Working with the boss I've reported for bullying

madmuvva

sangie595 wrote: »

You don't have to "stand up to her" to deal with her. Or go off sick. Both are a reaction, and that tells her she's getting to you. Passive resistance. Simply let it flow over you. Ignore it entirely. If you don't care enough to let it get to you, it won't. And if it doesn't get to you, her behaviour becomes boring for her.

But you might have just put your finger on the problem. Not many people are comfortable having a former manager as their "little admin person" - or whatever the equivalent is. You know, like someone who knows the job inside out as a manager playing the second fiddle? Watching their every move? I'm going to take a wild stab in the dark here. I will lay bets that her version of this is that you are the one giving her funny looks, or saying things, undermining her confidence. And there might be some truth to that too. Much as I bet you don't want to think about it that way. After all, like I said, I'd be hung if people were hung for a look! Sometimes it isn't easy trying to look like I don't want to kill an employer - or a member even! Our faces give away what we may think, even if it is just a fleeting glance. I might suggest that you think if there may, from both sides, be some fault - even if you are unaware of it. It isn't uncommon either that our nasty side (and we all have one) comes out when we are least aware it is showing. Yes, she might be trying to put you down by asking you to empty the bin (she might also have a full bin!!!), but may not even be aware of how that is perceived. But either way a cheery "Yep, I can do that" is pretty disarming whichever!

I made it very clear at interview that I only wanted an admin job and she actually recruited me! She is a very poor manager and I have done exactly as you say - my sent box is littered with "sure" and "yep, no problem". When I started she used to talk to me about other team members "being a waste of space" etc and I carefully listened passively and stayed neutral. Her attitude towards me changed abruptly when she received an email from our team regarding a new piece of work and training which we needed to receive and weren't getting. I sent the email from my inbox as I had taken the notes at the meeting. I'm generally pretty easy going and thick skinned, not ambitious but not a walkover either. Her behaviour towards others has been bordering abusive (she has raised her hand to staff in the past) but her tack with me is sending me to Coventry. Wearing.