How do you know when a relationship has run it's race.

Pollycat

frannyj543 wrote: »

You may have but not everyone. You would be very naive to believe everyone marries for love.

There's lots of people who marry because they are running out of time to have a family or that by being married provides them with a financial secure partnership.

I'm not disputing that.
It's the "30 years ago" that I find hard to believe.
And even more so of today.

onomatopoeia99

frannyj543 wrote: »

There's lots of people who marry because they are running out of time to have a family or that by being married provides them with a financial secure partnership.

:eek: How many of the people doing this for those reasons are men?

Scorpio33

Personally, I don't believe in divorce, I meant my vows of till death us do part.

Saying that, if I had to put a time on when to give up on a marriage, it would only be when I truely feel that I have done absolutely everything to improve things. That includes talking, counselling (individual and couple) and what ever else that can be done. If a marriage does split up I think it is simply due to people giving up too easily. People change as time does and needs and wants also change. The key is that you feel that your partner and you are supporting each other, even if you disagree with their opinion.

Saying that, if I was in a relationship where I wasn't in the relationship for long, wasn't married with no ties, and I was young, I would give up on those relationships easier as you need to enjoy the younger relationships - that should be the time when you are happy.

Scorpio33

frannyj543 wrote: »

You may have but not everyone. You would be very naive to believe everyone marries for love.

There's lots of people who marry because they are running out of time to have a family or that by being married provides them with a financial secure partnership.

I don't think there is anything wrong with that alternative approach per say, as long as both people in the relationship see it for what it is. The problem comes when this approach is taken (usually by the female) and once the family and stability is there, she is unhappy as she isn't in Love. That leaves the other half completely in the dark about things and stuck in a relationship with someone that they don't get any Love from.

Pollycat

How do you know when a relationship has run it's race.

In answer to the OP's question:
maybe when your partner issues you with an ultimatum that the relationship is over if you go to a stag party

seven-day-weekend

Can't really remember - I've been married to the man I love since 1971

However before that I was engaged to someone I thought I loved. I was only 17. He was 25. I just woke up one morning and found I didn't respect him any more. So I finished it, much to his anguish.

AubreyMac

onomatopoeia99 wrote: »

:eek: How many of the people doing this for those reasons are men?

I know men who marry for status.

AubreyMac

Scorpio33 wrote: »

Personally, I don't believe in divorce, I meant my vows of till death us do part.

Saying that, if I had to put a time on when to give up on a marriage, it would only be when I truely feel that I have done absolutely everything to improve things. That includes talking, counselling (individual and couple) and what ever else that can be done. If a marriage does split up I think it is simply due to people giving up too easily. People change as time does and needs and wants also change. The key is that you feel that your partner and you are supporting each other, even if you disagree with their opinion.

Saying that, if I was in a relationship where I wasn't in the relationship for long, wasn't married with no ties, and I was young, I would give up on those relationships easier as you need to enjoy the younger relationships - that should be the time when you are happy.

I used to have the same beliefs as you. My asian family are very traditional and separation/divorce is unheard of and frowned upon even if one partner cheated or was physically abusive.


11 years ago I was in love and engaged. I'm so glad that engagement never resulted in actual marriage as his life has spiralled downwards since and I would have felt obliged to stay (and waste my life) if I had made vows.


But to answer the OP's questions, I knew it was time to go when I didn't care whether he lived or died anymore.

tealady

Years ago someone told me tha a relationship is truly over when you feel neither love nor hate only indiference.
Found that to be mostly true.