Fallen off the wagon (so to speak!)

iwanttobreakfree

Well guys I'm sorry I have just made an absolute mess of my finances yet again! Spending on credit cards not a clue what money is where - its a nightmare.

I feel completely lost like I dont know how to pick up and start again - help me guys I know this site makes me feel so motivated usually. I know my spending sprees always result from feeling unhappy etc but I cannot seem to break the cycle this time - I don't know why.

Does anyone know of a website or a book somewhere that can help me understand more about me and why I act the way I do (I sound mad don't I) its just I cant afford therapy obviously!

Thanks in advance x

findingmyownway

Welcome back, don't feel so bad - everyone slips up now and again. They key this time is you know whats happened and want to take steps to improving this again.

Maybe its time for a new current SOA?

iwanttobreakfree

possibly - I'm just looking at my balances. All the challenges I've took on I have more than failed - maybe I try too many challenges??

Will get my SOA up asap.

I'm so fed up of being in debt but god its so hard - people who have never been there can scoff all they like but I think it is very difficult because you just have to have so much willpower!

I really want to come out the other side debt free one day with nothing but a mortgage to my name!

Gemmzie

I have those Paul blokes (the hypnotherapy guy) tracks about spending, pretty good, if you PM me your email then I'll send them to you tomorrow evening - worth a go

iwanttobreakfree

I already have those and I didn't really rate it - maybe I didn't do it right - but that thumb trick he talks about doesn't work for me

cat4772

:grouphug: IWTBF :grouphug:

Ah hun, to misquote a maxim or two "don't try to run before you can walk" and "one step at a time"!

First step really has to be keep a complete spending diary to account for every penny coming in and every penny going out (I found this helped to pinpoint how I was feeling when I made an impulse purchase - amazing that I always had the urge to spend when I'd had a bad day, or Dh and I argued or something; it was a comfort thing!)

When you know where your money's going, then try to set a budget. Best trick I found was only to take cash with me - handing over cold hard cash was a bit of a reality check and made me think twice about handing it over.

Go to your library and borrow every self help book going, one may have part of the answer and others the rest. Alvin Hall and Martin's books are good. Can't think what the other book was but it struck a cord with me (think the author was templar and it was about lessons in life or something - I've read so many I forget).

Good luck, Cat.x

iwanttobreakfree

yeah i have those 2 which i have found sooo helpful but I cant get to the root of my emotional problems if that makes sense and id like to. I tried the whole cash in purse thing and I just ignored that it ran out and got more!

cat4772

lol! You could always get on a waiting list for free counselling to help with understanding the problem: visit your GP and ask to be referred for counselling. I know that in Leeds they have a "triage" assessment system where everyone referred for counselling is seen by someone and referred to the appropriate area; reduces the waiting list apparently. Not sure whether the system has been rolled out across the country yet. Telling them you're depressed because of debts wouldn't hurt!

TV makes it look easy doesn't it, but they all seem to have seen a psychologist / life coach at some point! Keeping a diary might help, going through your memories of money from early childhood to now might also help things to fall into place in your mind.

good luck, Cat.x

JoeHel

I am absolutely terrible at buying things on a whim that I don't need at all. The only way I've managed to curb this and stick to my budget this month is to cut my credit cards up and only have my allowed "budget" in cash in my purse that my OH gives me on a Friday. He holds my bank card and I know that's literally ALL the money I'm going to have, so I can't go mad with it or there's no more!!

iwanttobreakfree

They do make it look so easy! If only we could afford life coaches!

I think I'm going to try the envelope technique again - I dont really fancy having cash hanging around but its the only way.

My OH is throwing a spanner in the works now - we were considering moving in with my parents to help get rid of debt and save money for a deposit for a house. He has now said only way he will do this is if we can save for a holiday to Australia to visit his sister in the next 12 months (so we're looking at least £1500 each!). I personally think we have much bigger priorities but he says that is the only way he will do it - otherwise we keep living where we are now and having virtually no money.

What can I say to that?

Miss_Marple_2

Gemmzie wrote: »

I have those Paul blokes (the hypnotherapy guy) tracks about spending, pretty good, if you PM me your email then I'll send them to you tomorrow evening - worth a go

Hi Gemmzie - Do you think you could send them to me as well ? I don't want to just PM you out of the blue, but will send my e-mail if you say it's OK. I really would appreciate it, as I definitely need some help with my emotional spending. Thankyou