New job not working out

boozybuttons

Hi

I recently started a new job 8-9 weeks ago. Unfortunately this job is not what it was stated as and I am feeling stressed. To the point where my doctor is worried for me and wants me to take time off to deal with stress. I suffer from depression and anxiety.

I have been working really hard but I feel it is all overwhelming. My manager is now of my issues. I have a few interviews coming up but unsure if i am just overreacting.

I feel like my manager is the one responsible for me feeling this way and i find it hard to confront or deal with conflict. I also feel like I have very little support although someone has been hired to help mentor me. I find it very difficult to explain my thoughts and feelings and usually bottle things up.

I just feel like its all too late though and im keen to move forward. I feel anxious about work.
I can;t take time off work due to the probation period pay, which is on statutory sick pay. Therefore I cannot afford to be off sick.

In addition, if I were to leave I am unsure how I would say/explain why im leaving. My contract states that I need to give a 3 month notice however my work for other reasons can give me a months notice. If I am still in my probation period, can I negotiate this to a month? is that reasonable?

I feel like im stuck in a rut here. and guilty that I may be potentially leaving after a short time, but i also feel that if im feeling like this that I have to look after myself and whats best for me. Unfortunately I just feel like im running away.

Has anyone else felt like this? I can explain further if necessary but I am looking for some assurance i guess.

Thanks

Victoria

TELLIT01

Not speaking to anybody about the issues you are having isn't going to solve anything. You need to let somebody know that you are struggling in the job, and why. Only if people know there is a problem can they try to help.

sangie595

You can ask to negotiate notice - but they don't have to agree to.

TBH, it is exceptional for an employer to hire a mentor for someone, so I am not seeing the lack of support; although I would totally agree with the comment that they cannot fix what you don't tell them is broken!

My question would be - what makes you think somewhere else will be any different? Set aside the depression and anxiety just for one minute. A three month notice period suggests you are not at the lower rungs of the organisation. So is this level of job (and pay) going to be achievable somewhere else, without the attendant pressures? Or are you prepared to take a step down for less pressure? Most people feel overwhelmed and unsure of themselves in the first stages of a job - are you sure that the pressure isn't coming more from yourself than from elsewhere? What makes you think that you aren't doing a good job?

In the end, if you don't want to stay in the job, nobody can make you, and only a silly person would try to. But make sure that you are making the right decision and for the right reasons.

ReadingTim

The whole point of a probationary period is for both the employer and employee to see how it's working out, and part company with relative ease if it's not. So, whilst the employee can be fired with relative ease, they can also leave with the same relative ease.

It's odd that there's an imbalance re. notice periods, so I'd re-read your contract, but in terms of reasons, I think it's perfectly fair to give a relatively bland reason such as "the job isn't what I expected it to be/isn't working out/isn't for me" and leave it at that - I can't image they'll be too concerned, given you haven't been in the job for that long.

In terms of interviews, try and schedule them at the very beginning or end of the day and come in late or leave early - new employers understand you've got a job currently, and can't always take a day off sick. If they don't understand, they're probably not worth working for. Alternatively, you simply have to stick it out until you're out of your probationary period before arranging interviews, or take the hit and lose the money for a day or two a month. Only you know if you can afford to do that.

Finally though, will a new job be any better? What's really the cause of the issues - the current job, or the mental health issues you mention? There's no shame in "running away" from the job, if that's what's causing the problems. But if it's your mental health that's the underlying issue, this needs to be faced, rather than run away from.

Sarastro

Have you asked your a GP for a referral to a secondary mental health team? You should see if there is an employment support service from your local mental health trust and ask your GP to be referred to that. In some areas you can refer yourself. They will help you with a plan for managing your MH issues and for disclosure to your employer, and what they can do to help you.

A common part of anxiety and depression are the unrealistic thought patterns that can easily leave you feeling very powerful things, like being overwhelmed or 'not coping'. You are feeling overwhelmed, but that doesn't mean you are overwhelmed. Can you think of another time when you felt like this? What happened then?

If your current employer is reasonably sympathetic to MH issues and is supportive, I'd suggest you try and stay there and see if you can work through things. Hiring a mentor for you is unusual and pretty amazing actually - so they obviously value you and want you to stay.