Friend in serious problems

dronid

Not quite sure where to post this so here goes!

A friend of ours is in a bit of bother. He’s being seeing someone for several years. Both are on disability benefit. The person he’s seeing is, essentialy a bit of a waster and currently controls the house finances. Our friend has just found out that he is, running up debts, has extended the overdraft to over £1000 pounds and essentially has run our friends finances into the ground. He also hides the letters/ statements/ bills/ final demands and court action letters all of which are either joint or in our friends name. Things have come to a head when he found a letter regarding an application for a loan in his name which his partner had requested in his name and had faked his signature.

His partner has had a history of aggressive behaviour so, essentially I am trying to find the best way to disentangle our friend’s finances and then disentangle him with as little risk to our friend as possible!

I wondered if anyone was aware of a way to set up a bank account where the statements details etc went to a different address (i.e. ours) from his own so that he can be sure he’s getting all his mail and can start seperating out his finances..

Needless to say they also have the worst account imaginable charging them £12 a month just for the Nat West account!

And any other suggestions would be helpful!

Floss

Nat West will change from the £12/m Advantage Gold with a phone call or a visit to a branch...just say that you don't use the services (but by changing, they will incurr an overdraft charge & higher interest charge, possibly also on a Nat West loan if he's done that too)

What about their home - is it rented? Has the rent been paid or is it HB?

DebtFree2015_3

Hi

I would make an appointment with the CAB. They are really good and do not charge for the advice.
http://www.citizensadvice.org.uk/contact_us.htm

There is also the national Debtline:

FREEPHONE: 0808 808 4000
Monday to Friday 9am to 9pm
Saturday 9.30am to 1pm
24-hour voicemail. Please leave a message to request an information pack or factsheet.

http://www.nationaldebtline.co.uk/england_wales/

Hope these bits are helpful to you & your friend.

Sounds like his partner needs a swift smack to the head!!!!!:mad: (Sorry detest people like that)

Good luck to you & your friend with sorting it all out.

V x

Shineyhappy

I do know of people who dont trust their OHs or flatmates and have their bank statments sent to seperate addresses so it is possible.

Your friend could always tell the bank that they have moved or get online banking and request paper statments be stopped.

Has your friend expressed a desire to seperate from his OH? Just make sure that they definatly want out of the relationship before you get too involved or your mate might end up blaming you for things that obviously arent your fault and so will his OH and then he will be less likely to come to you when the time is right to leave.

I would strongly suggest that you have your mate round one evening and use Experian or an online credit information service. This will show all the debts that your friend is linked with. In fact to be on the safe side I would use two just incase!

Get your friend to open up a seperate bank account with a bank that they dont use already and request the different address.

With Identity fraud going on I would urge you to ask your friend to keep all their important documents elsewhere (ie passport, driving licence, birth certificate)

I hope your friend is ok

dronid

The loan was (fortunately) blocked as they had outstanding debts. Thank heavens!

The flat is through the council and the Housing benefit pays for it - thank goodness, but it's only in our friends name. His partner is wanting to go on the housing agreement before they're permanently rehoused to council property but, needless to say, our friend is really looking to break up in as amicable a fashion as possible and get the place himself. It's very difficult as he lives in an isolated area of East London surrounded by his partners family. His partner is profoundly a control freak!

I am personally furious that anyone can treat anyone else like this!

Floss

Maybe he could speak to his Housing Officer about the situation...and if he thinks identity fraud is a possibility he needs to contact his own bank ASAP & possibly also the police. Your friend's OH has potentially committed fraud by applying for the loans etc. Has he any idea what the money has been spent on?

dronid

Shineyhappy wrote: »

Has your friend expressed a desire to seperate from his OH? Just make sure that they definatly want out of the relationship before you get too involved or your mate might end up blaming you for things that obviously arent your fault and so will his OH and then he will be less likely to come to you when the time is right to leave.

Yes they have in no uncertain terms - they are quite frail though and are quite frightened of what will happen when they do - about the reaction they will face. He is providing a very convenient house/ cooking/ cleaning/ car rental service for his partner at the moment.

Shineyhappy wrote: »

With Identity fraud going on I would urge you to ask your friend to keep all their important documents elsewhere (ie passport, driving licence, birth certificate)

I have suggested so - even if he wants to keep them with us.

Shineyhappy wrote: »

I hope your friend is ok

Thanks - and thanks to all out there. It will provided some much needed reassurance!

Shineyhappy

Whatver happens dont let your friend move out of their home!

Would it be possible for you or another friend stay with this guy whilst his OH moves out and for a few days afterwards? Does the flat have an intercom so he wont have to let him in? I was in a bad position and I had a friend come round and change the locks and put a heavy duty lock on the door which made me feel a lot safer.

I would make sure the documents and bank statments are already out of the flat when the OH starts packing as you dont want him taking any of those by "accident"

dronid

Floss wrote: »

Maybe he could speak to his Housing Officer about the situation...and if he thinks identity fraud is a possibility he needs to contact his own bank ASAP & possibly also the police. Your friend's OH has potentially committed fraud by applying for the loans etc. Has he any idea what the money has been spent on?

He's going to contact his Housing Officer this week.

We may have to go down that route - though he's hoping it won't come to that.

I have a feeling it might.

dronid

Shineyhappy wrote: »

Whatver happens dont let your friend move out of their home!

Absolutely - unless he can be rehoused under domestic violence - which hopefully won't happen. They have security and entryphone but should be being moved to somewhere permanent - rather sadly his partner was keen on staying close to his family so he'll have to change his application for somewhere more accessible.

Shineyhappy wrote: »

Would it be possible for you or another friend stay with this guy whilst his OH moves out and for a few days afterwards?

Unfortunately he's quite a way away from us and as we both work would be a problem. The issue is going to come up when he 'does the deed'! I may have to take some time off to be there.

Shineyhappy wrote: »

I would make sure the documents and bank statments are already out of the flat when the OH starts packing as you dont want him taking any of those by "accident"

Sadly his partner was the one who set up the accounts so he has all the details already. Hence the reason I'm trying to set him up with a private account.

They have a joint account which is where the overdraft is sitting. They need to get rid of it but everytime any money goes in it's spent immediately.

The whole thing is so frustrating and I cannot express my anger!

I'm just glad were both able to be there for him.

dinkytwostep

Please get your friend to contact Experian (not sure if free trial is still available or not). not only will he know what debt is against his name - but more importantly, he can contact experian to ask them to password protect any future transactions. he decides the password. It protects him a bit from his OH in that any 'new' account application be it loan or CC or whatever will have to have the password before it's processed. CAB may be able to advise. Good luck