Worried about a family member

whoopsydaisy

I went bankrupt in August of this year, it was the best thing that I could have done and has given me the fresh start that I have needed. However, just as things are getting better for me, they seem to be getting worse for my Dad.

To cut a VERY long story short, he went bankrupt in the early 90's, we lost everything, my mum and dad went in front of a very harsh judge who told them they were stupid etc.. my Dad doesn't believe that my bankruptcy was so straight forward. He has always been rubbish with money, he is self employed and seems to lose more than he ever makes, my mum acts like nothing is wrong. He has borrowed from me in the past, and has just borrowed £1600 from my brother who is at uni and now has about £3 to his name, and has used one of my other brothers credit cards to help him out of tight situations. He asked me yesterday if I could lend him £1700- before I pointed out that I am bankrupt and do not have access to any kind of sum of money anymore.

A man has just come to the door, in a suit and tie and asked for him, I said that he is not in, and he handed me a rather official looking letter and told me to make sure he gets it. He has not earnt any reasonable sum of money for months and has resorted to borrowing off of any family member of friend who will let him have any.

I am really worried for him, I have no idea of his level of debt but think it could possibly be £60-70k + he just sticks his head in the sand and is insistant that everything will be ok.

The house is in my mothers name, there is no mortgage and although every bill and piece of paperwork is in my mums name, would they in danger of losing it?

How can I help someone who won't accept help or advice? He's quite obviously embarrased, I am worried where a situation like this could end?

seven2seven

Things have changed a lot since the early 90's , one time BR was a major sin , its now regarded as a factor in modern living. I can understand why your Dad doesnt want to consider BR again , but , if you could persuade him to at least go to CAB (you could organise it all) they would give advice.

I dont know about the fact of everything being in your mothers name of whether it would be safe (I reckon that half the house would be regarded as his) , but I am sure others can advise on that. What I do know is that one of his creditors , at some point , will force him to face his debts. I would just suggest pointing that out and stating that he has a choice of being in control of any future BR , or leaving someone to force him in to it. Maybe show him this Forum , it can do no harm.

I know my family kept pushing me , I knew it was right , but call it pride , you bury your head in the sand and hope it goes away.......!!!!!

All I can say is GOOD LUCK to you and your Dad.

fermi

Firstly, have you any inkling what the letter is?

The chap at the door sounds like a process server to me, but that's by no means certain.

It's quite hard to say regarding the debts as well.

Do you think he may have taken any credit out jointly with your mother? If he has a bad credit history that might have been done, plus even secured on the house if so? Again hard to tell without more info.

Has he in effect contributed towards the purchase price of the house?

Sorry I've got more questions than answers.

Are you going to get him to open the letter with you there? If you can it might help him face up to stuff and accept some help.

wok_boy

I had my head in the sand for a while saying to myself that everything would work out fine, then things started spiralling. I had talked my self out of BR several times, thinking about all of the things I would loose.

Then I came to my senses and though "so what", it's for a maximum of a year, I can easily bounce back from this, I won't be able to get any credit for 6 years, but hey am I bothered? I won't be paying off hundreds a month to a faceless bank when that money can be going into a high interest savings account instead.

I'm finding it tough at the moment, because I've only just started out, but it's going to be worth it in the end.

If you have to knock your dad out and wheel him round to the CAB and get the old smelling salts out and wake him up when you get there

fermi

wok_boy wrote: »

If you have to knock your dad out and wheel him round the to CAB and get the old smelling salts out and wake him up when you get there

There is always that option.:rotfl:

whoopsydaisy

You have made me laugh! That would be the only way I could get him there!! There is no way that my mum has any joint finance with him, she point blank refused after the last time.

Fermi, can you explain what a process server is please? We have had baliffs at the door before but my mum has given them a ridiculous amount like £50 and they have gone away.

There would be no credit secured on the house, (I don't think) It was bought for peanuts by my grandmother and put in my mums name the last time he went bankrupt, but it has been hugely extended in that time, my mum only went back to work recently, so effectively he has contributed to it.

I know that he also had a man from the bank/court? (Sorry if i'm being naive and that's not the case!) Come round to collect some money from him before, (he knew this man was coming)

He won't open the letter with me there, I was going to steam it open and look!

whoopsydaisy

I have just opened the letter (eek, i'm so illegal) It is from a company called "power2connect" and says that they urgently need to speak to him about his Citi card. I must say that I never got hand delivered letters from card companies about my debts.. this must be bad?

wok_boy

whoopsydaisy wrote: »

I have just opened the letter (eek, i'm so illegal) It is from a company called "power2connect" and says that they urgently need to speak to him about his Citi card. I must say that I never got hand delivered letters from card companies about my debts.. this must be bad?

Just done a little search and they seem to be a debt recovery agent, maybe your dad is behind on payments? I've never heard of an agent hand delivering a letter before though.

fermi

wok_boy wrote: »

Just done a little search and they seem to be a debt recovery agent, maybe your dad is behind on payments? I've never heard of an agent hand delivering a letter before though.

I have.

OK not a "process server" then. That a big relief.

BTW a process server is:

A Process Servers is defined as a person or business entity whos responsibility it is to serve legal papers on the behalf of the court system. This is called 'process of service'. Process servers are employed to deliver court documents such as statutory demands, childrens act papers, injunctions, summons and complaints.

Process servers serve as both messengers of the courts, as well as legal witnesses to the delivery of the court documents. A process server is a necessary component of the delivery of many legal documents, and is designed to protect both parties in the case to prevent possible misinformation or confusion on the matter.

Typical requirements for the process server include that they be an adult and not be a party to the litigation or court case at hand.
It is quite common for private investigators to be employed as process servers.

I was just reading about conditions of service, so that is the first thing that leapt to mind.:o

Hand delivering a letter like that is just one of the scare tactics DCA/creditors use. It's nothing to worry about. It's designed to intimidate that's all. Probably means he's been ignoring lots of other letters though.

Saying that, he still really needs to get himself sorted. Next time it might not be just a letter.