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Debtfreeinmy40s

Hello, first post from me. I'm about £15k in debt excluding mortgage which is a joint mortgage with my partner. He pays that and has no idea of the state im in. I've worked out my budget and have contacted my creditors and advised them how much I can afford to pay, but was wondering if it's work applying for a 0% balance transfer card and putting at least one of my debts on that whilst I pay off the smallest debt first. I'm planning on doing the snowball method to clear my debts and will hopefully be debtfree in 5 years.
Our joint mortgage is up for renewal and my credit score is currently excellent so I'm hoping my stupidness won't affect the mortgage. I don't want to have to tell my partner as I've got into this situation before and he's bailed me out twice. He said that if i did it again then it's over. Although circumstances have changed now and we have a child together. I don't want him to bail me out, I need to sort this mess out myself as then there is no way I will get back in this situation. I feel desperate and on the verge of tears all the time. I can't sleep at night for worrying about it all.

EssexHebridean

Ahh rough situation - but you're doing the right thing wanting to sort it.

First step is to put together your SOA (Statement of Affairs) - you'll find the link to it in the "Sticky" post at the top of the board here. Fill it out honestly and accurately and post it into here and we can take a look and see if there is anywhere we can identify savings to be made.

The 0% card would usually be a good plan if you qualified - BUT if you're in the process of changing mortgage deal then you may need to hold off on that for the time being as applying will leave a search on your file. For the time being sign up to the MSE credit Club (free to join) - that will not only give you access to your credit reference agency files from Experian but also will show you your likelihood of getting accepted for the current good 0% deals.

The last thing I'll say is that you do need to work out a way of talking to your partner about this - the risk otherwise is that he will find out (in which case he'll feel - rightly - that you've not been honest with him) or that he'll pick up on something not being right and will jump to entirely the wrong conclusion (that you're cheating on him, for example). If the positions were reversed I'm guessing you'd be horrified to think he'd not told you? I get that you might want to put some solid steps in place for dealing with it all though - and actually, on the basis that you've said you don't want bailing out, I think that might be a good way to proceed in your case. Just make sure you tell him before it's too late.

HairyHandofDartmoor

Good advice from Essex Hebidrean. I agree that taking steps to deal with the situation would be beneficial.

Telling him or not has to be your decision, but can you really keep it secret for five years?

Do you know what has been motivating you overspend and to run up more debts again? Could it be depression, boredom, or general unhappiness?

enthusiasticsaver

If you are applying for a new mortgage deal you will have to declare any debts you have so it would be better to tell your OH before you get to that point. Your credit record will show them as outstanding so there is no point in trying to hide them and it is fraudulent not to declare them.

Are you paying at least the minimums? If not I think you will find that 0% deals will not be available to you. If you can get one though that will only help but applying and being declined will again show on your credit record which you do not want if you are applying for a remortgage too.