Where do I start ?? Desperate for reasurrance.. SOA now attatched

kazza292_2

Here I am again.. 12 months down the line from when I last posted here..

Been on a horrible roller coaster last 3 weeks as I have asked my husband to leave. He is living locally with his sister. Married 13 years he is 47 I am 43 daughter of 9.

I am relieved our marriage is over as I was desperately unhappy as he was not willing to take our debts seriously , we have not slept with each other for over 10 years he is unable to communicate unless he has gin in his hand.. anyhow long story for another forum..

I have amazing family who are very generous and will support me as much as they can.. My kind dad has reassured my ( when I was brave enough to tell him of my debts that he will do what he can to try and let me and my daughter keep the house, )

My ex is now gutted his life is upside down but we have not argued and intend not to. Our debts are pretty hideous,,, although I have myself to blame I was once sensible with money I married not knowing of a £13000 consolidation loan he had many years ago which i added to my own mortgage when he left the navy.
. I do feel I have been brain washed a little over the years as my husband reassured me our debts were fine... ( I know people wont all agree with this ) i Just want to point out that now I have control it feels very satisfying although scary that i can begin to budget sensibly without a gin bottle nearby !!!!..

So as it stands now I really need your help to direct me as i start to issue divorce papers.....

Myself and my dad have put together a budget outlined below.. I do intend to get rid of approx £4000 credit card debt by selling caravan ( dad bought us this ) husband has not put up obstacle for me to do this.. ( He has newish Mazda which I have suggested he sell to clear some of his debts but he was not keen on our initial chat the other day )
My main worry is a good few months down the line when I hopefully will be in a position to ask the Nationwide if i can go alone on the mortgage is what my credit score will be ( i have not yet looked) and dread it if they turn me away so i would like your help to guide me on this.. ( I only put my husband on the mortgage 5/6 years ago when we re mortgaged to do our kitchen.. I /we have never missed payments but have only paid minimum on credit cards.


I am a nurse

Assets- House £103k mortgage approx value £145k ( My dad has said he will give him a percentage of equity if need be), although husbands words were the other day that he doesn't want to " screw " me and daughter
Caravan/ Car as stated above
Furniture/ white goods - husband not concerned about sharing these things.
No savings

Debts- MBNA CC- £2,470 Balance with £4,529 available
HSBC CC - £ 4,792 Balance with £9 available
Barclaycard CC - recent balance transfer took place leaving this empty with available balance of £8700. I have 0% deals on both active cards for 12 months minimum.

Tesco personal loan £ approx £19000 settle figure £17500 ,APR 3.4 % 6 YEARS left pay £280 pm.. i completed a on line tool calculator with Nationwide and it gave me a sum of £80000 to lend mortgage wise on my own with this loan amount each month but when i reduced monthly figure to £150 it gave me £107,000 which would cover mortgage,.. my dad has said he could pay off say 5k off loan to help reduce payments for me. ( I have an amazing dad.. and feel so foolish )

Overdraft £1000



Monthly income/ outgoings that i would like my budget to be although I know it is perhaps a little tight ( mum and dad say they will help.. He has agreed to £250 pm maintenance for now until he looks at his figures !! GOV website indicates should be £ 70 PW,

Salary £1750 with NHS pension
Benefits £ 80 child benefit
Maintance £ 250

Total £2080

Monthly outgoings ( 5 week month included )

-Mortgage £590 fixed rate till 2019 ( cost me £1500 to leave deal)
-HSBC Advance £10
-Mobile phone £40
- House insurance- £45
-Car insurance £25
-Petrol £50
-Council Tax £100
-Water- £55
-Manweb gas /ele- £70
-TV license £12
-AOL/ Phone and broad band £ 25
-overdraft cost £10
-Loan- £280
-mbna cc - £25
-Hsbc cc £120
-clothes -£30
- Hobbies daughter - £60
-Hobbies me £20-
-Holidays £30
-xmas /birthdays- £40
-food and drink 300
- Car servicing-/mot £30
-Emergencies £20
-Hair £15
-Dentist £10
- School club £70


tOTAL £2082

I hope this makes sense:j and i can be saved obviously i realise that i may well need to sell the house but desperately don't want to do this
I not entitled to any other benefits when i enquired.. My credit card with £120 minimum repayment i hope to clear when sell caravan and use this to pay off other credit cards each month

Thanks again for any help you may have for me

sourcrates

Hi,

I know it's the least popular option for you at the moment,but You could sell your house and clear the debts completely.

With that kind of salary to debt ratio, it's unlikely you would be able to re-mortgage to be honest, and I think it would be a mistake to do so, your commitment would increase massively !!

Sometimes you just gotta say enough is enough, cut your lossses, and start over again.

Much better to have a clean slate and rent somewhere, than have Hugh debts hanging over you for the foreseeable future.

My advice would be to sell.

Mnd

Whatever you do, and whatever he says don't rely on verbal agreements
He may say things now that he denies in 6 months (it happens I can assure you)

What ever settlement you finish up with make it final..no coming back later for a but more equity.

Make sure you get maintainance for your child, and any pension you are entitled to

I found myself in almost the same situation as you 16 years ago, except we had no debts though and I'm the dad. We didn't use a solicitor but we did use our financial advisor to calculate our worth, and helped work out about insurances, pensions mortgage etc, and we came to an agreement but crucially we had it typed out so there could be no arguments at later date, but basically I kept the house (as my son stayed with me) and my ex had all our cash!

I wish you well, and I can promise you there is light at the end of the tunnel.

Mark

Mnd

Also change you phone..I'm a tight so and so and we pay 20 a month with tesco for 2 phones with plenty of texts minuts and data .that includes buying the phones!

fatbelly

I only put my husband on the mortgage 5/6 years ago when we re mortgaged to do our kitchen

So who is/are the legal owners of the property? A check at the land registry costs £3 if not sure

Narola1976

Can I ask why you pay £10 for HSBC Advance. I have an advance account and don't pay a fee.

kazza292_2

its a cost of £10 for Advance account for travel/ road side breakdown insurance included

[Deleted User]

kazza292 wrote: »

its a cost of £10 for Advance account for travel/ road side breakdown insurance included

I could never aspire to matching the level of advice on here ... but I would remove your daughter's name halfway down your first post!

fatbelly

Some quick observations before I log off for a bit

1. I think you own your house in just your name. That limits the damage he can do and as a summary I don't think you need to sell up and move, with all the costs that entails.

2. I think you can afford to live where you are but it would be clearer if you could do a SOA in mse format, putting proper monthly figures everywhere, e.g road tax

3. Get him paying what he should. £70 per week is not £250 per month - it's £303.33. Use Child Maintenance Service if needed.

4. Claim Child Tax Credit as a single mum. I don't have a benefits checker to hand but would expect around £40 per week on your salary, depending on what your gross is and how much your pension contributions are.

5. Sell the caravan but don't rush to throw that money at anything. It will be an emergency fighting fund until things settle.

6. View priority payments and non-priority differently. Credit cards and unsecured loan are non-priority. I don't think you will need to default on them but if necessary they, and water, would be the things to stop paying in the short term.

7. Get your single adult discount on your council tax and spread the payment of whatever remains to March 2018

National_Debtline

Hi kazza292


Thanks for posting. Some really useful and achievable suggestions by fatbelly above.


As a further point, try using http://www.stoozing.com/calculator/soa.php for a budget format that is easier to display in a message thread like this. It's also easier for other to then annotate and highlight any areas where they think alterations or savings are possible.


Also, at the risk of splitting hairs, if you are listing your outgoings as calendar monthly, make sure you are doing likewise for income like your Child Benefit. This is £20.70/week which equates to £89.70 per calendar month.


Dennis
@natdebtline

kazza292_2

Thanks all.

Just had a " mouth falling to the floor moment " as checked land registry to start with point 1 from fatbelly suggestions and he is named as owner... I feel sick..

Although my very kind dad said he will really try and help me keep the house as he really wants me and daughter to stay here as to especially not upset my daughter with a house move