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Teeny tiny steps

Just over a year ago, I realised my debt was out of control. I’d begun to real worry about money and looking for help online, I found out about DMP. I filled out the questionnaire, received my application by email and then totally ignored it while taking on more credit to solve the problem....

10 months later, and all of a sudden, I’m struggling again. 11 months later and I’m spending hours throwing up in the toilet because I’m so stressed. Exhausted because I can’t sleep. Telling fib after fib to my friends about why I can’t go out, why I can’t ring them back. Ashamed that I have to ask my little sister for a loan when I should be the one helping her out. Guilty that I backed out of my friend’s wedding at short notice, probably ruining things between us forever. And mainly just angry at myself for never learning.

And then I end up on Stepchange’s website again. I complete one questionnaire and they suggest DMP. The payment seems reasonable - actually *too* reasonable. That’s when I realised I had forgotten to include some of my debts entirely. I enter the information again and get a more eye watering figure. Deep down, I knew that I should pursue this but I needed time to get used to the idea. But when my phone gets cut off again and I’m back in the phone box in the freezing cold to tell my creditors I can’t pay them, it’s the final straw.

Last weekend, after overtime had finished, I printed the DMP paperwork out. As soon as I pressed print, I raced to the printer and guarded it with my life in case anyone noticed what I was doing. I then transported it home in a giant envelope. I felt like Mr Bean.

Nothing much has happened since. I needed a new bank account so I booked an appointment with Virgin Money to apply. When I get accepted (if?) I’ll be sending off my paperwork to Stepchange although I’m sure just before Christmas probably isn’t the best time. Timing can be added to budgeting and discreetly carrying envelopes on the list of things I’m rubbish at.

I’ve also told the first person that I’m going for a DMP. it was the chase guy at Barclaycard. He was nice about it. I felt good that I’d said it out loud, even though I currently have no plans to tell anyone I’m close to. Maybe that will come in time but that time definitely isn’t now.

And now I’ve started a diary, so I have to commit to this. Where I want to be seems a million miles away. I’ve only got little legs but I’m starting to realise that I will get there eventually.
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Comments

  • It sounds like you've made the right decision and when it's all sorted the relief will make you wish you'd done it months ago. Stepchange are brilliant.

    Good luck :).
    Finally Debt Free After 34 Years, But Still Need to Live Frugally
    Debt in July 2017 = £58,766 😱 DEBT FREE 31 OCTOBER 2017 :T 🎉
    EMERGENCY FUND 1 = £50/£5,000. EMERGENCY FUND 2 = £10/£5,000.
    CHRISTMAS SAVINGS = £0/£500. SEF = £1,400/£12,000 PREMIUM BONDS ME = £350. PREMIUM BONDS DH = £300.
    HOLIDAY MONEY = £0 TIME LEFT TO PAY OFF MORTGAGE = 5 YEARS 1 MONTHS
  • UncannyScot
    UncannyScot Posts: 2,070 Forumite
    Sixth Anniversary 1,000 Posts Photogenic
    Hello and welcome :D

    You're taking those all important first steps on your journey to dealing with your debts and getting debt free.

    We are all on the same journey here, so if there is anything you need to know just post up, if we can help, we will... we're kind of good at that ;)

    So, join in, visit folks diaries, read, comment and become part of this great community here
    BUGGRITMILLENIUMHANDANDSHRIMP I TOLD EM! - Foul Ole Ron
    It is important that we know where we come from, because if you do not know where you come from, then you do not know where you are, and if you don't know where you are, then you don't know where you are going. If you don't know where you're going, you're probably going wrong.
    R.I.P. T.P.
  • Popping in to wish you lots of luck with your goal.

    Have a read of the DMP thread on the main DFW board, it's full of great advice. I'm on a DMP with Stepchange as well and I found it a good source of info when I first started on my journey.
    VSPC 2019 #10 - £168.80/£100 VSPC 2020 #4 - £262.03/£200 VSPC 2021 #9 - £242.88/£200 VSPC 2022 #3 - £188.03/£200 VSPC 2023 #7 - £0/£200
  • doingitanyway
    doingitanyway Posts: 10,300 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 10,000 Posts Name Dropper Mortgage-free Glee!
    Good luck with your goals. Teeny steps are fine, just keep going forward.
    If you have built castles in the air, your work should not be lost; that is where they should be. Now put the foundations under them

    Emergency fund 3501000
    Buffer fund 0/100
    Debt Free (again) 25/072025
  • MMC87
    MMC87 Posts: 64 Forumite
    10 Posts
    Thank you, guys :)

    So last night I made another step towards Destination Debtfree. I have recently got a zero hours contract job doing event work (bars, ticketing etc) and last night I had my first shift.

    Such is my luck at the moment that getting there was a battle. Train cancellations and horrendous traffic meant public transport was not going to get me there on time and I ended up needing a taxi. It cost me the first hour and a half of wages but I’d have been really late and they made it clear that timekeeping was a big factor in getting more work. I’d left an extra 45 minutes on top of my journey time yesterday so for my shift today, I’ll leave 90 - just to be safe!

    It was quite hard work considering I’ve already worked 38 hours this week but I feel a few weekend shifts per month are definitely doable. It will be a huge help for when my DMP starts, either to add extra payment or just to cover me for unexpected expenditures.

    I had wondered if I’d see anyone I knew at the event and I did end up serving a friend. We went to university together - one of the better, more traditional places. I’d have been expected to spend at this event, but not work there. ‘How did you get roped into doing this?’ asked. ‘Just a favour for a friend’ I lied.

    I’m not ashamed though. I don’t want to feel ‘happy’ about my DMP because it’s a sign that I’ve failed in something I promised to do. But getting extra work and showing I’m serious about sorting out my problems (even just to myself) matters to me.

    I’m back there tonight. I got into bed at midnight last night and expecting the same. I have to be up around 5:30am on Sunday for a different job so I’m feeling a little worried. But I’m thankful just to have the work, and that’s what I’ll keep telling myself.
  • Well done for making the first steps to tackle your debt! Just make sure that you don't run yourself down by doing too much... Will you have to pay more on your DMP if you up your hours or is it a set figure?
    Keep going - you're doing great!
    ETA x
  • MMC87
    MMC87 Posts: 64 Forumite
    10 Posts
    EscapingtheAlarm, from what I have learned on this forum, I don’t have to declare money from this second job as it’s zero hours contract and therefore no regular hours or payment. In theory, I might not get any hours from them from one month to the next, depending on what sort of events they have planned and whether it can fit around my work. So it’s just a bit of extra cash - emergency fund or maybe more towards DMP on an ad hoc basis.

    I definitely need to be cautious about over working myself. Saturday was such a killer. The bar I worked on was packed all night. Didn’t even get to ask my work buddy his name! There just wasn’t time. It was nuts and I was aching on the way home. I have got some mild issues with back problems and also scaitica so I need to be careful!
  • MMC87
    MMC87 Posts: 64 Forumite
    10 Posts
    A little update. My Virgin Money basic account is confirmed and I’ve now spoken to all but one of my creditors. The one I’m bolding back on is Nationwide (personal loan and overdraft). I want to ensure my December salary is paid into Virgin before I let them know as I’m worried they could take money from account and leave me stuffed for January. I do feel bad as I’m £199 in arrears to them and might have to make a token payment next month.
  • Are you able to tell us anything about your debts, in terms of the numbers?
  • Have you solved the problem of why you are getting into debt?

    May be worth considering the psychological issues around spending 9if that is the problem) or getting professional help for other causes (gambling, addictions etc)
    Debt is a symptom, solve the problem.
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