Loan purchase for family car my ex will not return

henry24

I must be a soft touch. If it was my wife and my baby who needed a safe car I would have just bought it not charged her £100 a month, did you charge her so much per sheet of toilet paper. I wonder why you have split up?

SeduLOUs

henry24 wrote: »

I must be a soft touch. If it was my wife and my baby who needed a safe car I would have just bought it not charged her £100 a month, did you charge her so much per sheet of toilet paper. I wonder why you have split up?

Ah, so the baby coming along had nothing to do with the mother and she shouldn't be expected to contribute to anything it needs, even if those things benefit herself also?

henry24

SeduLOUs wrote: »

Ah, so the baby coming along had nothing to do with the mother and she shouldn't be expected to contribute to anything it needs, even if those things benefit herself also?

I would think the baby coming along was due to both of them, is she working or at home looking after his baby, did he pay her when she did the washing or cooked a meal

TrustyOven

henry24 wrote: »

I must be a soft touch. If it was my wife and my baby who needed a safe car I would have just bought it not charged her £100 a month, did you charge her so much per sheet of toilet paper. I wonder why you have split up?

Not too sure why you have beef against the OP. Are you OP's ex's relative?

Splitting bills is nothing out of the ordinary.

SeduLOUs

henry24 wrote: »

I would think the baby coming along was due to both of them, is she working or at home looking after his baby, did he pay her when she did the washing or cooked a meal

Baby coming along was due to both of them, and yet you suggest only the father should pay for the car.

We haven't been told anything else about the couple's finances, so I think it's a bit presumptuous of you suggest he's the breadwinner and she's the domestic wife being forced to contribute financially despite doing all of the childcare and slaving over the domestic chores while he goes to work and keeps his wages all to himself.

For all we know the wife could be on 5x his salary and not lifting a finger around the house.

But we don't know.

In the absence of other information the default 'fair' position is that they should contribute 50% each for the car, which is roughly what they did do. Clearly both parties thought that was fair and were happy with the arrangement before the breakup, so your opinion that husband should have just paid for the car himself is neither appropriate or relevant.

henry24

TrustyOven wrote: »

Not too sure why you have beef against the OP. Are you OP's ex's relative?

Splitting bills is nothing out of the ordinary.

No idea who he is. Splitting bills if you are both working fine but to me when you need to change your car for your baby charging her £100 a month seems wrong.

henry24

SeduLOUs wrote: »

Baby coming along was due to both of them, and yet you suggest only the father should pay for the car.
I didn't say the father should pay I said if it was my wife with my baby then I would pay

We haven't been told anything else about the couple's finances, so I think it's a bit presumptuous of you suggest he's the breadwinner and she's the domestic wife being forced to contribute financially despite doing all of the childcare and slaving over the domestic chores while he goes to work and keeps his wages all to himself.
Nothing says any different, but after having his baby it's unlikely she went straight back to work

For all we know the wife could be on 5x his salary and not lifting a finger around the house.
But you would think if she was earning a good salary she could of taken her own loan out
But we don't know.

In the absence of other information the default 'fair' position is that they should contribute 50% each for the car, which is roughly what they did do. Clearly both parties thought that was fair and were happy with the arrangement before the breakup, so your opinion that husband should have just paid for the car himself is neither appropriate or relevant.

Once again my opinion is what I would do for my baby

Kidder81

I'd have thought my post was fairly obvious but what I was getting at is the OP and ex were married. Therefore their assets need to be distributed fairly. It's not as simple as "I pay for the car therefore I want it back". There could be a house, savings, other cars to consider also.

In all honesty, I'm with the other poster. If my wife and I split, I'd pay for the car, not for her but for our kids. She could have the house too as far as I'm concerned as I want the best for my kids and am not bothered about money or material things for me.

I've lived through a penny pinching divorced father and it's not something I'd ever want for my children.

macman

Hmm. Since the OP is the legal owner, he could: report the car as stolen and have his ex charged with theft?
Or, as the legal owner, could he not order a duplicate set of keys and 'recover' it himself (I'm assuming that he does not have access to the spare set of keys)?
These would obviously be extreme measures, but technically possible.

SeduLOUs

Kidder81 wrote: »

I'd have thought my post was fairly obvious but what I was getting at is the OP and ex were married. Therefore their assets need to be distributed fairly. It's not as simple as "I pay for the car therefore I want it back". There could be a house, savings, other cars to consider also.

In all honesty, I'm with the other poster. If my wife and I split, I'd pay for the car, not for her but for our kids. She could have the house too as far as I'm concerned as I want the best for my kids and am not bothered about money or material things for me.

I've lived through a penny pinching divorced father and it's not something I'd ever want for my children.

It just bothers me that there is an assumption that he is doing better financially that the ex Mrs and also that he can afford to now pay the remaining instalments of the car loan on his own without the contribution that she had previously agreed to. Maybe she earns a whole pile more than he does in which case it would be completely unfair to waltz off with the car and leave him alone with the debt. Maybe she's an absolute cow who spends all of the child maintenance money on handbags for herself and he doesn't want to throw a car in on top. Maybe he can afford to pay the additional payments by himself to let her keep the car without contributing anymore but he would rather have saved that money towards his child's future. Maybe he really is the villain of the piece who wants to contribute as little as he can get away with to his child because he's resentful of his ex.

We just don't know.

Without knowing the whole picture (as you alluded to), it's not fair on OP to jump to conclusions that lead to the result that he should just suck it up and pay.