Help Needed Again

cap24

Hi guys,
I need your help once more. I posted on this forum about one year ago and had some encouraging comments.
However things are really desperate once more. So to set the picture I have around 15k worth of debt, made up of 3 loans which i have defaulted on and a couple of payday loans. I am a 25, almost 26 year old and at my wits end really. So basically when I posted around a year ago I posted how I was scared I would lose my girlfriend due to the immense burden of my debt. This has become a reality, my girlfriend had an amazing opportunity to move to Manchester for a new job and at the time I was still in a dead end job so had hoped to join her however this was always going to be difficult. Ultimately I could not join her and the relationship deteriorated and ended last week. This has led me to revalue everything.
When the relationship was on the rocks I started to gamble again, hence the payday loans. I literally stopped for a whole year!
I am in a new job myself which is actually a good job, with good prospects and earn around £1350 a month which is a good increase on what I was earning.
However, I do not know what to do. The debt is really beginning to cripple me as I know if I could have moved to Manchester along with my girlfriend we would have been fine . I do not see how I can realistically pay this debt off anytime soon and be able to do normal things. I am a graduate and my friends are all at the stage of buying houses etc, I am so embarrassed about my debt and the long term effects.
Basically I do not know what to do, i need some advice on what is best. I have considered bankcrupcy but then I would most likely lose my job as I work in a regulated industry. Obviously I know I need to stop the gambling again and it is something I am confident I can do as I have done it before.
I think I am close to falling into depression, I cannot think of anything except for the debt and how badly I have messed everything up. I do not feel that I have anyone I can talk to about things and feel like I come home from work and do nothing pretty much every day - hence why I have begun gambling again.
I'm sorry if this all seems a bit jumbled I am just really not sure where to turn. I am struggling.

cap24

I am also investigating ways in which to earn some more money

sammydawny

Hi firstly congratulations on your new job, well done. Take this opportunity to help you plan a way forward to get you where you want to be i.e out of debt. I think you need to break your challenges down in to little steps - yes stop gambling, etc some help for this from support groups who can help you understand why you slip into this pattern and what you can do to prevent future relapses. Then draw yourself up a proper list of all your expenses- and a list of all your debts with the interest rates that apply. Once you are armed with this knowledge you can start to chip away at what at the moment seems like an insurmountable amount. Yes it will be hard and at times will feel like you aren't making any progress - but stick with it, and you will get there- I'm sure everyone on here will support you, and be able to offer advice. Good luck and remember - little steps to reach your goal.

enthusiasticsaver

£15k is not an insurmountable amount of debt. Is this built up just through gambling or are you overspending too?

First, get help for the gambling. You cannot let that be the thing you turn to when times get tough. There are support groups out there and remove credit cards etc from websites. You only mention loans. Do you have credit card debt too?

Post an soa on here and we can help you come up with a plan. Forget about what everyone else is doing. You don't know how much debt they may have. If you get your finances sorted out then everything else will follow. Can you talk to your parents or can they help you?

cap24

Hi guys,
Thanks for your positive words. I guess I'm just struggling at the moment with the beak up and everything else going on but I know I need to get control of my finances and become debt free. That is the only way I will really be able to be in control of my life.
My debts are 10k, 3.5k and 1.5k loan and then around 200 on a credit card so that's minimal but obviously I want it paid off also.
I have been thinking over things and I want to be debt free by the time I'm 27. I know it's probably an ambitious goal but I'm 26 in September and I need a goal. Even if I just miss it at least I will be close. As I have been thinking about the buying a house and that and thought really that all it means is il be paying a mortgage for a few more years than my friends if i sort my problems out now. Like with my job I get a good pension, good prospects to earn more and also exams which are paid for to further myself in my role. I also have a savings scheme where I will receive around 1.2k next summer, along with a 1k bonus in work when I pass 3 exams so I guess I could try to tie all this in.
I will need help and support though and I hope you guys can be there for me to guide me through this.
Thank you once more,
Andrew

cap24

My other question is how would a default affect me long term as once it's satisfied so once the loan is paid off is it possible to get a mortgage etc?

sourcrates

cap24 wrote: »

My other question is how would a default affect me long term as once it's satisfied so once the loan is paid off is it possible to get a mortgage etc?

Defaults stay on your file for 6 years, then disappear as though they were never there, usually the further back in time the default is, the less effect it will have on you.

Butch1985

Hi Cap24. First thing you need to do is address the gambling. Get to GA (Gamblers Anonymous) as it will help you with more than just stopping gambling. I know it looks right now that the debt is the biggest problem but in fact it's a consequence of the gambling (and bad money management).


I've been there myself, been off gambling 14 months and in that time reduced my debt from 16.5k down to 9.5k and I earn roughly the same as you in my main job. The last 6 months actively gambling were the worst as it was just after the breakup of my long term relationship. I used gambling as an escape from my problems only to compound them even further. First thing I did was admit my problem and go to GA (it helped me with all aspects of my life). One of the steps talks about taking a serious financial inventory (SOA or Statement of Affairs) to see where I was financially. Earning extra money was my next step - part time job in the bar. Then get a payment plan in place and stick to it, don't set unrealistic targets.


Take it one day at a time. There is no quick fix and the sooner you come to terms with it the better.

cap24

So if a default is satisfied then it won't have too much of an impact say a couple of years after?
Thank you