Do people still leave their money to their children?

BobQ

lisyloo wrote: »

I think that's a cynical/harsh view so just wanted to explain our situation.


MIL is in a nursing home aged 89. FIL is living alone but needs some help with looking after himself properly............

I know that there are many caring families of the type you describe and my comment about selfishness does not detract from them.

But for every story like yours there are those that do show selfishness. For example children who live near an elderly parent who could sell their unsuitable house and live in a good quality residential home or a disabled friendly flat. But the children only visit often enough to talk them out of the idea to ensure it does not affect their inheritance.

Esox

BobQ wrote: »

Charity.
Leave it to people who deserve it even if they are unrelated

Yes, got to find someway of covering the CEO's salaries:

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/politics/11435754/32-charity-bosses-paid-over-200000-last-year.html

lisyloo

For example children who live near an elderly parent who could sell their unsuitable house and live in a good quality residential home or a disabled friendly flat. But the children only visit often enough to talk them out of the idea to ensure it does not affect their inheritance.

Are you aware how much residential/nursing homes cost?
I am because I've visited about 20 recently in an average part of the country (Bristol).
They are anything between £650 and £1250 per week.
The "good quality" ones are £800+ and of course once you go into one then the prices will almost certainly rise and as you almost certainly don't want your parent to move then you are bound to a increasing liability.
Unless you are very comfortable or rich then it's simply not affordable.
The issue we had is that there are two parents with possibly long life expectancies (and a not very valuable flat) so we even had to disregard anywhere with a top up (extra to Local authority fees) as we didn't feel the unending liability could be covered.


What the children should be doing I think (and what we did) is help their parents choose and move to somewhere more suitable.
We moved our parents to a small flat with pull cords, manager and entertainment where their bill were low and there was company and emergency help at the pull of a cord.
We also designed a disabled bathroom for them with no step which wasn't easy with a concrete floor (can't go down) but with time and effort we found a shower with pump.
What they should also be doing is getting them assessed for help with social service e.g. day care, morning visits, help with shopping and perhaps arranging community meals.


Agree some people don't do enough, but going into a home before you need it is not the answer unless you are wealthy or have a lot of equity tied up in property.


Should be obvious but you can't get local authority care before you need it.
It's not on a request basis, it's on a basis of need i.e. people who can't cope with 4 visits a day from carers.

BobQ

lisyloo wrote: »

Are you aware how much residential/nursing homes cost?
I am because I've visited about 20 recently in an average part of the country (Bristol).
They are anything between £650 and £1250 per week.
The "good quality" ones are £800+ and of course once you go into one then the prices will almost certainly rise and as you almost certainly don't want your parent to move then you are bound to a increasing liability.
Unless you are very comfortable or rich then it's simply not affordable.

I do realise how much these things cost and agree that it is not an option that everyone has unless they own a house.

But consider someone living in a 4 bed house, unable to climb their stairs and unable to use their bathroom. They live in a house worth £300K and have very modest savings. They could buy a modern disabled friendly flat and have plenty of money to live on. Some children would encourage them to do this but others would want them to keep their assets locked up for as long as possible in the hope they are not significantly depleted.

Or someone with limited mobility. a £300K house some savings and a £20K occupational pension they rarely spend. That could fund 10 years in a good residential home but again it will not support their child's expectations.

The issue we had is that there are two parents with possibly long life expectancies (and a not very valuable flat) so we even had to disregard anywhere with a top up (extra to Local authority fees) as we didn't feel the unending liability could be covered.
What the children should be doing I think (and what we did) is help their parents choose and move to somewhere more suitable.
We moved our parents to a small flat with pull cords, manager and entertainment where their bill were low and there was company and emergency help at the pull of a cord.
We also designed a disabled bathroom for them with no step which wasn't easy with a concrete floor (can't go down) but with time and effort we found a shower with pump.
What they should also be doing is getting them assessed for help with social service e.g. day care, morning visits, help with shopping and perhaps arranging community meals.

I did something similar and it is as you say the right thing to do.

Agree some people don't do enough, but going into a home before you need it is not the answer unless you are wealthy or have a lot of equity tied up in property

.

I agree. My point though is that its not just "not doing enough". Some children deliberately become unhelpful to their parents or resist giving such sensible advice when it conflicts with their aspirations to inherit.

CKhalvashi

BobQ wrote: »

Or someone with limited mobility. a £300K house some savings and a £20K occupational pension they rarely spend. That could fund 10 years in a good residential home but again it will not support their child's expectations.

Completely agree with this.

My parents don't have a lot and I don't know what will be left when it comes to it. In all honesty, I don't care and don't expect to inherit anything, and I'd rather my parents spent what they do have on enjoying their lives.

Both are still working (59 and 60) and will have decent pensions, however if it comes to it I'd rather if any savings my parents have were depleted we invested our own money in ensuring decent care knowing that financially we'd lose but that it's the right thing to do.

I actually think it's sad we live in a world where our parents look after us for our lives and some see it fit to not look after them if they need it.

Thrugelmir

steampowered wrote: »

Inheritances - and general gifts from parents - are much more important than they used to be!

Always been a major factor in previous era's and generations. Family fotunes handed down eventually being squandered , or lost gambling, or invested badly. One only has to visit National Trust properties etc to listen to the tales. Some that no long ago either.

scd3scd4

Why would my mum want to leave her home to strangers when she has a lovely handsome son.

BobQ

Thrugelmir wrote: »

Always been a major factor in previous era's and generations. Family fotunes handed down eventually being squandered , or lost gambling, or invested badly. One only has to visit National Trust properties etc to listen to the tales. Some that no long ago either.

Very true, the difference is that there are a lot more people with significant sums to leave.

A hundred years ago most people left very little unless they had inherited or had a well paid professional job. Today there are many more people leaving modest fortunes based on buying their own homes.

BobQ

scd3scd4 wrote: »

Why would my mum want to leave her home to strangers when she has a lovely handsome son.

Maybe because the stranger was even more handsome and just as young

Thrugelmir

BobQ wrote: »

Very true, the difference is that there are a lot more people with significant sums to leave.

A hundred years ago most people left very little unless they had inherited or had a well paid professional job. Today there are many more people leaving modest fortunes based on buying their own homes.

Wealth doesn't just come from home ownership. Plenty of self made people who have simply worked hard over many years.