How do you sustain your lightbulb moment?

nabowla

I've been a lurker and occasional poster on these boards on-and-off for the past couple of years. Every nine months or so I get terribly worried about my total inability to manage my finances, overhaul everything and watch the pennies religiously and gradually start reducing my credit card debts. But somehow things gradually start to slip and I find that I'm back to my old ways again. Some months I overspend because I've been terribly economical for ages and then I run out of make-up/have to take everything to the dry cleaners/need to get my hair cut all at the same time. Some months I overspend because an unexpected (and inevitably expensive) social occasion crops up and they're so few and far between that I find it hard to say 'no'. Some months I overspend because I'm just so fed up of having to 'make do'.

Ultimately it all comes down to self discipline. No matter how much I want to clear the debts in theory I'm absolutely hopeless at motivating myself in practice. I recognise where I'm going wrong but just can't seem to kick myself up the backside to keep going the distance long-term. I also find it really hard to know how to cut back - for example, I tried cheap cosmetics and came out in a rash that the doctor had to treat.

So, my question is this: how do you guys motivate yourselves? What do you do if you're overspending but don't really want to change your lifestyle, even though you know that it's essential? How can I get the lightbulb to switch on and stay on?

Snaggles

Being involved in a site like this really helps me. Because we haven't got 'problem debts' any more (although believe me we have been there!) it would be all too easy to take our eye off the ball and slide into bad habits. But I (cheesiness alert) feel like I would be letting down the amazing people I have met on here who have supported me and believed in me, and that thought keeps me on the straight and narrow...mostly....:D

Spirit_2

I expressed my LBM as the point at which I could not face spending money we did not have.

We have cut back on a lot of wasteful spending but have also taken a new approach to discretionary spending because I get more pleasure from reducing our debts than I would from another 'treat'. There was a thread a few weeks ago about What motivates you to be debt free . I will find it and *bump* it.
/forums.moneysavingexpert.com/showthread.html?t=544522

Being in debt is just borrowing from our future life.

nabowla

What do you think is the best way of getting more involved? Do you think it would be sensible to start a debt-free diary? I know I've posted quite a bit in the past but I've obviously not quite got the message because I'm still struggling! I'm a bit nervous about doing an SOA because I'm sure a lot of people will get very cross with me about what I call 'essentials' (although maybe that's what I need?)

chloebelle

I agree with Snaggles, being involved in a community like this sustains me through weak days. I visit everyday, sometimes just for 5 minutes of browsing, other time for more sustained participation.

Nabowla - no one will tell you off about your SOA, everyone here is on the same journey. We all appreciate how hard it is to admit we spend huge amount of money on coffee / magazines / chinese takeaways but it is important. If you are worried, look at other peoples SOA, I think you'll find no one told them off or said they were stupid.

In terms of a diary we had a really good thread about this only this morning. Look at threads from this morning and see if you can find one asking about whether spending diaries are any good.

Shineyhappy

Snaggles wrote: »

Being involved in a site like this really helps me. Because we haven't got 'problem debts' any more (although believe me we have been there!) it would be all too easy to take our eye off the ball and slide into bad habits. But I (cheesiness alert) feel like I would be letting down the amazing people I have met on here who have supported me and believed in me, and that thought keeps me on the straight and narrow...mostly....:D

Snaggles is being polite, I know I have to be good or the hard core DFWs will come round and kick me if I fritter money on takeaways or new clothes:D

*runs off to cower in the corner*

Seriously I find coming to this board most days helps me to stay focused as I can not afford to mess up. I owe a load of cash, admittedly most of its tied up to my flat, but my mortgage is interest only and I need to start paying off some the capital or I will never have the security of my own place and I dont want a mortgage for the rest of my life. I want to get to a point where my salary is my own and I wont do that if I am shopping for stuff I dont need or wasting 30 pounds a week on a takeaway/meal out/drinking session. I have my goal and thinking about that helps a lot and this site lets me know I am not alone and have support and guidance whenever I need it.

Maybe get a picture of what you want to achhieve when you are debt free, a holiday of a lifetime, a house, kids or whatever and have the pictures on your fridge, wallet bedstand or a book mark?

nabowla

Thanks to all for the links and ideas. There's some really good advice here. I especially like the idea about keeping something in my wallet to remind me of where I want to be in a couple of years' time. I'll have to give it some thought - maybe one of those gorgeous house pictures from a glossy mag that I really shouldn't have bought

This is going to sound really mad, but has anyone tried living without carrying their cards in their wallet? I was thinking about not carrying my card when I go to work each day, just a set amount of cash and my travel card. But I'm really worried that I might need it for an emergency. I've never actually had an emergency in all the years I've been working but it might just happen if I don't have my cards with me! Am I being silly?

Kevicho

I think with anything its just a case of repetition and routine.

Apparently it takes 30 days to change a habit, so just really follow all the advice and whatever youve learned and apply it for that month.

The good thing is time seems to be flying at the moment, so a month becomes 2 pretty quickly.


The only other thing i would say is it really helps to have a goal, or a very good reason to want to do this.
Whenever bad thoughts crop up, just mentally picture your goal and
the fleeting promise of quick gratification (which leads to long term depression) goes away rather quickly.

Pooky

nabowla wrote: »

Thanks to all for the links and ideas. There's some really good advice here. I especially like the idea about keeping something in my wallet to remind me of where I want to be in a couple of years' time. I'll have to give it some thought - maybe one of those gorgeous house pictures from a glossy mag that I really shouldn't have bought

This is going to sound really mad, but has anyone tried living without carrying their cards in their wallet? I was thinking about not carrying my card when I go to work each day, just a set amount of cash and my travel card. But I'm really worried that I might need it for an emergency. I've never actually had an emergency in all the years I've been working but it might just happen if I don't have my cards with me! Am I being silly?

I don't carry cards with me - I tend to only deal with cash. What sort of emergency would you be carrying a card to deal with? If it's a case of you've lost your travel card then make sure you carry just enough cash for the journey home - I keep an emergency £10 pinned to my notice board - if I ever get stuck without any cash and need to get home then I can grab a taxi and know that there's always £10 to pay for it.

Give it a try for a week - you'll realise just how often those cards sneak out of your pocket when you just don't notice.

nabowla

I don't really know what sort of emergency might crop up. It's just that I'm totally paranoid and can't imagine life without my cards. But maybe that's part of the problem?

consultant31

Pooky wrote: »

I don't carry cards with me - I tend to only deal with cash. What sort of emergency would you be carrying a card to deal with? If it's a case of you've lost your travel card then make sure you carry just enough cash for the journey home - I keep an emergency £10 pinned to my notice board - if I ever get stuck without any cash and need to get home then I can grab a taxi and know that there's always £10 to pay for it.

Give it a try for a week - you'll realise just how often those cards sneak out of your pocket when you just don't notice.

This is definitely true. Leave the card at home for a couple of weeks and eventually you may find yourself happy to cut it up altogether :T