Are there any sort of 'accountability/buddy services or options?

Anoneemoose

Hi,

I just wondered if anyone knew of a service or charity that offered an accountability buddy to help with mindless fittering?

My issue is boredom and illness. Due to being stuck in the house, I (and hubby, although he works) just spend mindlessly. We use YNAB and it has helped but we still seem to overspend.

We have credit card debt which is on 0% for 3 years, but it has recently crept up.

I do try and budget for all eventualities but something seems to crop up!

Anyway, I had thought of doing a Debt Free Diary but I feel there's always the option to just stop if I slip up!

Income and expenses wise, we should be fine. We have a decent income and plenty for essentials and some luxuries too.

Sorry for rambling and thanks for any advice you can give.

Anoneemoose

This is a thread I posted in mumsnet recently, explaining the situation, just to give a bit more information.


Hi everyone,

Haven't posted on here for aaages so hope you don't mind offering advice.

I am stuck in a rut whereby I (and hubby to be fair) spend without thinking. We have consolidated in the past but still end up with a perpetual £5000 on our credit card (0% interest luckily for a good while). In fairness, we have had some house renovations done, including a new kitchen and bathroom - with money either gifted or set aside- but we always end up spending more than we allocate. We also spent nearly £1000 therapy for me to overcome bulimia and disordered eating, which I must say, was worth every penny. In truth though, that is not the main cause of overspending. It's frittering. Spending a couple of £100 on credit cards each month, kidding ourselves we would pay it off, which we did, but then we'd spend more. With the amount gradually increasing.

A few things have contributed to my spending. I have ME/CFS and Fibromyalgia and it restricts me in a lot of ways..the main one being that I am often stuck in the same four walls because I can't work anymore. I am lucky that I am able to 'potter' and do the odd bits, but most stuff leaves me exhausted and in pain. So, I order things off Amazon and eBay like they're going out of fashion! Sometimes it's stuff we need. Sometimes it's stuff for my hobby (I make and decorate cakes when I can). Some of the stuff I do actually need for making the cakes but I have made a few expensive purchases that were not really necessary.

We do have a YNAB account, but often don't bother looking at it before spending. Our groceries are expensive because I struggle to cook and hubby is often too tired after work (he has quite a busy, mentally taxing job). So we end up with takeaways (which of course aren't cheap).

My kids are picky eaters, in the sense they like opposite things to each other. One example is my son loves spag bol, yet my daughter doesn't like tomato based things. I often suffer from nausea too so in the past, when I have prepped something for dinner, I often end up borking at the thought of it by the time it's cooked.

We've recently started buying a lot of food from M&S-I find it 'safe' for my eating issues as in my opinions it's better quality than the other shops we have here. We use their offers so it actually works out quite reasonable, especially as I know I'll eat the food.

As I said earlier, my main issue is the boredom. Spending gives me something to do and something to look forward to. I don't have many friends anymore because I can't go out and socialise like I used to. Because I was off sick a lot before I eventually left work, my work friendships took a downward turn too. I often felt like the odd one out because I was the only one on odd hours and had my lunches and breaks on my own.

I would give anything to be well, be able to go out and about with friends more (if I had some lol) and I would love to go back to work.

I don't really know what I want from posting but I needed to get it off my chest. I know I need to stop spending on crap, but I worry I will be even more bored.

Just to add, we have a decent income so should be able to have a decent standard of living. I read this back and it may come across as me being depressed (I'm not, I don't think-just frustrated)! I take anti anxiety meds and I am actually 'ok', I just feel I need to stimulate my brain somehow. The trouble with that though, is the fact I often don't have the energy or the brain power.

If you got this far, thank you.

EssexHebridean

You could start a diary on here? That might help you to feel accountable? Yes you could just stop if you let yourself down, but honestly, you've got to start taking responsibility at some stage - so why not now?

Bottom line is that you've identified that it IS just mindless spending - and ultimately it's only you who can stop yourself do it - nobody is going to call round to your house at the click of a "pay now" button and take your card away!

Of course you could just cut up the credit card...that would stop it, I'm guessing?