Am I a fool?

ReadingTim

Mnd wrote: »

150 between you? When I was working adding our salaries together would only have got a third of that.
If 1 was earning 95k and my longterm partner had money worries then I would solve it (I did but not at huge levels)
I would not expect any further problems mind, but on that sort of money you shouldn't have any money worries at all

Remember the bit at the top about this forum it being a place for help and support and not judgement? I see lots of the latter and not much of the former in this post.

Just because the OP earns more than you, it doesn't mean they need help any less.

FatVonD

Could you use your annual leave from your full time job to reduce your working week to four days for the next few months and do your freelance work on the fifth day?

ViolaLass

Your day-to-day job values your time at something like £24 per hour (plus benefits). How about raising your freelancing to at least the same level?
Would you get offered less? (good for you) or would you earn more? (good for you) or a bit of both? (also good)

milobrulee

Mnd wrote: »

150 between you? When I was working adding our salaries together would only have got a third of that.
If 1 was earning 95k and my longterm partner had money worries then I would solve it (I did but not at huge levels)
I would not expect any further problems mind, but on that sort of money you shouldn't have any money worries at all

Yep, he does assist me by paying £2000 per month which covers our rent and also leaves a surplus of £450 which goes to pay off one of my credit cards so that I can focus harder on the rest myself.

I will post an SOA when I have the bills in front of me but I know that I need to cut down my "everything else money" massively, it's £500 a month (far too much) so that can be cut to the bone to account for the £500 lost.

My mini-SOA is:

Income: £2725 + £500
Travel: £325
Bills (all bundled): £700
Everything else money (holidays, entertainment, groceries): £500
Debt repayment: £1700

I am well aware that I am a very lucky person IRT my income, no doubt about it (and I used to be on this forum and would be wide-eyed at my salary when I was only earning £18k!) and I hope there is no judgement there. You can see that I currently pay off £1700 but if I lose the £500, then either it would reduce that debt repayment value, or would cut my general spends. I think I need to reduce my "everything else" pot as £500 is a lot now I see it written down. If I could cut that down to £150 then I would only need to shave off £150 from the debt repayment and still manage to pay off my debt by the end of 2018.

milobrulee

thegrind wrote: »

You don't need to be debt free to get a decent mortgage your full time income is more than enough to comfortably cover the debts in the eyes of a mortgage application.

It was more that I cannot really save towards a deposit when I have outstanding debt, as I was under the impression that was considered a bad idea when you have debt to stick money in savings. One is costing you money in interest, and the other is not gaining anything sat in a savings account.

So I was always planning that as soon as I got to be debt free, the entire of my current debt repayment would become my monthly savings towards a deposit.

armchairexpert

You earn £500 a month by working 10 hours (that's a dreadful hourly rate!) and never having any leisure time in the evenings. You also budget £325 a month for travel, is that on top of your 'everything else' £500? And that's because you feel you have to keep up with your OH in regards to holidays?

Personally, I'd rather have my evenings back and less holidays. I understand how you feel about anxiety and deadlines - I'm a freelancer with anxiety, I get it. But even without the anxiety in the mix, that's just a ridiculous use of time. You have basically no leisure time during the week at all, all so that you can keep up with your OH's lifestyle expectations.

I understand that he's paying the rent. But in general, it sounds like he's setting the expectations for your combined living standards, and you're giving up any leisure time to do so.

A combined income of £145K and no dependents? And you don't ever have an hour in the evening to read a book, for the sake of an extra £6K (5%) a year? You two need to sit down and discuss your overall priorities. It doesn't have to include you convincing him that anxiety is a real thing. It just has to include you two, as a team, living your lives today as well as tomorrow.

Also, I understand that you're worried about balance transfers, but if some of your debts are on that kind of APR, it really probably is worth taking the risk and seeing if you can get one. Even if it's a small one.

determined_new_ms

I've just seen your thread as I was about to get ready for work so haven't read anything other than the opening post, so sorry if this has been covered. But have you been to speak to your doctor about your anxiety? I suffered with anxiety for such a long time and recently did and have been taking medication and it has had such a positive impact on how I now feel. It is worth exploring

Happier_Me

I would be trying to rearrange the debt to a 0% or low rate card/s. The eligibility calculator on this website uses a soft search so won't affect your credit rating and it will give you a good indication of the probability of getting a card accepted. If you can reduce the interest you are paying and trim some spends down then the £500 loss in income won't be felt so much.

I'd also do what has been suggested and up your hourly rate and request an extension to the work and/or for the workload to be reduced. If they say no the contract ends and the decision has been made for you. Depending on negotiations it could see your debt cleared much sooner.

You also need to talk to your partner. I am betting that once the debt has gone he will still expect you to continue your freelance work 'to put towards the deposit', 'to even up earnings a little' etc. The fact is he earns more than you by a fair chunk. Either you go 50/50 and he lives within YOUR means, saving any of his surplus. Or he shares his earnings, without strings attached, to fund the lifestyle HE wants with you.

gizmorat

Mental health and wellbeing before everything else, pretty much.

Well done for making significant progress on paying down your debt, but any plan that affects your wellbeing is not sustainable in the long term.

You might be trying to do too much at once and risk tying yourself up in mental knots.

I really think you will benefit from *actually* doing the full SOA and outlining your plan so that other people can check your rationale, which should give you confidence that it's achievable without unnecessary stress.

FWIW I did a whole bunch of stressful freelancing and it wasn't worth it. Adding up the total time spent doing it, talking about it, laying awake stressing about it ect. then dividing by the actual income I realised that I'd have been far better off flipping burgers.

milobrulee

armchairexpert wrote: »

You earn £500 a month by working 10 hours (that's a dreadful hourly rate!) and never having any leisure time in the evenings. You also budget £325 a month for travel, is that on top of your 'everything else' £500? And that's because you feel you have to keep up with your OH in regards to holidays?

No that is my travel to work. My monthly season ticket.