we don't want any inheritance, after my brother dies, it all goes to government. my only concern is her care.

Keep_pedalling

snoop2008 wrote: »

You derserve the biggest hug! You've made me cry, you hit the nail on the head. I worry about her, she wont listen to me. I tried to tell her, let him go and make his own life. I cant do much for her, I am severely disabled. she says me and our two other brothers, have our home, be it council or owned, and my younger brother has nothing. I disagree. He wont move and even shouted at her last week, because the bungalow she saw went to another buyer. I got so upset because I worry about her.


For years she has insisted my younger brother gets the house and lives in it till he dies.. The rest of us have tried to talk sense to her. As we don't want any inheritance, after my brother dies, it all goes to government. my only concern is her care.

Has your mother actually made a will? If there is no valid will in place then he wont get to live in it till he dies. Her estate wont end up with the government unless, he does not make a will AND none of your or any of your children out live him.

I think the real problem here may be that your mother is scared of being left alone, so is not prepared to do anything that could risk your younger brother moving out, and I doubt anything or anyone is likely to get her to change her mind.

elsien

If your mum downsizes and frees up some money, then depending on how much she'd lose her pension credit so she might end up having to pay anyway at some point.

Keep_pedalling

elsien wrote: »

If your mum downsizes and frees up some money, then depending on how much she'd lose her pension credit so she might end up having to pay anyway at some point.

Not if she is on an indefinite assessed income period which is likely if she was over 75 in April 2016.

snoop2008

Keep_pedalling wrote: »

Has your mother actually made a will? If there is no valid will in place then he wont get to live in it till he dies. Her estate wont end up with the government unless, he does not make a will AND none of your or any of your children out live him.

I think the real problem here may be that your mother is scared of being left alone, so is not prepared to do anything that could risk your younger brother moving out, and I doubt anything or anyone is likely to get her to change her mind.

That's what I told her, she is scared to live alone.. Its in her will he lives in it till he dies. she said after she has gone, she doesn't care what he does with the house, if it goes to the government then so be it. When left to him, I doubt he would make a will as long as he has a forever home to live in. He has no life skills, gets upset doing the simple task around the house. IGNORES HER for DAYS, sulks like a big spoilt kid. Has no knowledge of house buying, and all the other stuff that goes with it. I told her to teach him, but he gets annoyed. I FEAR For her, but its out of my hands. He has been abusive to her several times in the past and she still tolerates him. My heart is saddened. I feel so much better after a good cry.


I am walking away for my own sanity. Thank you all for your honest replies.. Truly you have all helped me survive today.


Cheers everyone..

csgohan4

snoop2008 wrote: »

That's what I told her, she is scared to live alone.. Its in her will he lives in it till he dies. she said after she has gone, she doesn't care what he does with the house, if it goes to the government then so be it. When left to him, I doubt he would make a will as long as he has a forever home to live in. He has no life skills, gets upset doing the simple task around the house. IGNORES HER for DAYS, sulks like a big spoilt kid. Has no knowledge of house buying, and all the other stuff that goes with it. I told her to teach him, but he gets annoyed. I FEAR For her, but its out of my hands. He has been abusive to her several times in the past and she still tolerates him. My heart is saddened. I feel so much better after a good cry.


I am walking away for my own sanity. Thank you all for your honest replies.. Truly you have all helped me survive today.


Cheers everyone..

Your brother is an adult as well and made his choice to not forward his own career and life and chose to live a life off/ with your mother.


You can try and change his ways, but we are beings of habit and he may be very stubborn.


Same with your mother not letting go and being afraid of being alone which is understandable, but at the same time smothering your brother and harming him.


Just do things you have control over, you have tried your best already.


This is why money and family shouldn't mix. Your mother clearly favours your brother, who does nothing but provide indirect company

snoop2008

Silvertabby wrote: »

Not sure of the exact details, but I believe that if your brother is 60+ by the time your mother needs to go into a care home (if indeed she ever does) then the house can't be sold to pay for the care home fees.

Instead, I assume that the Council will put a charge on the property until your brother sells it.

Good morning everyone! Well I have been reading up on stuff. Xylophone thank you for the website.. Silvertabby and Csgohan, you both mentioned a charge on the property..


Here is what I found or trying to understand. its a bit confusing, but my main concern here is long term care from what I am reading, regarding deferred payment look what is says here:


Taken from Money advice service.








Am I eligible to use a deferred payment agreement?

To take part in a deferred payment scheme:

• You should have savings and capital of less than a certain amount, not including the value of your home (in England this is £23,250) – funding arrangements are different in Scotland, Wales and Northern Ireland, so check with your local authority.
• You should be a homeowner or have another asset that the local authority can use as security.
• There should be no-one else living in the property who needs to stay there, such as a spouse, partner, dependent child, a relative aged over 60, or someone who is sick or disabled.
• You should be in, or planning to be in, a care home for the long-term – you won’t be able to take out a deferred payment agreement for temporary stays in care.

Assuming my mum could need long term care, my brother would need to move out if he is still living with my mum when he turns 60, which he will be. He would then be homeless the very thing she is trying to avoid.


On the other hand this website Age uk says this:




Does my home have to be included in the means test?

In some situations, your home won’t be taken into account in the means test. There are a few circumstances where this applies:

• If you need temporary or short-term care only, your home won’t be included in the means test.

Your home also won’t be counted if it’s still occupied by:

• your partner or former partner, unless they are estranged from you
• your estranged or divorced partner IF they are also a lone parent
• a relative who is aged 60 or over
• a child of yours aged under 18
• a relative who is disabled.

So I am guessing the difference with my brother moving, depends on long/or short term care. am I right peeps.

badmemory

The main issue will be if he will be over 60 when she needs a care home. If he is then no problem, if he isn't & also isn't disabled then he will need to move at some point because of the charge.

p00hsticks

snoop2008 wrote: »

Assuming my mum could need long term care, my brother would need to move out if he is still living with my mum when he turns 60, which he will be. He would then be homeless the very thing she is trying to avoid.

No he won't (under the current rules). I think you are misunderstanding the paragraph highlighted in bold that you have quoted from the Money Advice service. If any of those conditions are true (spouse, relative over 60 or diasabled etc living in the house) then there is no need for a deferred payment agreement because the house will be completely ingnored for the purposes of care home costs.

You said yesterday that you were going to "walk away from this for your own sanity", and in my opinion that's what you should do. They're both adults who seem happy with their situation, and from the sound of it you are not going to change anything so just accept that and leave them to it.