New start to pay off my debts.

Mumoffourkids

Well thanks for your words of wisdom. At no point have I said I am not going to pay them back, but why shouldn't my kids have a few treats.

To be honest, paying back at least £800 a month is a lot. The treats that I am describing are not going to bring my debt free date forward by much to be honest.

It's not like I buy my kids the latest phones and computers and tablets. My kids are used to having refurbished or second hand stuff and it doesn't bother them. My eldest works even though she is only 15 and this is because I have brought her up to have a good work ethic.

I came on here for advice and I am sure I am not the only one who has paid off their debts whilst still having a bit of a life.

And I deserve nothing more than beans, rice, running water and a light bulb until I have paid off my debts is quite frankly rude.

Bublin1

It's not rude hun.
It's fact - but of course it's not in the literal sense that you should eat beans and rice and you should have known that.
It means living as basic as you can because really and truly anyone in debt does not deserve 'treats' until it is paid off.

The truth hurts but the truth will get you debt free. I will not type what you want to hear, I will type what will get your bank account to zero instead of minus.

The 'I deserve' lie that we have all been fed is exactly why we are in debt.

The wealthy do not think like the poor - which is why they are wealthy. They buy what they can afford and what they can afford is what they deserve.

zippygeorgeandben

You're indulging in treats for your children because you want to feel better about yourself. But short term gain equates to long term pain sadly. Do any of your children take part in after school clubs? is this what the £140 goes on? Over £300 on entertainment each month is simply not right.

Mumoffourkids

zippygeorgeandben wrote: »

You're indulging in treats for your children because you want to feel better about yourself. But short term gain equates to long term pain sadly. Do any of your children take part in after school clubs? is this what the £140 goes on? Over £300 on entertainment each month is simply not right.

I'm treating my children because their dad doesn't bother much with them.

The four oldest play rugby and my oldest is actually very good. She plays for the county even though she is three years younger than a lot of the other players in her team. She has also been selected to go for regional trials so I spend a lot on stuff for her for rugby including petrol to get to matches and training.

Two of the other girls go to gymnastics classes once a week and my son does cross country and football after school.

Three of the kids also get a little bit if pocket money each week for helping me round the house. This necessary otherwise I would be completely exhausted with working and doing everything in the house.

Yes entertainment is high and is one of the areas I am going to cut down. I think that figure included other stuff not just entertainment, like decorating items. Or that is what it has been spent on. In addition it is amazing the amount of things I have to pay for for the kids at school. There is at least one payment a week if a school trip, or charity day, or something needed for lessons. It all adds up and i need to work out how to budget for these kind of school costs.

Takeaway_Addict

Mumoffourkids wrote: »

Ahh I see what you mean now. I will have a think because at the moment, nothing comes to mind straight away of things like this. But as I said I will go through my soa again and see if I can split anything else out.

Use a note pad on your phone to record what you spend ad hoc

Mumoffourkids

Takeaway_Addict wrote: »

Use a note pad on your phone to record what you spend ad hoc

At the moment I have just started using ynab so I am going to track my spends that way. But I trying to have nsd's as much as possible now.

thegreenone

I used to dread the letters in the school bag for money for something or other and I have two children!




After reading your thread, my initial thought was to pay down the debt, cut where you can but also to add another weeks camping at May half-term. Whatever others say, it's family being together and life skills eg cooking on the bbq, putting the tent up etc. Also, could you write/email to your children's schools and ask for a list of all that is happening for the school year, so you can budget? My sons' school did this each September and it helped enormously.

Mumoffourkids

thegreenone wrote: »

I used to dread the letters in the school bag for money for something or other and I have two children!




After reading your thread, my initial thought was to pay down the debt, cut where you can but also to add another weeks camping at May half-term. Whatever others say, it's family being together and life skills eg cooking on the bbq, putting the tent up etc. Also, could you write/email to your children's schools and ask for a list of all that is happening for the school year, so you can budget? My sons' school did this each September and it helped enormously.

I know what you mean about the letters from the school. With four kids at school, there is always something to be paid for!

I have thought about taking the kids camping in may half-term. I am lucky in that the four kids actually get two weeks off in may and I looked at camping near us for four nights an it would cost us £65 for the whole lot of us on an electric pitch. Well to me that is nothing and some of my most relaxing times are when I am camping with the kids.

nkkingston

I can see why if their dad isn't involved you want to treat them, but the best treat you can give them is being there when he isn't. Focus on activities you can do as a family (like camping at half term!) and when it comes to treats, look for things that bring everyone around the kitchen table together rather than sat in their own rooms. With six kids, it's hard, but if you can try and make time to spend with them individually as well, so they feel like they're getting personalised quality time. That's what's going to stay with them as they grow up, not a Macdonald's here or a new app for their phone there.

Mumoffourkids

Thanks nkkingston, yes I have been thinking I need to spend individual time with each of the kids. This is something I am going to try and build into the week but it will be hard finding the time. Even if I only do two kids a week that would be a start.