Pension questions

atush

CB is in my name as i pay all the bills via direct debit, it's easier that way

Make it a joint acount and get the CB in her name pronto. You are throwing away money.

Or if you dont want a joint acct with the mother of your child, set up a DD paying in the CB to your acct each month.

Due to a law change, making her dependent on you 100% financially, with no money of her own even CB is 'controlling' and can be part of domestic abuse.

In the mean time, she can sign up at the jobcenter for courses during school hours to improve her employbility for part time work. Help with CVs etc too.

Child care would be a good place to start.

Number75

I'm sorry to hear of your life limiting medical condition. Please forgive me being practical about it.

If your wife is likely to long outlive you as you suggest, she needs to start earning asap. The long term financially sensible decision here could be for you to work part time around your son, and for her to work full time.