Holding back the Years

[Deleted User]

Brilliant post lessonlearned I saw some of the programme a little while ago when a young woman with three children was being evicted and said she couldn't find the deposit for a new place yet drove off in her car with an Iphone in her hand I think its often down to prioritising your wants as opposed to your needs You NEED a roof over your head for your self and your children you don't need a fancy phone or a car. I agree often its the can't be a%%ed to do it more than can't do it .With the advent of the internet and youtube there is plenty of information about budgeting and cooking available and you don't have to spend a fortune to feed your family home cooked food .I am afraid we seem to have an awful lot of lazy people in this modern world who want everything to be 'instant' food included.

I live reasonably well and want for nothing and am quite capable of rustling up a decent meal that won't break the bank.But then I prefer my own home cooked stuff to 'junk' food.I grew up in the 1940-50s when 'austerity ' really was tough with folk ekeing out a bag of coal per week and going to bed to keep warm with hot water bottles and no central heating or wall-to-wall carpets Ok I prefer life as it is today and why not I can afford things more because I budget carefully

lessonlearned

Yes Jackie that was the same programme I watched. I felt so sorry for her eldest daughter. She was the one starting to self harm.

The woman had had six months notice from her landlord to prepare, not as if she was just thrown in at the deep end. Plenty of time to sell her car to raise the money for the deposit and fees.

Many years ago when I bought my first house the mortgage interest rates were soaring and I had to make a decision to sell my car so I could pay the mortgage.......

This meant I had to get up at 6 to catch the bus to work and get to work ridiculously early because the buses only ran once an hour. No worries I did it.....got to work early, had my breakfast and a cup of coffee, read a book for half an hour, and then had time to put my make up on and make myself presentable, paint my nails or whatever.

It's not rocket science is it.

elona

My parents never actually taught me to budget as such but whenever a bill came through the door my Mum would get on the bus and go and pay it in cash the same day. My direct debits do the same thing and when noting financial details in a special notebook I deduct all the expected bills first and keep a careful eye online to make sure a card has not been cloned as that has happened to me before but because I was on the ball I was able to nip it in the bud.

DH and I always agreed that things like the mortgage, fuel bills, council tax, tv licence etc had to come first, then an agreed amount for household expenses and only then did we think about "wants".

The funny thing is that recipes that I used because they were cheap have become family favourites - homity pies, mini quiches, savoury muffins etc. My chicken pancakes with cheese sauce have been specially requested for birthdays and a friend of middle dd has got a caterer to make pizza wheels as a starter at her wedding.

One dd cried when I told her I would make her an angel costume out of an old sheet for her school play but when I had bleached and washed the sheet, cut it , hand sewed it and added a pearl beaded trim round the neckilne and sleeves and a silver belt round the waist it looked O.K. A teacher asked her where I had bought it

LL

I remember when the interest rate rises were announced - again and again!!!! That is when I became frantic to find cheap recipes, try to make as much as I could and watch the pennies like crazy.

Islandmaid

I watched the programme too, also thought it very patronising- look at this poor woman, if only she has invested in a pension......

I bought my first house the week interest rates went up to 15% - I remember crying myself to sleep worrying how I would pay the mortgage- ended up taking lodgers and living off toast and marmite etc for a good while

I was lucky as friend and her new hubby bought a house shortly after at a 5 year fixed rate of 12% only to find herself pregnant when the houses plummet in value - negative equity nightmare for them

monnagran

I have also grieved at the pickles people get into when they don't have a clue about budgeting.
When I was helping to run a project for the homeless and people in need it was an eyeopener.

Many of these people came from very dysfunctional families or had been brought up in care. They didn't have the first idea about prioritising their money, basic nutrition, how to cook even the simplest things or how to clean and look after their environment.
I spent a great deal of time going into the bed-sits of those who had managed to get one and showing them how to clean, keep things tidy, do a little basic cooking and how to manage their money.
One of the problems I discovered was that apart from TV, and they didn't all have one, they had nothing to do to occupy themselves. That was when they met up together and drank cheap lager and smoked cigarettes which they really couldn't afford.
I taught several girls to crochet granny squares (because that's all I can crochet) and make themselves blankets. Only one young lady took to knitting but she loved it.
The men were a bit more difficult but several took to making stuff out of junk. One did a good line in covering shoe boxes with wall paper to store his things in as he didn't have anything like chests of drawers. Several took to going to the library and reading. One young man wrote the most lovely poetry.
The instances of drunkenness dropped dramatically.

If only there was some system that could teach people how to live sensibly I feel that a lot of the social problems would disappear. It's not that people are deliberately being !!!!less. They just don't know how to be anything else.

If I ruled the world..............

P.S.. the missing word that the decency monitors objected to was f.e.c.k.l.e.s.s

Kantankrus_Mare

Really interesting reading all your stories as my nanna was just the same when she was alive. Something must have rubbed off as I have the same outlook.

I still cant understand why these basics arent taught in school?

I work with young girls just starting out in life with their first houses or at uni and all of them grumble that they were never taught anything about credit cards, interest rates or how to get a mortgage.

Surely these are life skills along with basic cooking skills which also seem to not be taught much anymore. All of this should be incorporated into the school curriculum instead of some of the useless stuff that is taught.

It would make our society a much more "able" one.

lessonlearned

Monnagran ...........I think you've hit the nail on the head, some of those poor souls just don't know any better.

None of us are just born knowing all this stuff, we all have to learn. And if you have no family or they fail you then the cards are stacked against you from the start.

Thats why I always feel so sorry for the children in these situations, they are so often stuck in a vicious circle of deprivation and history repeating itself.

JamesO

anamenottaken wrote: »

No, I don't remember that.
You would have needed to leave enough space between the lines of writing on the first writing in order to be able to find white space for the reverse. Why not simply have the first lot closely line spaced? What am I missing? (Though I do, of course, remember writing on both sides of the paper.)

monnagran wrote: »

Oh my dear, who said anything about white spaces. Writing was layered over writing only in a different direction. Thus you could get 4 sides of communications on one sheet of paper. It didn't help that most of the paper was so thin that it was almost transparent.

[Deleted User]

I am in agreement that 'life skills' should be taught in schools if nowhere else.Instead of the 'civics' that is taught today why not teach them something that will be of use throughout their lives.

I have looked after four of my grandsons for the past 10 years before and after school and during the holidays as both Mum and Dad have to work,with a larger family its not a choice but a necessity.

The boys all know how to work the washing machine and know how to cook basic stuff, in fact the youngest Mikey enjoys baking with me especially small cakes and brownies

They also all make a darned good cuppa (important if you want to keep Granny happy). The eldest lad is at Uni and has three part time jobs as well which has enabled him to travel during the holidays (He has just come back from a fortnight in Canada and is off to Japan for a week in September)
He cooks and budgets for himself really well, and when he is at home does all his own washing,cooking and looking after himself.

I am pleased that at 21 he is able to take care of himself and has not got into massive debts while at Uni(apart from his loan of course ).

The next boy down Jack is 17 and is looking forward to his stint at Uni next year.He works Saturday and Sundays washing up in a local restaurant, and during the holidays he is there full time (in fact I will pick him up and take him there this morning at 8.30 as the return fare is one hours pay on the bus) ,so I don't mind, as he is saving hard for his driving lessons.He buys all his own clothes and shoes and say its to help him Mum and Dad so they don't have to fork out for them.

The boys are all pretty self reliant and know the value of a pound . I think looking after them has rubbed off a bit on them all :)

I see often programmes about folk living with poverty and I do feel for them as I have had times in my life when i wasn't sure where the next tanner came from ,but like a lot of folk on here I prioritised, (still do ) and a roof over my head and food in the cupboard comes a long way before a fancy phone or a car.

Basic cooking should be mandatory in schools along with learning how to budget .I was brought up with Make do and Mend because there was no choice in the matter with war time rationing, and it just became second nature.

Recycling of almost everything was normal and not a 'green' idea back in the 1940s-50s everyone did it and streetching out a meal to two went on every day (didn't have the luxury of fridges and freezers then either ) feeding and filling up your childrens tummies became a fine art to many women.

I see some programmes or articles where folk think that the 1940s way of life was simple ,I don't think it was, it was darned hard work for most women to cope with alongside the possibility of being blown to smithereens as well or not having a husband coming home from the war.

I have no rosy tinted ideas about the 'good old days ' the main thing being that they were certainly old, but not necessarily good .

There was poverty on a scale unlike today, and a great deal of fear.Homelessness was rampant (my late Mum was bombed out twice with three children ) but people carried on as there was no other choice along with the lack health care that we all take for granted today .

Today's problems are different as I think the generation has grown up expecting and demanding everything on a plate, and when its not there then they fall apart. A bit of back bone is needed to be instilled in a lot of people .Libraries are free, and there is a wealth of knowledge around for people to find ,they just need to look for it

moneyistooshorttomention

JackieO - you're obviously instilling a lot of skills/way of looking at things into your grandsons that is likely to stand them in good stead. This is the thing and where it starts isnt it (if possible) - ie in what they pick up from their parents/grandparents.

I think the first money lesson I learnt was from my father. He made a point of saying "Lots of the men I worked with went straight out and spent their paypackets on drink as soon as they got them. I knew mine was for my wife and family" (ie that was back in the era when men supported women and my mother didnt go back to work part-time until her youngest child was a teenager).

The second money lesson I learnt was also from my father - his surprise/disapproval that my mother took so long to go back to work and he was having to be sole breadwinner:rotfl:. My father is a great believer in equality of the sexes:).

Re libraries though Jackie - they are very far from what they were unfortunately:(. I learnt to regard libraries as a great free resouce I had access to and was always a regular user from very young. Basically - I couldnt "believe my luck" that I could borrow as many books as I liked/whenever I liked. But we've had so many libraries shut or reduce their hours. Add that, if they are open - they don't have the books/etc in them that they once had (reduced funds for book-buying).:(